Trump Overturns Roe v. Wade
Image: Gage Skidmore Just a day after Donald Trump shocked the world by defeating Hillary Clinton in a bitterly contested presidential race, the 70-year-old president-elect announced today that he has already overturned Roe v. Wade, as most Christians had expected him to do. “I pledged to every Christian in our land that I would make America great again, and that the Church would no longer have its rights trampled on,” Trump told Catholic supporters... Read More
Satanists Sue Fr. Frank Pavone For Copyright Infringement
Officials at the Satanic organization Blaspheme Inc. announced today that they are suing Father Frank Pavone for copyright infringement after the pro-life advocate placed the remains of an aborted baby on an altar, thereby infringing upon the exclusive rights of the organization. “We patented the whole ‘offering a dead child on the altar and invoking the name of an enemy of Jesus as savior’ thing years ago,” Satanist High Priest Horace... Read More
Francis Waives “Five-Century Rule” For Inquiry Into Possible Canonization Of Martin Luther
In a press conference aboard the papal plane this morning, Pope Francis confirmed reports that he would be investigating the life and works of 16th century “reformer” Martin Luther, stating that it was better late than never in “the Church’s eternal quest for ecumenism.” On October 15, Pope Francis welcomed a number of Lutherans from Iceland, Norway, Sweden, and Germany to his residence in the Vatican, and called Martin Luther a brave... Read More
Pope Francis Confirms Doctrine Of The Resurrection Will Last “Forever”
Paul Haring/Catholic News Service. The Church’s belief that Jesus rose from the dead will stand forever, Pope Francis said Tuesday. The 79-year-old pontiff made the declaration in response to a reporter who asked whether he thought the Church would always insist that Jesus actually rose from the dead. “St. Pope John Paul II had the last clear word on this and it stands,” Francis said during a news conference aboard the papal plane. The... Read More