New Terrorist Video Shows Christians Being Served Coffee In Red Cups

November 10, 2015 by  
Filed under Politics

A new terrorist video put out today by Starbucks shows the latest batch of Christmas killers being trained by the terror group called “Barista.”

The 9-minute propaganda video released by Starbucks shows masked trainees wielding non-festive red cups and making inflammatory remarks such as “Happy Holidays” in an unknown location in Seattle, Washington.

The chilling video of green-clad barista terrorists standing behind a counter serving paying hostages moments before serving them Gingerbread Lattes in red cups with no mention of Christmas on them is being called one of the most terrifying images of our times.

In the video, the barista terrorists are seen smiling as they clearly undermine the saving power of Christ. The paying hostages are forced to pay for lattes and frappuccinos as a tattooed barista announces, “Thank you…have a great day,” without once mentioning Christmas. The paying hostages, who apparently chose to become hostages, are then given a chilling smile before each is forced to wait for their drink to arrive. The 9 minute-long propaganda video goes on to show terrified hostages receiving their drinks in little red cups that neither mention Christmas or Holidays.

In another part of the video, a barista is heard asking whether the hostage would like a receipt, instead of reciting the Nativity narrative from the Bible word-for-word to the hostage as is done in more civilized parts of the world.

“This is perhaps one of the most sickening videos I’ve ever seen,” said Christian pastor Thomas Hayes who was once a hostage himself. “I believe these barista terrorists are trying to send a clear message: “If you’re going to enjoy a warm latte on a cold winter evening, you’re going to have to convert to corporate paganism.”

  • Benedict Radich

    “Santa” can be rearranged to spell “Satan.” Coincidence? I think not.

    • lostsemicolon

      Presbyterians can be rearranged to spell Britney Spears. How far does this diabolic influence go?

      • Jo Flemings

        I knew it!!!! (ROTFL!)

      • I almost spew my cereal lol

    • Greg

      ya…. and God told moses that he would find he promise land in the middle of Jerusalem and after 40 years he failed to find it… turns out he was looking in the wrong place… if you look in the middle of ‘jer-usa-lem’ you find ‘USA’… so how about them apples…

  • I propose a compromise. You may provide a beverage in a plain red cup–but the drink must be beer.

    • Gene Ellefson

      ….and regards to Toby Keith fans…

  • Kristan Siegel

    This may be one of your best posts yet!!!

  • Maferick

    Spot on!

  • Absolutely terrifying. I pray this kind of violence never finds its way to other parts of the country. May God help us all.

  • DJ

    Shame on Starbucks. They ought to be serving drinks in purple Advent cups until the evening of December 24.

    • Andy

      The “rose” cup for week 3 is a collectible.

      • More Tea Vicar?

        LOL!

  • Billbo

    I believe the terrorists in this case were actually BarISIStas.

    • JR

      serving ARABica coffee no doubt

  • Ryan LeBlanc

    ISN’T THERE ANYONE OUT THERE WHO CAN TELL ME WHAT CHRISTMAS IS ALL ABOUT???

    • John Kloess

      Sure, Charlie Brown, I can tell you what Christmas is all about. Lights, please. “And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, ‘Fear not: for behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the City of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.’ And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying, ‘Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.'” That’s what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.

  • Sarah Owens Betar

    it is not the cup, but , the audacity of political correctness on a holiday that most of the country is proud to observe…because to make it a “christmas” cup may offend the minority??? b.s. I don’t like this overpriced coffee anyway…rather have dunking donuts coffee….best ever, and cheaper….what Starbucks has done is to INSULT the millions of Christians in this country….boycott these insensitive idiots

    • Morgan

      Here we go again with the pseudo-Christian BS even before Thanksgiving. They act like they think they live in a one-religion theocracy. Well, we PAGANS like Starbucks, too, and so do Jews and members of many other faiths, too. Christians need to quit spewing all this trashtalk and start WALKING it, like helping to house the homeless and feed the hungry, LIKE THEIR SAVIOR TOLD THEM TO!!

      • alyson

        Beautifully said Morgan!!!!

      • URNTJ007

        The ones spewing the trash-talk are not real Christians, they’re merely pods.

