Coolest Catholic Guy In Parish Calls Jesus “JC”

April 20, 2015 by  
Filed under Parish Life

According to friends of the coolest Catholic guy in the parish, local parishioner Cameron Young calls Jesus “JC,” although JC is not the Lord’s name and never has been.

“Cameron’s always saying cool things like, ‘praise JC,’ and ‘give your life over to JC.’” Friend of Cameron, Joshua Stein said. “He makes the Catholic religion so hip and relevant that I always wanna pray to JC. And I’m Jewish.”

Stein went on to say that although he is sometimes tempted to pray to JC, he doesn’t feel cool and awesome enough to attempt calling him by his initials. “He’s gotta have such an amazing relationship with Jesus, if he feels so comfortable using his initials.”

At press time, Young is toying with calling Jesus “J” or “My Homie.”

  • T. Audrey Glamour

    Mmmm! It’s all about love, dude!

    Love one another and don’t judge!

    It’s all kool!

    • How dare you say it’s all about love, how dare you judge!

  • Jim

    I suppose this is an improvement over Cameron’s 1980s habit of calling him J-ster or Jes-o-rama.

  • William

    Wow! These Papists are so progressive! The next thing you know they’ll be talking about serving whole grain wafer God at their rituals. Everyone knows processed wheat will give you rectal cancer.

    • Are they calling Jesus the N word? Are these people old or insane, or both? The sick-in-head elders reaching out to the sick-in-the-head youth? What is this about?

    • Vincent Chalmel

      This is why I burn heretics…

  • Lee Bacchi

    Love the graphic!

  • He has the virtue of humility but has no Faith.
    He loves the poor, but hates Jesus.
    He weeps with children, but not for himself.
    He is the pilot of our plane, but sits at the back with the poor while the plane plummets.

    He has sold Magdalene’s alabaster to buy food for the needy, but spends no time learning doctrine from Christ.

    He has broadened the path to Heaven, his heaven!

    While saints weep and embrace solitude to recharge their faith and charity, he takes selfies with girls and boys, and kisses Mass servers warmly.

    Who am I to judge?
    I am a poor helpless sheep watching my shepherd poison me and my sisters.

    I follow, like a lamb to the slaughter.
    Who am I to wake up, and run away?
    Who am I to judge?

    I am lost and seek the path.
    My brothers scold me for reinterpreting the words of our shepherd.
    But only last night, I heard him again speak with merchants with wolf hearts.
    He plans to ship us.
    He has already sold us.

    I follow, like a lamb to the slaughter.
    Who am I to wake up, and run away?
    Who am I to judge?

    I am so little!
    My brothers scold me, they say I am proud.
    Me proud? I followed silently for 33 years.
    I speak because there are only 10 of us left.
    We used to be 378 happy sheep.

    I follow, like a lamb to the slaughter.
    Who am I to wake up, and run away?
    Who am I to judge?

    • JohnE_o

      I imagined bongo drums playing while reading that – far out, man!

    • fredx2

      Snap. Snap. Snap

      Groovy, Daddy-O

  • fredx2

    When he grows up, he will edit the new “Gather” hymnal.