Benedict Admits To Catfishing Faithful With “Pope Francis” Persona

September 15, 2016 by  
Filed under Parish Life

Social media users are very much used to dealing with phony accounts, and Catholics in the world of Facebook and Twitter are no exception to the rule.

Pope Benedict “broke the internet” this week after admitting to using the Twitter handle “ThisCatholicPope” in order to carry on the persona of a 79-year-old pope named “Francis.”

“The fact that a pope started a Twitter account just so he could retire and still have power to hold the Catholic faithful in the palm of his hand is deplorable,” local catfished Catholic Brenda Summers told EOTT. “By doing this, he made fools of both the right and the left in the Church. He made conservatives long for his authority and wisdom, and he kept liberals at bay by writing a bunch of crap about the environment.”

After being confronted by EOTT, Benedict explained his actions and apologized outright.

“It was never anything personal. At the time, I was being really selfish…I wanted to pray and study without having to deal with the gay mafia in the Vatican. That’s the best excuse I have,” Benedict said, before adding, “Francis is someone who knows how to deal with the politics in the Church and the world. He’s my inner-popular Peter. Everyone loves him. No one ever loved me before Francis. No one ever awarded me TIME’s Person of the Year. I was just the old german who was once a member of the Hitler Youth.”

At press time, Pope Benedict is asking the Catholic faithful to forgive him and to just love him for who he is…on the inside.

 

  • Heinz

    To the pope behind #ThisCatholicPope, we love and forgive you and are praying for you. Don’t be afraid to seek the help you need.

  • wlinden

    And I shall make you catfishers of men

    • KJL

      Haha, well done. Perhaps it was a catfish that Peter caught and Jesus said to give that ugly thing to Caesar…

  • samton909

    Oh, Thank God. I knew a Pope would never issue a creepy encyclical about global warming, that merely parroted the weird things eco-religionists say. What kind of Pope would say “The earth resembles a pile of filth”? Or what kind of Pope would issue an apostolic exhortation that kinda, sorta, maybe, in a footnote changed Catholic doctrine about divorced and remarried taking communion? Then say he doesn’t remember the footnote, then send a letter to the Argentine bishops saying that he changed everything in the footnote? Thank God our long national nightmare is over.

  • Jim

    Catholic Catfish. Yet another great Catholic band name.