        • wiffle

          Don’t give in to the anti-Christian hatred. 🙁 The group had the right to speak up if they want. This satire is totally awesome, but the reality is the whole thing is a media generated, click bait event. Yes, there’s a real small group out there, but it’s like any number of things I could find on any given day on the ‘Net.

          • Bob

            Ain’t that the truth

      • wiffle

        “Here we go again with the pseudo-Christian BS even before Thanksgiving. They act like they think they live in a one-religion theocracy.”

        No, they don’t. Christianity is for sinners, not saints. I expect all times to encounter sinners who believe that Christ died for our sins, not saints who are perfectly smart, capable, and behave my standards at all times.

        “Well, we PAGANS like Starbucks, too, and so do Jews and members of many other faiths, too.”

        Sure. But Starbucks would like to encourage sales by referencing a Christian holiday. Personally, I don’t care nor do I think it’s any of my business. However, if a Christian would like to say “Hey, Starbucks, it’s about Christ” I don’t think that’s so terrible. If you think about it, it doesn’t really affect you either, if you choose ignore it rather than get upset about it.

        The other fact to realize is that while this satire is great, this story is media generated event. Can you name the person or group actually worrying about the state of Starbucks coffee? Apparently, it’s just a Facebook group and the media plucking a random click bait concept out of any number of them that exist out there.

        “Christians need to quit spewing all this trashtalk and start WALKING it, like helping to house the homeless and feed the hungry, LIKE THEIR SAVIOR TOLD THEM TO!!”

        I’m not sure you get to define Christianity for others. I’m happy to hear your opinions on what the ideal Pagan do. I’ve found online, anyway, most outsider attempts attempt to hold Christians to a standard have very little concept of what’s in the Gospels and more to do with whatever a personal concept of the ideal Jesus exists at the time.

      • samton909

        Pagans eat children, right?

    • Pat Roe

      Sarah Owens Betar, tell me you are kidding-it’s Starbucks, not St. Starbucks-they are a secular for profit company and owe us Christians nothing other than to be courteous. Stop being a Christian knucklehead. there are too many already

    • Emily

      Does anyone think about the fact that Starbucks has signed a Fair-Trade contract with the farmers they get their coffee from, when most other coffee corporations have not? This means they pay fair prices and wages based on the local market and currency. If Starbucks can’t buy all the coffee beans they expected to because of this boycott, then the farmers have to sell the surplus at much lower prices to other companies that know they’re desperate and will take advantage of them. This gives them far less of a chance of being able to take care of and provide for their families. Start thinking about how your own intolerance affects others before calling someone else out on theirs.

      • samton909

        No

      • More Tea Vicar?

        You can get Fairtrade produce from any grocery store … if you can be bothered to shift your carcass and look for the Fairtrade symbol when you go grocery shopping.
        Then you don’t have to bother with Starpukes! I’ve not bothered with their frothy dishwater for ages.

        • Adam Hovey

          Frothy dishwater is putting it nicely

      • Adam Hovey

        Fair trade agreements do not mean they pay fair wages I know a little bit about law and you are wrong. Do you know what a loophole is? Every legal document has one. And even if they didn’t Starbucks Coffee still sucks. I don’t say that because I am a Christian I say it because it is true Starbucks Coffee sucks

    • kaitipoo

      Um Sarah, As a fellow Christian, I believe there are bigger fish to fry than red cups. Like let’s feed the hungry, house the homeless, provide health care for all, support our vets, end gun violence, hatred, and racism, fund mental health services and other vital agencies and non profits, educate our children and support our schools, end poverty, and care for our Earth, end domestic violence and child abuse, and rapes and murders and other crimes, etc. Now, maybe you do not think that these are as important as whether or not Starbucks puts snowflakes, etc. on their cups, and that is your choice, but I think Jesus might have a different view of this situation and remind us to get busy and do the real work of the kingdom instead of acting all high and mighty and holier than thou and just giving non believers more reasons to think that Christians are whacko. I, for one, do not appreciate being called a whacko because some of my fellow Christian’s have chosen to replace love and tolerance with hate and intolerance and be more insensitive than Starbucks. That makes it mighty hard some days to convince people that Christianity is about love. So, I am hoping and praying that maybe you would like to join me in doing the real work of the kingdom. We need all the hands we can get…Peace, Kait

      • samton909

        You are a whacko

    • VeilOfTiers

      I wonder what Muslims think of the humanlike image portrayed on the red cups?

