Lapsed Catholic Confirms She Is Still Spiritual

December 18, 2012 by  
Filed under Libs & Trads, Uncategorized

Sara Matson attempts to become one with her creator

Sherman Oaks, CA–27-year-old Sara Matson confirmed to friends yesterday that she was indeed still very spiritual despite no longer attending Mass. Matson, a World Religions teacher at St. Francis Xavier Catholic School in Sherman Oaks, California reported to her friends that she feels her creator’s presence everywhere. “Not that there’s anything wrong with going to church,” Matson later confirmed. “There’s also nothing wrong with not going to church. And actually, if you really think about it…since our creator, call her what you will, is in everything, then really, everywhere is church, if you kinda think about it like that.” At press time, Matson has asked her friends not to judge her, since you don’t define another when you judge them, but rather, define yourself.

  • Joan

    … my head hurts …

  • http://stevensambo.blogspot.com Steven Surrency

    Unfortunately, I don’t think many would recognize this as a parody.

  • DEW

    Makes one feel all fuzzy and warm like a syrupy Rod McKuen poem…like, I’m okay, you’re okay, only I’m more okay but that’s okay, cuz hey, we all listen to the warm on a cold night by the fire.

  • Marie Augustine

    …. Many prayers for you Sara; I often wondered what happened, where you went. I enjoyed singing with you at Mass, you made me sound better. Being “spiritual”; Hmm. Well all I can say is the Devil is “Spiritual” too. Yes God is everywhere, spiritually, and we can all encounter Him spiritually, but He is only really, truly, physically, tangibly present in the Most Holy Sacrament of the altar. Our souls are fortified when they receive Our Redeemer in this way. Holy Mass is still at 10:00 at St Francis, 16826 Saticoy St, 91406. God bless you my dear friend.

  • Daniel

    Oh no! Somebody has hacked EOTB and started replacing parodies with real news.

    • Daniel

      definitely meant to write EOTT… the lack of an edit feature on the post function seriously diminishes the ability to keep a punchy post punchy.

  • Catholic Coach

    “World Religions” teacher at a Catholic school…lol! As a catechist and youth minister this one cuts too close to the bone! “Put a rock in the middle of the table, and tell the students it represents God…” That’s what we’re supposed to teach our Confirmation students these days, folks! New age spiritualism, monism, pantheism…it’s all good!

  • PureCatholic

    I so agree with this God is everywhere

    • PureCatholic

      lol JK.