Chicago School Board Bans Crosses And Lower Case T’s

January 17, 2013 by  
Filed under Politics, Uncategorized

Chicago, IL–In the midst of the political firestorm regarding Montgomery Elementary School student Adrian Townsend’s right to wear a cross necklace, the Chicago School Board today announced that crosses, crucifixes, and lower case T’s would be banned in all public schools in the Chicago Unified School District. “We feel that things such as the cross may be offensive to those students who have no religious affiliation,” President of the Chicago School Board Jennifer Adams told the press. “But not only crosses, but also things that may resemble them. We’ve had a complaint from one concerned parent who said that her son had come home after a day of practicing the lower case ‘t’ telling her that Jesus had died for her sins.” A spokesman for the mother says that it now takes her son much longer to read a sentence, since he stops to kiss every ‘t’, and to utter the words ‘My Lord and my God,’ before continuing.

 

  • http://southernvermontcrank.blogspot.com/ I am not Spartacus

    As Israel (which bans the plus sign) goes, so goes the world

    • Cassandra

      One writer reported that muslim authorities acted paranoid over the “*” in his text because it resembled the star of david.

  • http://virgosapiens.wordpress.com Caroline

    Though in a sense, Israel’s banning the + makes more sense since they are banning something they (incorrectly) consider blasphemous. It’s wrong, but they are consistent and up-front about it. Secularism trying to get rid of all religious anything (mostly Christianity, though) is dogma posing as neutrality.

  • Maria

    If people with no religious affiliations were truly offended by the letter ‘t’ or anything that resembles the cross, then why the heck do a lot of athiests wear the Rosary as an accessory? or the Cross as a decoration? And so many people who do not have religions yet do not go ga-ga over the letter t.

    Though the plus sign might be banned in Israel, so many Jews around the world do not find writing the plus sign or the letter t, or seeing the cross, offensive. If that is the case – then they probably would have had churches shut down in Israel, or even wouldn’t even allow the Red Cross in their country.

    • http://southernvermontcrank.blogspot.com/ I am not Spartacus

      Red Star of David

      One country in particular, however, refuses to use either the red cross or the red crescent.

      Israel’s Magen David Adom Society (MDA) uses the unrecognised red star of David as its emblem. As a result, the society is still not a member of the international Red Cross movement, something which many Israelis see as unjust.

    • Ginkgo100

      Aaaaand the Missed Satire award goes to you, Maria! (Just so you know, this whole site is Catholic satire. It’s not real.)

  • Panda Rosa

    My Ford! Has it come to this? (Oops, that last sentence, plus this one, are going to get me in real trouble.)

  • Thinkling

    In other news, a group of atheists read the beginning of the Gospel according to John, and after reading “the Word is God”, proceeded to file a lawsuit claiming the use of words violated the separation of Church and State [sic].

    Their suit contends the use of words in any way is unconstitutional, and petitions to make their use illegal, as well as unspecified damages. The circuit judge has issued a preliminary injunction forbidding the use of words until the case is resolved.

    In other news, several prestigious law schools have reported an unusual uptick in the number of applications from street mimes.

    • Panda Rosa

      A lawsuit devoid of any words? This should be fun.

  • http://www.zazzle.com/artists4god?rf=238686044861169565 Rose Santuci-Sofranko

    LOL, oh my gosh, that last part about the “t” totally cracked me up!

  • DreamerGal

    Do you have a source for this? It reads like something out of The Onion.

    • http://catholicroundup.com Sean McG.

      @dreamergal: eye of the tiber IS a satirical site. Think of it like a catholic onion.

    • Ginkgo100

      Since you mentioned The Onion, you don’t actually get the Missed Satire award, but you do get honorable mention!

  • Mary Ann Dowd

    Thanks for talking me down off the ledge after yesterdays blackout of the March that probably didn’t happen in Washington since nobody in the media reported it.
    Your website is wonderful!!! Who says Catholics have no sense of humor?

  • Ginkgo100

    In related news, the Society of St. Pius X banned the use of most fonts. “Tradition does not include the addition of the pagan tail at the bottom of the lower-case t. The true cross does not have a tail, but modernists in the church have added this innovation since Vatican II.” The SSPX recommends its schools and publications use only the geometric fonts Futura and Century Gothic, whose lower-case t do not include a tail.