      They’d be more apt to approve of snowflakes and trees than that supposed hijab-less woman.

      Why haven’t we heard from them?

    • Hotrod1962

      Yeah….yeah….and send all those baristas to Gitmo.

  • DonQuixote1

    This is a very feeble attempt at humor by the librturds.

    • Morgan

      Well, YOU read it, didn’t ya? So I guess you are one of those “libturds!” LOLOL

    • URNTJ007

      Don Quixote was a liberal.

    • kaitipoo

      Don, Most of libturds as you call us are out doing the real work of the kingdom, feeding the hungry, housing the homeless, stuff like that; like Jesus used to do. Remember Him? While the rest of you are like Trump trying to justify getting your knickers in a knot over red cups and feeling oh so righteous as you call yourselves Christians and then so conveniently ignore Jesus (now who was He again and what was He about???) telling us to LOVE one another and call us Libturds. Your approach will have so many flocking to the Christian faith…NOT!!!! And I am deeply offended that you and yours are choosing to drive people away from the faith instead of joining us who are doing the real work of the kingdom. There is so much to do and so few to do it. But, if you can sleep with a clear conscience and manage to convince yourself that this how Jesus wants Christians to act, then Merry Christmas to you. Peace, Kait

      • ithakavi

        For the record, voting to tax people to pay for welfare benefits does not count as charity. Spending other people’s money is not generous.

        • kaitipoo

          ithakavi who said anything about voting to tax people for welfare benefits which I assume ALSO includes the worst offenders of all, corporations? But, while we are on that, why is it not ok to use government money to take care of people who really need a helping hand but fine to use government money to pay for Congressional raises, health care, trips to anywhere and everywhere, etc. ,wars all over the world, stupid pet projects of Congress members like the bridge in Alaska that nobody but Ted Stevens wanted and got because he pitched a hissy fit and took money away from New Orleans who really needed a bridge, studying things like why rabbits breed and have so many babies; things like that, paying farmers not to grow crops that are needed, and on and on. It is wonderful to assume that private people can and will take care of people, so we can use your money exclusively for bailing out corporations, funding wars, and Congress and paying for bridges to nowhere, but it isn’t happening. Mental health centers are closing, my Social Security benefits and yours are being used to pay for all kinds of things it was not intended to be used for, and people right here in America are going hungry because there isn’t enough food and money to feed them; even precious children. The welfare for human beings you speak of is so little of the money spent compared to corporations, wars, Congress member personal benefits, etc. but yet is always the first to be deemed the problem. Why is that? And whenever I suggest corporations and multi millionaire CEO’s and the super rich pay their fair share in taxes, I get told that is not ok. GE and Boeing for example pay nothing in taxes while reaping in the profits, while you and I have to pay up to cover for them. Why is that ok? And meanwhile people think the most important thing to get upset about is whether or not Starbucks puts holiday stuff on it’s red cups. I would not be a bit surprised if Jesus is shaking his head in disgust! Have a nice day. Kait

          • ithakavi

            You need to take your medication. And learn punctuation. And for the record, nearly every independent Catholic Charity is a corporation. God Bless.

          • samton909

            Fake.

          • samton909

            Your not a Christian. You’re a Democrat. There is a big difference, but Democrats don’t seem to know this.

      • samton909

        So, start your own religion.

      • samton909

        I am deeply offended by your insensitivity. All you do is sit in the chair of Moses and issue condemnations of other Christians.

    • VeilOfTiers

      You confuse satire with humor and now look what you’ve started…

  • Stanley Anderson

    I hear that next year they are planning on placing a five-pointed star with a circle around it on the side of the cup to represent the Starbucks of Baalaham. Down below to the left will be silhouettes of three Jedi following the star.

  • Alan Sides

    I do believe this is a trade mark violation. Off with their heads:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BKZqGJONH68

    • Gloryb2God

      It’s all part of a micro-brewed plot so employees can stroll into work carrying a red cup and nobody will be the wiser…

  • Jack Hoft

    okay, this was funny. at least you still have your sense of humor ITO.

