[Breaking] Biden Steps Down As VP Hours After Becoming Pro-Life

March 19, 2013 by  
Filed under Politics, Uncategorized

Former Vice President Joe Biden attending Pope Francis' Installation Mass.

Former Vice President Joe Biden attending Pope Francis’ Installation Mass.

Washington, DC––Vice President Joe Biden announced today that he was stepping down as Vice President just hours after an altercation on the phone between Biden and President Obama regarding the sanctity of life. This comes on the heels of Biden’s visit with with Pope Francis after the conclusion of the pope’s Installation Mass, in which Biden could be heard uttering the words “what have I done…what have I done.” “It appears as though Mr. Biden has had a change of heart with regards to the abortion issue after his meeting with the pope earlier today,” U.S. Press Secretary Jay Carney told the press moments ago. “He [Biden] called President Obama and informed him that he could no longer stand by as millions of babies were aborted. He also said that he had confessed his sins and now looked to remain in good standings with the Church and the good Lord. He also urged President Obama to make peace with God.” Although the full details of the phone conversation have been slow to come out, Washington insiders have said that after a heated debate about when life begins, Biden told President Obama that he was stepping down “effective immediately” to live a life of prayer and meditation. Biden aides have yet to comment on the details, but have confirmed reports that the former vice president had placed a call to Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI about staying with him until he could get an abandoned monastery of his own to live out the rest of his life. At press time, a bare-chested Biden was seen on his knees outside St. Peter’s Basilica, repeatedly lashing himself as he screamed the words “mea culpa” in reparation for his sins.

  • Sean

    One can dream…

    • Tony

      I know T.T

  • Sam

    Oh, if only it were true. He and the other pro-abortion politicians need our prayers…

  • Dave

    If only…

  • Dave

    If only…

  • Jeff

    Some witness claimed he tore his garment and putting sack cloth on, poured ashes on his head and sat in dung.

  • Chris

    I heard that after receiving the Eucharist he almost died of ecstasy like St. Imelda Lambertini

  • Luke

    I look forward to reading about the later conversation in which V.P.-Emeritus Biden tries to convince Nancy Pelosi to follow him. Well done, EOTT – your best story yet.

  • Let’s keep praying people. This can come to past.

  • jamey brown

    He’s become a Lay Franciscan and works at Rachel’s Vinyard.

  • Pingback: PopeWatch: Biden Culpa | The American Catholic()

  • Susan

    Well it’s a beautiful day-dream anyhow.

  • ithakavi

    Actually, Slow Joe asked Francis if he wanted to confess to him.

  • San Miguel defiendenos