Catholic Democrat Makes Holy Hour Before The Real Presence Of Obama

November 5, 2012 by  
Filed under Politics, Uncategorized

Ardent Catholic Democrat Gordon Frey arrived at the Church of the Sacred Heart of Obama for his scheduled Holy Hour earlier monday morning. 56-year-old Frey appeared in good spirits as he entered the adoration chapel, going down on both knees and uttering the customary words, “My president and my god.” “I’ve been coming here since they began adoration in ’08,” Frey said. “I feel like it gives me perspective after a long day…knowing that the President of Presidents, the Teleprompter of god, the Sacrament of the Oval Office is continually watching over me…like big brother, I guess you could say.” With the presidential elections just one day away, Frey believes that now is the most crucial time come to adoration. “Catholic Democrats like myself believe that Obama is everywhere, not just the White House. He dwells in our hearts and our homes and our business, but most of all, he is truly present here…at least a piece of his hair that fell on the ground once during meet and greet is.” At press time, Frey was in desperate need of the restrooms, but could not leave Obama alone.


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  • Former heretic

    The gospel according to Marx?

  • Mack

    Sadly, a great many sort-of Catholics voted for killing babies under the aegis of Dear Leader.

    Holy Innocents, pray for us.

  • Judy

    I so needed this humor! Thanks to the genius who is responsible for this entry and the entire website! I’m thankful for you all and it is nice to laugh for a change. Keep praying!

  • Jim111

    I hope they have a rail to show where hell meets earth.

  • ba Seq

    should the icorn (i refuse to call it icon) not read ‘the night giver’ instead of ‘the light giver’.

    • Rebecca

      I believe Light Giver was Lucifers title before he fell.

  • aswin f

    utter nonsense

    • PureCatholic

      you do realize its satire right?

      • Buck Eichler

        Yes, satire in very poor taste and vexing to the spirit.

        • voiceinthedesert

          Watch your ego. God is not that small….there are bigger issues

          • Buck Eichler

            It’s a pretty big issue. It’s not just about being totally disrespectful to our President, it’s about all the unspoken assumptions that generally go with such a perspective. The thought, for instance, that the Republicans offer something better. They have totally ceded their allegiance to the god of greed, and there is so much in the Bible about that. The sternest warnings possible. All unheeded. There, my friend, lies the root of all evil.

          • Monk

            Buck, you seem to be in favor of adoring Obama.

          • Buck Eichler

            I respect his work. I disagree with some things he’s done, but that is also true of every President’s actions.
            I’m not going to build a shrine, if that’s what you mean, but I really do believe that the seething hatred people show toward him is not a good thing, and people should resist indulging themselves in it.

          • TellstheTruth

            So Adam and Eve committed their original sin because of money? I thought it was pride…sort of like the pride that the current occupant of the White House has.

          • Buck Eichler

            1 Timothy 6:10King James Version (KJV)
            10 For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.

          • TellstheTruth

            I’m not a biblical fundamentalist who believes every literal word of the Bible and I’m especially not a biblical fundamentalist who quotes from the King James Version. There was NO money when Adam and Eve committed their original sin and their sin was undoubtedly evil, nor was there money involved when Cain killed Abel, another evil act. Therefore, your quote from the Bible isn’t entirely accurate, is it? But then again, even the devil can quote scripture and try to use it to sway people to the wrong beliefs.

          • Buck Eichler

            Yes, it is entirely accurate. And what does fundamentalist really mean, anyway? That meaning has shifted over the years. There is a great body of scripture on this topic, but I only provided one succinct verse. But you are correct in that it is not exclusively the only root of evil. But the point is, the love of money should be getting primary attention as something to avoid, and it isn’t. Not in America. Not at all.
            I choose to trust what the book says, but taken in context, and considering the totality of scripture. I don’t believe in exactly the doctrine of plenary inspiration of scripture. I do believe though, that this book is the most important one in this world, and rely on it as a faithful guide. But my faith is not in the Bible, per se, but in our risen Savior, and I think some people really need to chew on that a little.
            Also, I will add that in this case the KJV, which I used because most people don’t seem to object to it, is not of pinpoint accuracy to the Greek in this passage. A better translation would be that the love of money is A root of all evil rather than THE root of all evil, so it is not really intended to claim it is the one and only root of evil, leaving room for other roots, such as is listed as the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life, which speak to the original sin you mentioned.
            My point in bringing this up is that people are laser focused on much lesser issues. It’s important to keep the main thing the main thing.

          • TellstheTruth

            OK, fine. I accept your acknowledgement that you agree with me. *A* root of evil is different from *the* root of evil. Now to the inerrancy of the Bible, since you believe it is entirely accurate. Which version of the creation of the world is the correct version–the first version found in Chapter 1 of Genesis or the second version found in Chapter 2 of Genesis.

          • Buck Eichler

            You see, you are not reading very carefully. I said it was entirely accurate in answering your statement “therefore your quote from the Bible wasn’t entirely accurate…” I responded that yes, my quote was accurate. I went on to explain that I don’t agree entirely with the doctrine of plenary inspiration. I can’t go so far as to say that God preserved all the words of the BIble, but I do believe He has preserved all the meanings in the Bible.
            But look. I’m sure both us have great demands on our time. If you want to delve into something in a sincere way, with a willingness to approach these topics with a little humility and an open mind, as I will, I would be glad to have a discussion together with you.
            I will tell you that I don’t have any fear or anger towards atheists or anyone. I understand why people would feel as they do, and coming from their perspective, they are simply being honest. So in short, I’d rather we had a productive exchange rather than trade blows.

          • TellstheTruth

            “I will add that in this case the KJV, which I used because most people don’t seem to object to it, is not of pinpoint accuracy to the Greek in this passage. A better translation would be that the love of money is A root of all evil rather than THE root of all evil, so it is not really intended to claim it is the one and only root of evil, leaving room for other roots, such as is listed as the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life, which speak to the original sin you mentioned.” Thank you for agreeing with me and for admitting that the Bible agrees with me also.

            As to your second paragraph about not having any fear or anger towards atheists–I’m not an atheist. And there are two creation accounts in the Bible.

          • voiceinthedesert

            Respect. He works for us.

  • Susan

    OMG too funny

  • jeromeleo

    That image is blasphemy, not funny or satire.

  • jeromeleo

    The whole text is blasphemy, this is so much worse than your usual humor. Lord have mercy. Satire has moral limits, and I believe this exceeds them.

    • voiceinthedesert

      Is God really that small that it bothers Him?

      • IrishEddieOHara

        Yeah, really. Get a life!

  • Juan Pedro

    This fellow got an iPhone from the White Hose for sure, now he is shooting for a permanent payment of his rent/mortgage from the same source. Don’t hold your breath imbecile.

  • James Netusil

    I’m sorry – but I think you’ve gone too far with this one. I know it’s satire, but you’ve crossed the line to blasphemy.

  • Elizabeth

    I love the posts on Eye of the Tiber – they are so right on and yet make me laugh about bad situations that I get too stressed over! Can’t WAIT to get crucified by people when I post this one!!!

  • More Tea Vicar?

    Where are the horns, hooves and trident? tsk! tsk! tsk!