  • Having fun at the expense of all involved is godly.

    It is also a teaching moment for medieval history buffs and theologians:

    http://www.patheos.com/blogs/cosmostheinlost/2015/11/10/4-remedies-for-fundamentalist-vs-atheist-starbucks-red-cup-wars/

  • What a sick and twisted world we live in! How dare Starbucks remove those snowflakes and reindeer? Jesus is rolling over in his… ummm… nevermind. I’m sure he’s not happy though.

    http://godsfoolishness.blogspot.com/

  • infidel1000

    Hmm…”Red”. Communist or republican?

  • Vortex Master

    Forget Isiz or whatever they’re called, this is what really matters!

    • VeilOfTiers

      Typo? Do you mean “Ices” by any chance?

      This is not the season for cold drinks. Unless you’re in the Southern Hemisphere where Christmas occurs at midsummer.

  • JOE BLOWE

    uh where is the video?

  • Jo Flemings

    Not to fear! These nefarious ‘Barista’ ranks are being infiltrated daily by Catholic college grads (who can’t get better-paying jobs with their philosophy and theology degrees waving in the wind-) and before you know it, Christmas will be reclaimed and St. Nicholas’ day as well, as a bonus!

    • Jakob Pohlman

      Oh good. I hope I can get a free tall beverage on feasts and solemnities.

      • Jo Flemings

        Hold it there Jakob, we are Catholic- ain’t nothin’ free here!

        • Jakob Pohlman

          Gah. I forgot about the canon law forbidding the giving away of free items.

  • kathleen

    ! I want purple (and rose) advent cups!!!

  • Nate Richey

    Fuck. This is awful … how much longer will the Christians have to endure the war on Christmas? Can’t there be a bit more charity and love this time of year? Too bad they had to remove the Christmas decorations on the cups.

    • kaitipoo

      Too bad some of my fellow Christians had to get their shorts in a knot also. Perhaps the real work of the kingdom was that all along and I mistakenly thought it was things like feeding the hungry, assuring the sick get taken care of, sheltering the homeless, practicing tolerance and love, ending wars, racism, violence, things like that. Who knew it was really about what Starbucks put on it’s red cups? I guess the lesson here is, forget ISIS, and Syria, and gang wars, the real war is against Starbucks. I stand corrected and shall adjust my wrong thinking accordingly.

      • samton909

        Your comment is not about love, it is about you feeling superior.

  • ithakavi

    What is the matter with these people? Can’t they even wait until after Thanksgiving before beginning their war on Christmas? It is all part of the Chamber of Commerce’ attempt to extend the War on Christmas Shopping Season. This is an example of serving both lattes and Mammon.

  • Monk

    So, I thought I would research a little about this sacrilegious practice of purchasing these libation cups at Starbucks temples. And, my fears were confirmed. Searching on “libation”, Wikipedia had a pop-up up asking for donations of $3. It went on: “That’s right, the price of a cup of coffee is all we need.” I’m not making this up. Donatus would be aghast at today’s apostates and traditores. … a cup of coffee today, tomorrow the wholesale denial of Christian doctrine. Any priests frequenting Starbucks in this season of iniquity must be avoided and ought to be reported to the Supreme Tribunal of the Apostolic Penitentiary.

  • Gloryb2God

    and since we’re on the topic, why are there women baristas – isn’t that going against what the bible says about ‘He-Brews’…..

  • Jim

    What’s all this about coffee? I thought the story was about Starbucks.

  • Adam Hovey

    My university has a Starbucks of course the only time I have ever been there is to walk with my French professor whom is a very wonderful woman but has very poor taste in coffee. And in the past I have tried Starbucks a few times I have never liked it. With the cup controversy though honestly I didn’t even know that the colour was red until I saw other students drinking it. I have bigger problems with Starbucks than their coffee cups. Their coffee sucks for instance. I didn’t even know there was a controversy until I saw people joking about it on the interweb. Honestly I don’t see what the big deal is like I said there are other problems with Starbucks.

    • June Test Castonguay

      I have to agree about the taste of their coffee…. Although their Christmas blend pods for the Keurig are less offensive tasting!