Man Drops $10 In Donation Basket Like He’s Some Kind Of Beverly Hills Millionaire

December 27, 2013 by  
Filed under Mass


Atherton, CA––In what many witnesses are calling “a stunning act of generosity,” a mysterious parishioner was spotted placing a $10 bill into the donation basket at the St. Mark’s Catholic Church 9:00 am Mass as though he were some sort of Beverly Hills millionaire. “He pulled out a crisp $10 bill from his billfold, snapped it a couple times, folded in half, and flicked it with his finger as if he hadn’t a financial care in the world,” witness Randy McGrath told EOTT before going on to say that the mysterious millionaire acted so nonchalant that one could easily have deduced that this was not the first time he had donated such a substantial sum of money. “I mean, his hands weren’t even trembling by time the basket got to him. He just kinda leaned back in his pew and tossed the bill in the basket from about a half-foot out with the calm and poise of a man who’s used to handling large bills. After the basket passed, you could see everyone just kinda looking at the bill and pointing at it. Some people even turned around to see who may’ve dropped it in.” Observers witnessed the mysterious Beverly Hills Millionaire drive off after Mass in what many described as a lavish 2007 Chevy Malibu. At press time, the usher in charge of the basket was carefully taking the bill out of the basket and placing it in her bra for safe keeping.

  • Martha

    Yes, bra stashing is what we millionaires fear most when dropping our large sums of 5’s and 10’s in the basket. It’s truly an epidemic.

  • Audrey Glamour

    That happens often in the churches in Atherton, not just Catholic–though I believe it happens most often with $5 bills, thus the surprise. Atherton has the most churches per capita in San Mateo County! You can look it up!

  • Jonathan Carp

    We always put in $20; have we been overdoing it? Should I dial it back?

    • Jonathan Carp

      I’m neither wealthy nor generous; the ATM down the block only gives $20s and I never remember my checkbook.

  • CumExApostolatus

    I’m very late to the party. But, this is hilarious and hit the bullseye.