Cardinal Kaspar Opposes Resettlement Of Traditionalist Refugees In Home Diocese

Cardinal Walter Kaspar’s anger over resettlement of ultra-traditionalist priests into his dioceses took a new turn Thursday as a growing number of German... Read More


Vatican Press Office Officially Announces All Phone Lines in Vatican To Be Disconnected For Remainder Of Pontificate

VATICAN––The Vatican Press Office Director Father Federico Lombardi issued a statement to the media today concerning Pope Francis’ recent telephone call to a divorced and remarried Argentine woman, in which he supposedly gave... Read More

Credit: Malacañang Photo Bureau

Pope Francis Says Women Can Have Abortions During Year Of Mercy, MSNBC Reports

Photo Credit: Malacañang Photo Bureau Pope Francis announced Tuesday that he will allow Roman Catholic women to have as many abortions as they want during the upcoming Holy Year of Mercy, MSNBC is reporting. According to MSNBC, Francis said... Read More

Pope Francis To Allow Contraception For Rabbits, Media Reporting

Just days after Pope Francis made statements supporting the Church’s ban on artificial means of birth control, media outlets from across the globe are now reporting that the “progressive” pope has finally overturned the... Read More

Image: WolfgangStuck

Leaked Documents Reveal Vatican Officials Blew Entire Peter’s Pence On Beanie Babies

Image: WolfgangStuck   The Vatican’s leaks scandal intensified Tuesday after a book detailing the millions of euros Vatican officials used to purchase Beanie Babies and in-app Clash of Clans upgrades was published. Although “Merchants... Read More

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Man Dressed As Tabernacle At Halloween Party Ignored; Is Moved To Corner Of Room

According to reports from several eyewitnesses moments ago, 27-year-old Emmanuel Dickens, who showed up to a Halloween party dressed as his favorite tabernacle,... Read More

Pope’s New Crossguard Lightsaber Crosier Stirring Up Controversy With Liturgical Purists

VATICAN — Vatican television took the liturgical world by storm last Friday by giving Catholics their very first official look at a short teaser trailer from... Read More

Catholic Cyborgs Being Developed To Help Fill Churches

The Congregation for the Development of Mechanical Persons (CDMP) announced today that they have successfully developed their first batch of cyborg parishioners... Read More

"Why do I have to say it? You know I appreciate you."

Female Parishioners Upset That Men Not Also Being Asked To “Set The Altar” Before Mass

Baker, OR–Female Parishioners at St. John Bosco Parish in Baker, Oregon have sent a letter to Bishop Liam Cary accusing their pastor Fr. Maurice Alvarez... Read More

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Parish Life


St. Valentine Makes Impassioned Plea For Safe Return Of Kidnapped Feast Day

In a heart-wrenching moment on the Today Show earlier this morning, 3rd... Read More

U.S. Bishops Petition Holy See To Mandate Hand Squeeze Following Doxology

At a press conference today in the nation’s capital, Cardinal Emeritus... Read More


Dominican Still Wearing White Months After Labor Day

Mr. Blackwell’s annual worst dressed list came out yesterday, naming... Read More

Relic Of The True Apple Eaten By Adam And Eve Being Sold On Ebay For $15

The International Network—An item placed on Ebay last weekend has relic... Read More

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Libs & Trads

Christendom College Student Won’t Shut Up With The Latin Already

"Colligium Christendum bonum scholasticum est."
Roger McNerney

“Colligium Christendum in Virginium est. Christendum bonum scholasticum est.”Ben... Read More

St. Clare Press Ready To Publish New Non-confrontational Translation Of Bible

Bible roses

Cincinnati, OH––Catholic book publisher and distributer St. Clare Press announced... Read More

New Evidence Reveals The Mass Was Founded In 1965

Los Angeles, CA–A Loyola Marymount professor Wednesday found what he is considering... Read More

Possible Liturgical Wreckage Spotted In Search For Missing Tabernacle

Austin, TX–Norwegian has become one of the first men to reach the area where... Read More

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