New Ascension Press “Great Disappointment Catholic Bible” Includes Timeline Of All The Moments In Your Life That You’ve Failed God

November 14, 2018 by  
Filed under Parish Life

  The Great Disappointment Catholic Bible published by Ascension Press hit Catholic bookstores today, with thousands clamoring to get their hands on the brand new bible in hopes of learning a little more about where things began to spiral downward in their sinful lives. The Great Disappointment Catholic Bible uses fun maps and charts, showing the reader exactly where they were, as well as how old they were, when they began to utterly fail God. Also... Read More

Jason Evert Weighs In On How Far Is Too Far During The Kiss Of Peace

November 13, 2018 by  
Filed under Parish Life

  Earlier this week at the Franciscan University of Steubenville, well-known chastity speaker and writer Jason Evert gave a presentation to hundreds of college students with his new talk,  “How Far is Too Far During the Kiss of Peace.” In his talk, Evert went over a wide variety of subjects in regards to living a life of chastity, but focusing on how not to give in to temptation during the Mass, which he called “one of the worst places to take... Read More

Parish Priest Anoints First Extraordinary Ministers Of Confession

November 8, 2018 by  
Filed under Parish Life

  Addressing the crisis of dwindling lay vocations, Fr. Donald Spenser of St. Lawrence Catholic Church anointed the Catholic Church’s first ever extraordinary ministers of reconciliation on Saturday. The newly elevated parishioners were received into this ministry after a four-hour workshop on lay pastoral healing, and receiving a special necklace identifying them as extraordinary lay people. “It’s great that everyone has a little job to do,”... Read More

New Diocesan Study: Marital Issues The Number One Cause Of Divorce

November 7, 2018 by  
Filed under Parish Life

  A shocking and controversial new study out today by the Archdiocese of Los Angeles found that a vast majority of divorces are caused by marital issues. “Our figures undeniably show that a more than average amount of divorces in the United States have been the consequence of married couple not liking each other enough to want to remain married,” Archdiocese representative Kirby McClintock told the press, adding that the study was a particular... Read More

Breaking: Your Side Will Win The Midterm Elections Today Because Of Your Comment On A Facebook Post

November 6, 2018 by  
Filed under Politics

  In what many are calling a spectacular turn of events, pollsters are now saying that the midterm election today will be won by your side because of a single, passionate comment you wrote on a friend’s Facebook post close to one month ago. “I was a little drunk when I wrote that comment two months ago. In fact, I didn’t even remember writing it until a friend brought it up today. And I gotta be honest—two months old, but the comment still... Read More

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