“Life On The Rock” Inexplicably Picked Up For Yet Another Season

April 29, 2013 by  
Filed under Parish Life, Uncategorized

LOTR

Birmingham, AL––The EWTN program Life On The Rock was inexplicably picked up for yet another season this week, baffling many of its viewers as well as network CEO Michael Warsaw. A source at the network announced this week that “for absolutely no good reason whatsoever” they have decided to pick up the show for teens and young adults for another season. “To be honest, I haven’t the faintest clue why we keep doing this to our viewers,” Warsaw said, laughing. “It started out years ago as an April Fools joke, and for some reason or other it just stuck.” Warsaw went on to say that, though the program is painful in itself, that it has had some good effects on its “Catholic Militant viewership.” “From the outset of each program the viewer is made to watch and listen to the theme song, which can be used as a means to purge the soul of sins, so we believe.” But one viewer, a former agnostic from Rochester, New York who asked to remain anonymous, told Eye of the Tiber that the program has done nothing but question his belief in all that is good and beautiful. “I just…I don’t know. Sometimes I just wonder how a good and loving God could allow something like this to happen…season after season.”

  • Chris

    It isn’t really that bad, is it? Would your rather ewtn run nothing but tlms constantly?

    • Chloe

      Wait, are you using the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass as a burn? That sounds like a stellar idea, why haven’t I thought of it before?

  • http://blog.theotokos.co.za/ Stephen

    More TLMs on EWTN would be nice. If they remove the purgatorial theme song, the time they make up would allow for more TLMs.

  • Britny

    Awww… I like Life on the Rock. what I don’t like are the kiddy shows… they make no sense to me. I used to watch Daily Mass, Mother Angelica, Life on the Rock, and the Divine Mercy Chaplet before I even joined the Church. Now I don’t watch as much because of school. but EWTN rocks, despite our FOCUS missionaries complaining about “that traddy Catholic channel”. And yes I know this is satire and not really happening, I’m just wondering why Life on the Rock is getting picked on. Though I will say…. the theme song got old pretty quick

    • Panda Rosa

      Trust me, the kids’ shows on TBN are just as bad, and the songs are as pleasant as mosquitoes’ buzzing in my ears.

      • http://doatney.blogger.com/ David Oatney

        I wouldn’t pick on EWTN…feel blessed that we have it. It is vastly superior to much else in Catholic media, and nearly everything in the evangelical Protestant world.

  • http://veneremurcernui.wordpress.com Tantumblogo

    Wow, if they think EWTN is traddy…….

    I know exactly why Life on the Rock is being picked on, it’s a program filled with modernism with regular drifts into indifferntism, and repeatedly joins the culture in sexualizing teens, just in a slightly different way. Their tiresome beating of the NFP drum is yet another reason to stay far away.

    EWTN has gone downhill dramatically since Mother Angelica became unable to manage the network. And, orthodox Catholicism has undergone a renaissance, so that the problems at EWTN are more glaringly obvious.

    No, not TLMS all the time, but at least once a day.

  • Catherine Sell

    I see this as an attack on our youth! I loved it when they added Doug Barry; he will no doubt have a high place on the hill in Heaven. Shame on you Mr. Warsaw, you should be making this production all it can be. The audience is a very hard to reach demographic of teens. Let’s see I don’t know if he’s been on, but Father Stan Fortuna would be an excellent addition to this program. Long live EWTN………..the persecutions have begun no doubt.

    • Chloe

      Respectfully, as a member of the “faithful Catholic youth”, I don’t see how this is an attack on me. In fact, I totally agree with this lovely satire. I’m 21 now, and I tried listening to the podcasts when I was a teen, because I was “supposed” to- they were being aimed at me after all- they were trying! It was just too dorky. I couldn’t do it.

      I started reading real substance- Chesterton and the Doctors of the Church- and my faith grew tremendously.

      I feel like the primary defenders of programs aimed at the youth aren’t actually the “youth”, but people who are worried about the youth, which is very commendable, but forgets that teenagers don’t do “cheesy.”

      Life on the Rock is well meaning, but SUPER cheesy.

      • Tom Leith

        Yeah, keep Life on the Rock and drop The Apostle of Common Sense. Well, there you have it in a nutshell…

        “Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.” ― G.K. Chesterton, Alarms and Discursions.

  • Jonno

    Sorry, but I love that theme tune! I think the show is more interesting than some of the other stuff on the channel.

  • http://www.parafool.com victor

    It did get off to a slow start at first, but Life on the Rock picked up in the third season, with the addition of the “Friar Cam” and when they brought in Howie Mandel as host, under the direction of new showrunner Joss Whedon. The real challenge is to figure out which member of the studio audience is the Slayer before Howie says “No deal.” Or maybe I’m misremembering. I haven’t seen the show in a while and when I did it was usually only when I was sick with a really, really bad cold.

  • JohnK

    Chalk me up as another fan of Life on the Rock. I’ve watched it for a very long time, I had no idea it was meant for teenagers.

  • tim

    My favorite part of the show is when Doug Berry interrupts everyone with a joke that only Doug Berry thinks is funny. Can’t get enough of it.
    Ewtn needs to do something to attract and audience under 45.

    This website is hilarious… and fellow Catholics- its okay to laugh at ourselves every once in awhile!

  • Michael Barsness

    As a young seminarian I don’t watch EWTN. I don’t know, its just that I don’t watch a lot of TV and when I do its sports. If I want to sleep I watch… I take that back. I can watch Fr. Groschell before I can watch much else EWTN. Maybe EWTN needs to make Catholic sitcoms and action movies with good themes but to sit down and watch TV to be informed… I’d rather read any number of theology books.

    • Micha Elyi

      Maybe EWTN needs to make Catholic sitcoms and action movies with good themes…
      –Michael Barsness

      I was soooo hoping for a TV series featuring men in blacks busting arch-criminals who violate canon law, maybe with some action scenes of investigators crashing a clown mass, flashing IDs, and shouting, “CDF! Hold it right there!”

      • Andy

        Outstanding idea!

  • Paul

    I get the idea that the theme song was written by the guy who wrote the theme song for Scubby Do and the Partridge Family. A lot of testosterone on that show, manly men relating to the kids. And stuff kids relate to.

    • JAH

      As the writer of the theme song, you’ve all given me a great chuckle this afternoon. Thanks.

      P.S. I’m female.