Planned Oklahoma City Black Mass Stirring Controversy With Schismatic Satanist Group

September 15, 2014 by  
Filed under Political

Oklahoma City, OK–The black mass scheduled for September 21 in Oklahoma City is stirring lots of controversy with traditional minded Satanist, The Oklahoma City Satanist Weekly is reporting. The open invitation “black mass” scheduled to be held at the Civic Center Music Hall is sold-out, but one schismatic Satanic group is calling the upcoming black mass a “sacrilege” against the Prince of Darkness. Anthony Williams, the leader of the schismatic... Read More

St. Patrick’s Day Drunks And Gluttons Afraid Inclusion Of Gay Group At Parade Will Make Mockery Of Feast Day

September 11, 2014 by  
Filed under Political

New York, NY–The nation’s St. Patrick’s day drunks and gluttons expressed outrage this week after learning that a gay group would be allowed to march in this year’s St. Patrick’s Day parade. Stating that a gay group being allowed to march at the St. Patrick’s Day parade would make a mockery of the Church, New York resident and perpetually drunk Catholic Jonathan Fold slobberingly announced today that he would be skipping the parade altogether... Read More

Dolan, Jenky To Settle Dispute Over Sheen Remains In Octagon

September 8, 2014 by  
Filed under Political

A verbal battle between two Catholic leaders over the body of legendary Archbishop Fulton Sheen has put the former television personality’s sainthood campaign on hiatus. The bishop of Peoria,  Illinois, Bishop Daniel Jenky, has been working to beatify Sheen for some time, but all that came to an unexpected hiatus this week when Cardinal Timothy Dolan of New York reportedly told Jenky to “Back up before you gets smacked the heck up.” In a letter... Read More

USCCB Sword Swallowing Challenge Raising Little Money, Causing Terrible Injuries

August 20, 2014 by  
Filed under Political

You’ve seen all the USCCB Sword Swallowing Challenge videos by now. Everyone from Catholic celebrities like The Curt Jester writer Jeff Miller, Fr. Robert Barron, and Jeff Cavins, to your friends have posted videos of themselves slowly dropping swords down their throats to help raise money for the USCCB. Roughly a hundred sword swallowing videos have helped raise more than $20 for the USCCB since July 29, but for some, watching unqualified people... Read More

Pope Francis Spends First Day In Korea Wondering Whether He’s In The Good Or Bad Korea

August 14, 2014 by  
Filed under Political

Seoul, Good Korea–The pope read a 10-minute speech in English at the Presidential office in Seoul, noting that the name “South Korea” was not distinct enough from “the other one” so as to help westerners remember which of the two is the bad one. Although he did not directly mention North Korea, the references were clear, with his speech following an address by South Korean President Park Geun-hye, who dedicated most of her message slamming... Read More

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