Self-Proclaimed Thomist Admits He Knows Nothing Of Thomas

January 2, 2013 by  
Filed under Parish Life, Uncategorized

Spokane, WA––It was reported this week that Gonzaga University grad and self-proclaimed Thomist Stephen Hillers knows virtually nothing about the works of St. Thomas Aquinas. Hillers, well known for beginning his sentences with the words, “Well, according to Thomas…” came clean to friends late Tuesday night when he revealed that he did, in fact, know nothing about the Summa Theologica, and that he had never even heard of the Summa Contra Gentiles until that very night. “We always knew he was full of it,” a friend of Hillers said. “But on Tuesday, when Steve said that according to Thomas, the biggest human temptation was to settle for too little…that was too much. I called him out on it.” Hillers has since apologized to his friends, saying that he never meant to mislead anyone. “Really, I didn’t. I never meant Thomas Aquinas. I meant ‘Thomist’ as in a student of Thomas Merton. Ever heard of him?” Hillers says he intends to begin reading Seven Story Mountain this Fall.

  • James

    Now if only Lord Acton would have admitted to this. Then we would not have so-called “Whig Thomists”.

    http://www.ewtn.com/library/business/fr94302.htm

  • Will

    Was he Nancy Pelosi’s thesis advisor?

    • Larry Guglielmi

      HA!!!!

  • Little Miss Sunshine

    As one of my professors (at a more faithfully Catholic university) has said, “They don’t know Thomas Aquinas from Thomas English Muffins.”

  • Edward Duncan

    At Gonzaga we do have some very good Catholic professors, Dr. Michael Tkacz is one of them and a very good Thomist as well. http://vimeo.com/40524424 check out his work on St. Albert the Great. Trying to be a good Catholic at Gonzaga is an exile of sorts :P

  • Tony

    Storey, not Story.