Pope Michael Comes To Aid Of Deposed Nigerian Prince; Transfers “Sum of USD 5 Millions”

October 27, 2013 by  
Filed under Libs & Trads


Belvue, KS––Speaking from his porcelain throne yesterday, Pope Michael announced to those gathered in the papal living room that, as sign of unity between the Church and the great people of Nigeria, he would be transferring the “sum of USD 5 millions” to an anonymous deposed Nigerian Prince. Citing an email he received just days prior, Pope Michael told those gathered that his heart went out to the Nigerian prince, and to all the royalty suffering in the world. “I’ve received many of these emails in the past few months. This seems like an all too familiar issue, and it’s time that it’s addressed.” Michael went on to criticize “the so-called Pope in Rome” for his inaction and hypocrisy in such issues. “He tells the world to live modestly, but a Christian is called to live modestly by his own free will, not by being forced, as is in this case where the heavy hand of government officials who set up companies and awarded themselves contracts which are grossly over-invoiced in various ministries, or something like that,” he said, trying to make sense of the email. At press time, Michael has directed Secretary of State Mom to please acknowledge the receipt of the email and to await detailed information of the pending project as instructed.

  • Panda Rosa

    Of course then he’ll have to deal with that bridge he just bought, you know, the one in Brooklyn.

  • M Lawrie

    God Bless Pope Michael! “Tu es Michaelis et super hanc petram aedificabo ecclesiam mean et tibi dabo claves regni caelorum”

    • Matt

      M Lawrie, you’re not serious, right? Just continuing the satire??

    • Gabriel

      “And upon this rock I will build my church, Are you Michael and to thee will I give the keys of the kingdom of the heavens”

      M Lawrie…you have a screw loose up there?

    • PureCatholic

      Why does every one keep doing this?

    • PureCatholic

      Why does every person keep doing this?

    • PureCatholic

      Why does everyone keep doing this?

    • PureCatholic

      why does everyone keep doing this?

    • PureCatholic

      Why does every-one keep doing this?

    • PureCatholic

      Why does everyone keep doing this?

  • Tom s

    When informed that sometimes internet emails can be a source of fraud, Pope Michael said “Who am I to judge?”

  • Darran

    I thought this was going to be about Obama!

    • Salvelinus

      That would be Kenyan, not Nigerian

  • Fr. John Higgins

    In my picture, here, you can see Pope John Paul II handing me an invisible check for the same amount, proving that the Roman Pontiff is far from cheap. I used the money to buy jelly beans for the “Free To Be, You and Me” Mass held at Dodger Stadium in 2001.

  • oldfashionedplain

    I love how charitable this webpage is to this poor man. Keep on being good Christians folks! Remember when Christ said, “and therefore I say unto you, mock those who oppose you and belittle their mothers lest ye become like they are?” Me neither, I don’t think he ever said that.

    • ithakavi

      I think He had a sense of humor.