Search Intensifies For Missing Reverence During Mass

July 7, 2014 by  
Filed under Parish Life

Sev Samer 2

Sierra Nevada–More than five dozen searchers scoured the Sierra Nevada foothills for the missing reverence at a Mass at the Church of St. Margaret Mary Alacoque yesterday.

Reverence was due to appear promptly for the 9am Mass, but two hours after the Mass had concluded, a search began with helicopters, including a National Guard Blackhawk, looking for any signs of reverence.

Using thermal infrared technology, searchers have still not been able to locate any clues to the whereabouts of the reverence expected at Mass, but a spokeswoman for the Church of St. Margaret Mary Alacoque, Dana Whitmore, told EOTT today that several parishioners were being investigated after being seen walking out of Mass wearing shorts and flip flops.

“We cannot release the names of those being questioned at this moment,” Whitmore told the press. “But we can say that officials from the diocese have spoken to St. Margaret Mary’s pastor Fr. Neville Mayfield about why his altar boys and altar girls were allowed to chew gum while staring out into space during the Consecration.”

Nine ground search teams made up of the Priestly Fraternity of St. Peter were later dispatched to find reverence. They focused on the areas in and around the pews as well as on the Sanctuary.

Reverence was not the only thing being sought. In another part of the Sierra Nevada, a search was underway near St. Matthew Catholic Church to find solemnity and piety.

  • Rae Marie

    There is a grain of truth to this sadly. We want our reverence back!

  • I’m sure it’s under a pile of nuns’ habits, probably in front of the tabernacle. But if the Church was built after 1970, the tabernacle could easily be a 7-day hike from the altar. We’ll keep praying for the search teams.

    • I would just like to see a short tutorial on genuflection.

      • Oh, a tutorial would be so helpful, Tina! We are seeing an alarming outbreak of “Presbyterian Knee” in our local clinic (from genuflecting on the wrong leg). Perhaps Jim Cavaziel would help us produce a decent short-film?

        • We are having problems with the confused tip o’ the hat towards the altar, combined with a crouch–it is an honest gesture of humility,to be sure, but one wonders about safety 🙂

          • Olga Zurova

            Don’t forget about the “waving flies away from in front of your face” sign-of-the-cross.

  • Anthony MT Fisher
  • Hank Kaczmarek

    We say our Masses as Orientum, we don’t allow altar GIRLS, and nobody chews gum. But it gets me madder than all get out on Sat PM when folks show up for Mass in the NASCAR T-shirt, shorts and sandals. It’s hot and humid in NC, but we pay for A/C so the Church is cool enough for me (and my 330 lbs) to read the Scriptures and Intercessions in a coat and tie, so there’s just no excuse for it. Respect for God, the Church, The Mass, the Celebrant, and YOURSELF should keep one from doing that. But there’s certainly no accounting for anything close to taste these days.

  • Patty

    I don’t think I’ve been to a church with the English mass where modesty guidelines are posted. Seriously, nothing is taboo. I’ve seen tank top, low cut, mini dresses and those so tight you wonder how the girl can breathe. I’ve seen men wearing tank tops, sweats and shorts and shirts with beer logos on them. Pathetic, but there is no sense of shame or desire to present oneself in what used to be known as ‘Sunday’s best’.

    • Casper

      How do you expect people to show off their tats, if their skin is all covered up?!

  • Dorothy

    Ah ha ha!

  • Jakob Pohlman

    I’ll bet that the search teams will find it in the office of the liturgical committee. That’s where they’d find it in our parish, anyhow