Area Jesuit Excited About New “Clerics” From Tommy Bahama

May 6, 2013 by  
Filed under Libs & Trads, Uncategorized


Seattle, WA––The Seattle-based manufacturer of casual men’s sportswear Tommy Bahama is set to release its highly-anticipated new line of clothing for Jesuits this week. The clothing company, whose men’s sportswear lines already include Tommy Bahama CollectionTommy Bahama Relax, and Tommy Bahama Denim will begin selling Tommy Bahama Jesuit starting this Saturday. Company Spokesman Richard Snyder told the press Wednesday that there hasn’t been so much anticipation about a new line since the company launched its Eudist collection in 2003. “We already know that Jesuits love our clothing,” Snyder said. “They love the comfort and the vibrant colors that take them far away to a tropical island even while in the midst of the humdrum of daily consecrated life. Simply put, they wanna blend in and be comfortable like the rest of us.” Area Jesuit Fr. Timothy Rapoport told Eye of the Tiber that he was really excited about the Jesuit collection. “I just think it’s about time. We’re obviously a huge consumer of their products, and it’s just nice to know that they’ve finally made a collection that’s intended exclusively for us to wear. You know, just like how only priests wear that black thingy with the white square on the throat.” At press time, Tommy Bahama is preparing to unveil its new LCWR collection, Clothes For Him.

  • JMJ2in1

    It could be worse I suppose: Abercrombie and Fitch for the Jesuits and Victoria Secret for the LCWR ( oh dang! my brain just broke over that last visual!)

    • Larry Guglielmi


    • vt

      No, it couldn’t be worse. At least Victoria’s Secret acts like the woman is actually feminine (although pretending that the immense beauty of femininity is something to be be profaned and made common)

  • Fidei Defensor

    BREAKING NEWS: EWTN and Tommy Bahama have reached a broadcast agreement to televise the 2013 Tommy Bahama Jesuit Fashion Show live from the Cathedral of the Angles in Los Angeles. Details of the upcoming fashion show have yet to be released but rumors place the show in the hands of the organizers of the annual Religious Education Congress. An official with Tommy Bahama stated that the contract to use the Cathedral of the Angles was inked on Cardinal Mahoney’s last day in office. When reached for comment all Archbishop Gomez could say is “Eh, it’s a signed contract. What can I do?” Stay tuned for more details as they emerge.

    • Veronica

      They should get the number one Catholic in the country to emcee…Stephen Colbert!!

      • “rumors place the show in the hands of the organizers of the annual Religious Education Congress.” Tommy needs to make sure the clothes are “relaxed” enough to allow for the liturgical dance. One of the bishops was doing one last I saw at the Congress, but he looked a bit stiff.

  • Bridgeport Guy

    Between the Manichean bombing and the Jesuit line of clothing, you guys have me laughing so hard I could cry!

  • Daino

    Hey, your stuff is great on this site. I’m a writer and I have some pitches I’d like to make. How can I submit?

  • Jill

    HA! the last sentence! hahahahaha! oh wow. nailed it.

    • HA! Nailed it is right! They’ll be buying up major flannel for THOSE!

  • jimofolym

    Back in the olden days, you could always spot a priest in ‘civvies’ by looking at the shoes (always black, and prolly a bit scuffed from kneeling during Holy Hour.
    But some of you won’t even know what that is.