31 NFL Head Coaches Face Possible Firings For Not Drafting Openly Gay Defensive End Michael Sam

July 23, 2014 by  
Filed under Political

New York, NY–According to reports coming from the National Football League today, 31 NFL head coaches are facing possible firings after intolerantly deciding to pass over mediocre 24-year-old Defensive End Michael Sam. “We cannot and will not tolerate intolerance in the National Football League,” NFL commissioner Roger Goodell told the press this morning. “Therefore, we have decided to suspend every coach that passed on this, at best, second-rate... Read More

Mosul Muslims Delight Christian Neighbors with “One-Eyed Willy” Smiley Faces

July 19, 2014 by  
Filed under Political

Mosul, IRAQ––The Western Media is reporting a growing new trend in Iraq’s ancient city of Mosul, showing the comradery between its Muslim and Christian inhabitants: a playful bit of graffiti spray-painted on a growing number of Christian homes. “The symbol clearly represents the character of One-Eyed Willy, the legendary pirate whose treasure is sought by the charming rascals we know as the Goonies,” said MSNBC correspondent Brian Fisher, from a... Read More

God Apparently Hates Brazil

July 8, 2014 by  
Filed under Political

Kingdom of Heaven––Speaking from His Eternal Throne of Cherubim, God the Creator of all that is visible and invisible confirmed today that while His Love for all mankind is as boundless as the sand on the seashore, He is “not a fan” of Brazil.   “From the beautiful beaches of its coast along the Atlantic to its lush rain forest surrounding the Amazon River, the Almighty harbors a deep and serious hatred for the country of Brazil,”... Read More

A Catholic’s Guide To The World Cup

June 12, 2014 by  
Filed under Political

Spain: Spain is currently the strongest team in world. This is largely due to the fact that 76% of the country consider themselves Catholic. Speed and agility is a trademark of the Spaniard and was best exhibited during the battle of Lepanto in October of 1571, commanded by Don John of Austria, the illegitimate son of the Holy Roman Emperor Charles I of Spain. They have been on an immense roll ever since their defeat of the Muslims and they show no signs of... Read More

Peace Breaks Out In Israel Moments After Magic Olive Tree Planted

June 9, 2014 by  
Filed under Political

VATICAN–Just moments after Israeli President Shimon Peres and his Palestinian counterpart Mahmoud Abbas helped Pope Francis plant an Olive Tree in the Vatican Garden yesterday, the Jewish news outlet The Fiddler reported that peace had broken out in Israel. Upon hearing the news, Pope Francis told Israeli and Palestinian leaders “I told you so. I told you so. Didn’t I tell you this was a magic tree?” Surrounded by Palestinians and... Read More

Next Page »