Gun-Toting, Covid-19 Infected Murder Hornets Enter The U.S.

May 11, 2020 by  
Filed under Parish Life, Uncategorized

Known by many in Asia as the “buzzing angel of death,” the Gun-Toting, Covid-19 Infected Murder Hornet has officially made its way into the United States.

The hornet, known to terrorize and kill thousands of people a year, have for decades brandished assault riffles as they buzzed around metropolitan cities. But researchers at the St. Dominic of Silos Institute for Learning are now saying that the new bread of Gun-Toting Murder Hornet has contracted Covid-19 and “they’re not wearing masks.”

“I for one don’t think this is good news,” Debra Pierce, a researcher at St. Dominics, told EOTT. “The fact that they not only stung, but that they also carried guns as they did it, was enough to scare people for some twenty years now. But the fact that they now have been infected by Covid-19 is just not good news.”

Pierce went on to point out that the Murder Hornets do not wear masks even at grocery stores, though they know full well that they have Covid and that they are asymptomatic.

“Although we still need to sift through the data to make sure, we do believe that the Gun-Toting, Covid-19 Infected Murder Hornet are also somehow White Nationalists, though they’ve only just arrived to the U.S. We believe that they’re also able to transform into chihuahua-sized rats or members of the media, which is sometimes very hard to distinguish.