New Protestant “Achilles’ Heel Free Bible” Omits Matthew 16:18, Book of James

Protestant book publisher Branch Of A Branch Publishing announced today the publication of their new Achilles’ Heel Free Bible, which is said to... Read More

Mass

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Folk Mass Band Upset Over Masses Interrupting Their Concerts

Yonkers, NY––Blake Jennings, lead guitarist at St. Therese Parish in Yonkers, New York is outraged over what he calls “years of concerts being interrupted by the Mass.” The 56-year-old accountant and father of three has played... Read More

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Church Packed As Fr. Bieber Says First Mass At Our Lady Of Perpetual Crunches

Image: AdamSundana Fr. Justin Bieber cleansed his soul and the souls of thousands of concertgoers turned parishioners over the weekend after turning his concert into a vigil Mass. The 20-year-old singer and newly ordained Jesuit, who is currently... Read More

TOSTITOS

Tostitos Fiesta Pentecost Mass One Of Many New Church Sponsorships

Alameda, CA–Following a string of church closures around the country, St. Stephen Parish in Alameda, California has announced plans to have their upcoming Pentecost Mass sponsored by Tostitos. The move comes just months after Los Angeles... Read More

Orchestra

Maestro Who Conducts Symphony With Back Facing Audience Labelled Radical Traditional

Albuquerque, New Mexico––After conducting his first symphony since being named Maestro of the New Mexico Philharmonic, Chinese-born Li Wei Chen has been under heavy scrutiny from longtime patrons for conducting Beethoven’s famous... Read More

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Libs & Trads

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Notre Dame Linebacker Duped Into Playing For Fake Catholic University

South Bend, IN––According to sources within the University of Notre Dame last week, star linebacker Manti Te’o was “duped” into attending... Read More

PRIEST

Jesuit Celebrates Halloween By Dressing Up In “Priest Costume”

Cincinnati, OH––Hoping to surprise his family and friends at Holy Trinity Parish’s annual Halloween Breakfast this morning, local Jesuit Walter Allen... Read More

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Liberal Catholic University To Replace Church With Massive Cafeteria

Miami, FL––To help accommodate the diverse palates of Mater Dei University’s large Catholic student-body, President Jon Heinz has announced plans to... Read More

Report: LA Religious Education Congress Nothing But Big Fat Load Of Bull

Despite positive reviews from the committee overseeing this year’s Los Angeles Religious Education Congress, a new report out today by EOTT found that virtually... Read More

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Vatican

Francis Won’t Stop Posting Pictures Of Meager, Humble Meals On Instagram

Pope Francis has launched his new Instagram account with a comment in... Read More

Francis

Pope Francis Bows To Refrigerator, Houseplant

VATICAN CITY–As head of state at the Vatican, as well as leader... Read More

Pope Francis Washes Feet Of Eight Men, One Woman, A Muslim, Ferret, And A Double Amputee

VATICAN–Pope Francis visited the Don Gnocchi Center in Rome today... Read More

Dr

Local Doctor Tells Patient to Stop Being “Obsessed” with his Cancer

Minneapolis, MN––Dr. Simon Townsend, in an interview with United... Read More

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Politics

California Drought Forcing Churches To Ration Baptisms

In response to California’s four-year drought, California Governor Jerry Brown... Read More

Pope’s Address to Syrians in Lebanon: “This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things!”

Pope Benedict XVI speaks on the podium upon his arrival at Beirut's airport

Beirut, Lebanon––Speaking to tens of thousands of Middle Easterners in Lebanon... Read More

Pope Francis Spends First Day In Korea Wondering Whether He’s In The Good Or Bad Korea

Seoul, Good Korea–The pope read a 10-minute speech in English at the Presidential... Read More

Planned Parenthood Set To Unveil New Line At Fashion Week

EIFEL

PARIS––The city of Paris has come to a standstill with the anticipation of next... Read More

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