“Pope Literally Meant A Flamboyantly Decorated Lobby,” Vatican Clarifies

June 12, 2013 by  
Filed under Uncategorized, Vatican

Flamboyant Lobby

VATICAN–Being interviewed via Skype hours ago, Spokesman for the Vatican Press Office Monsignor Bernard Hopkins clarified recent remarks made to a Latin American Church group by Pope Francis admitting the existence of a “gay lobby” in the Vatican. “It is true what the Holy Father said about there being a gay lobby in the Vatican, but it is not as many have speculated,” Hopkins told Eye of the Tiber from inside the site of the gay lobby in question. “The Holy Father was literally complaining about the posh, overly-decorated, overly-flamboyant lobby located at the southwest entrance of the Vatican where we meet many foreign dignitaries. As you can see there is just too much pink…too much pizazz, as they say. This has bothered the Holy Father who much prefers pastels and neutrals.” Hopkins went on to point out a couple of examples of dazzling chandeliers, glamorous floor-to-ceiling mirrors, and a painting of Liberace. “Of course he wants to destroy the gay lobby. You know how embarrassing it is for him to greet the Primate of the Russian Orthodox Church while standing on a plush pink carpet?”

  • Veronica

    Ohhhhhh…..THAT kind of gay lobby!! (Not that there’s anything with that…)

  • JBD

    We finally know what Piero Marini’s office looks like….

    • andreas

      um, you misspelled ‘Guido’. Where do you think all the lace came from?

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  • Lisa

    Okay, I agree that is offensive. But I wish the Pope would focus more on changing things that are morally offensive, rather than spending all this time and effort on what is aesthetically offensive! I don’t understand why this is front-page news. No wonder people don’t take the Catholic Church seriously any more.

  • Dave

    I can never be sure if commenters take this website seriously or not.

  • Lady Harriet

    Lisa, you do realize that this is a parody site, right?