SSPX Acolyte Stumbles During Offertory; Mass Deemed Invalid

October 9, 2012 by  
Filed under Libs & Trads

Tempe, AZ––12-year-old acolyte Jake Brody atoned for his sin Sunday for having negligently stumbled on his way to the altar earlier that morning. The Mass was immediately stopped when the presiding priest, Robert Dillard, deemed it no longer valid. “It was just a mistake, I understand,” Dillard admitted, but explained that stumbling did not appear anywhere in the 1962 missal. “Jake is making amends for his culpa as we speak, but he’ll be replaced nevertheless for the next Mass.” When asked why such a seemingly trivial matter should result in a stoppage of Mass, Dillard responded, “What’d you just say?”