Kanye West Announces Bid For The Papacy

Kanye West performing at Lollapalooza on April 3, 2011 in Chile.
Photo credit: rodrigoferrari

Kanye West performing at Lollapalooza on April 3, 2011 in Chile.Photo credit: rodrigoferrari   Kanye West has reportedly announced plans to run for... Read More

Politics

Marty Haugen Music To Be Outlawed Under New Geneva Convention Resolution

Geneva, Switzerland–New guidelines set down by the international community during the fifth Geneva Convention this week has extensively defined the basic, spiritual wartime rights of the Church Militant by outlawing all Marty Haugen music... Read More

California Drought Forcing Churches To Ration Baptisms

In response to California’s four-year drought, California Governor Jerry Brown has ordered the country’s first-ever mandatory baptism restrictions. Brown’s executive order mandates that all churches in California cut back baptisms... Read More

God Apparently Hates Brazil

Kingdom of Heaven––Speaking from His Eternal Throne of Cherubim, God the Creator of all that is visible and invisible confirmed today that while His Love for all mankind is as boundless as the sand on the seashore, He is “not... Read More

Lila Rose Goes Undercover As Fetus

In an astounding show of acting dexterity, Lila Rose, President of the anti-abortion organization, Live Action, went undercover as a fetus at an area Planned Parenthood this week. Rose, best known for going undercover as a 15 year old pregnant... Read More

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Mass

Lazy Man Not Helping To Put Up Kneeler

West Bloomfield, MI––A source out of St. Ulric Catholic Church in West Bloomfield, Michigan confirmed Sunday that parishioner Alexander Ramsey had not lifted... Read More

Image: John Snyder

Elderly Woman Mumbling Words Of Consecration From Pew

Parishioners at the Catholic parish of St. Adelaide let out a sigh of relief during Mass this morning after parishioner Veronica Hough validated the consecration... Read More

"Why do I have to say it? You know I appreciate you."

Female Parishioners Upset That Men Not Also Being Asked To “Set The Altar” Before Mass

Baker, OR–Female Parishioners at St. John Bosco Parish in Baker, Oregon have sent a letter to Bishop Liam Cary accusing their pastor Fr. Maurice Alvarez... Read More

Monday Morning Priest Would’ve Said Mass Completely Different

Denver, CO––After having attended Mass yesterday evening, Denver native and layman Jeffrey Baines went on his public access television show Clerical Primetime... Read More

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Vatican

Pope Francis Says Forces Of Gravity And Electromagnetism Are Real

VATICAN––In a stunning break with centuries of Catholic teaching,... Read More

Martians from the northern quadrant of sector 490-3t protesting.

[News From The Future] Martians Protest During Third Vatican Council

Martians from the northern quadrant of sector 490-3t protesting. New Calcedonia,... Read More

Cardinal Kasper Adds Three Sacraments

Vatican City––Citing the need for the Church to “update herself... Read More

PopeBreakswithOneDirection

Pope Shares Birthday Breakfast With Boy Band One Direction

VATICAN–Five members of the English-Irish pop boy band One Direction... Read More

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Libs & Trads

National Catholic Reporter Beats Out Eye Of The Tiber For Best Catholic News Parody

KODAK

Los Angeles, CA––Winners of the 10th annual National Catholic Awards were announced... Read More

Mystery Priest At Car Accident Revealed, Heralded As Courageous Man Who Wore Clerics In Public

MysteryPriest

The “Missouri Miracle” mystery priest who ministered to Katie Lentz... Read More

SSPX Excommunicates Renegade Bishop For Installing Bishops Without Approval

SSPX

Peoria, AZ – SSPX Arizona Bishop Gerald Leif confirmed Thursday that he has installed... Read More

San Francisco Catholics Petition God To Remove Jesus From Trinity

In an unprecedented move, more than 100 prominent San Francisco based Roman Catholics... Read More

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