Man Who’s Able To Bring Christ Down From Heaven To Earth Required To Get Permission From Parish Council For Something

August 8, 2013 by  
Filed under Parish Life, Uncategorized

Parish Council denies request of man ordained to the Order of Melchizedek.

Parish Council denies request of man who was ordained to the Order of Melchizedek.

Albany, New York––Fr. Kenneth Roberts of Holy Spirit Catholic Church in Albany, New York announced today that despite having the power and authority to bring Christ down from Heaven during the Mass, he is still, for some unfathomable reason, still  required to get permission from the parish council about most everything he does. “I guess I’m just kinda confused,” Roberts told EOTT after his request for money to purchase a more proper tabernacle was denied. “I’ll give them the benefit of the doubt though…sometimes people forget that I’m able to do things that angels can’t even do.” Parish Council member Joan Merriman told EOTT that, although she was sorry about their decision in this particular case, that she could not apologize for his requirement to pass things by them before making decisions. “Although Fr. Roberts does indeed act in persona Christi as he forgives me of all my deepest, darkest sins, it’s still necessary for him go through us so that he doesn’t make any silly decisions like spending money on traditional vestments when we could be using that money on new banners and balloons for the church.”

  • Evan Smith

    “Banners and balloons” … over Sacred necessities! Now that says a lot for the councils priorities doesn’t it!?

    • Kevin Orly

      hahah… Indeed Evan! Now this is a a serious council with real “priorities”. I can’t imagine she even said that.

  • Jeff

    That’s not Satire! This is real life!

  • Lisa De Ruyter

    Truly nuts to spend money on wasteful balloons and banners for the Church. Truly the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass is not some ordinary party. I copied this from a facebook site: “The splendor associated with the true worship of God is the inheritance of every Catholic.

    The Cenacle in which Our Lord celebrated the first Mass was a beautifully furnished upper chamber located in the affluent section of the city of Jerusalem. Its mere elevation designated it for use on special occasions above and beyond mundane activity. Why did our Lord expressly desire that the place for this singular Pasch should be richly adorned? Bossuet provides us with the answer: “The Evangelists do not remark,” says Bossuet, “that this was His ordinary custom on other Pasches. The Holy Fathers also say that this adornment was connected with the Institution of the Eucharist. Jesus Christ desired to show us with what care places consecrated to the celebration of this Mystery should be decorated. It is only in this circumstance that He did not wish to appear poor.”

  • Deacon Michael Barsness

    Not accurate theology, but funny never the less.

  • Lucas

    What has banners and balloons got to with your spiritual lives?

  • Rachel Gohlman

    A grain of truth to this one!

  • Fr Larry Wilson

    Sorry but they do not have that authority if he is pastor. He needs to man up and be shepherd.

  • Anne-Marie

    How many more months does this council have to be in ? It sounds like they have a congregational mentality to me.