New Poll Shows 86% Of Nominal Catholic Women Not Sure How To Outwhore Last Year’s Halloween Costume

Los Angeles, CA––As part of an effort to find out how some nominal Catholic women were preparing to outwhore last year’s costumes, more than... Read More

Mass

consecration

Quick-Thinking Parishioners Rush Altar To Assist Lone Priest

Culver City, CA––Parishioners of St. Raymond Catholic Church in Culver City, California were forced to jump into action during Mass early Monday morning when it appeared that only one priest would be available for the consecration. According... Read More

HazelDeltaTrinity

Folk Mass Band Upset Over Masses Interrupting Their Concerts

Yonkers, NY––Blake Jennings, lead guitarist at St. Therese Parish in Yonkers, New York is outraged over what he calls “years of concerts being interrupted by the Mass.” The 56-year-old accountant and father of three has played... Read More

$10

Man Drops $10 In Donation Basket Like He’s Some Kind Of Beverly Hills Millionaire

Atherton, CA––In what many witnesses are calling “a stunning act of generosity,” a mysterious parishioner was spotted placing a $10 bill into the donation basket at the St. Mark’s Catholic Church 9:00 am Mass as though... Read More

Eucharistic_Minister_BN

Colorado Priest To Appoint Entire Parish Eucharistic Ministers

Loveland, CO––Saint Perpetua Parish Priest Father Nick Farley announced Friday that he would be appointing every single parishioner at his church an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion. “In due respect to the amount of Extraordinary... Read More

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Political

Peace Breaks Out In Israel Moments After Magic Olive Tree Planted

VATICAN–Just moments after Israeli President Shimon Peres and his Palestinian counterpart Mahmoud Abbas helped Pope Francis plant an Olive Tree in the Vatican... Read More

Thurible

New California Law Forces Parishes To Switch To E-Thuribles

Sacramento, CA––A new  ban on thurible smoke will take effect in all California churches beginning in 2014 State officials are now confirming. The ban, which... Read More

IAIAIAIAIAIA

Catholic Democrat Makes Holy Hour Before The Real Presence Of Obama

Ardent Catholic Democrat Gordon Frey arrived at the Church of the Sacred Heart of Obama for his scheduled Holy Hour earlier monday morning. 56-year-old Frey... Read More

Mosul Muslims Delight Christian Neighbors with “One-Eyed Willy” Smiley Faces

Mosul, IRAQ––The Western Media is reporting a growing new trend in Iraq’s ancient city of Mosul, showing the comradery between its Muslim and Christian inhabitants:... Read More

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Libs & Trads

Report: Some 2nd Century Roman Christians Hated Latin Mass Because It Was Said In The Vernacular

ROME–A letter written by an anonymous early Roman Christian was... Read More

Pope Encourages Women To Reveal Breasts In Sistine Chapel, Feminist Newspaper Reports

VATICAN––“He is 77, celibate, and the Vicar of Christ; a role which,... Read More

Gaymarriage

New Poll Shows 50% Of Catholics Disagree With Jesus’ Stance On Gay Marriage

Novi, MI––A new poll out today shows that about half of Catholics... Read More

PHOTO: J. Scott Applewhite / AP Photo

Nuns On Bus Scour Ohio In Search Of Misplaced Veils

OHIO––A group of Catholic nuns began a 1,000 mile bus tour through... Read More

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Vatican

“Pope Literally Meant A Flamboyantly Decorated Lobby,” Vatican Clarifies

Flamboyant Lobby

VATICAN–Being interviewed via Skype hours ago, Spokesman for the Vatican Press... Read More

Pope Shares Birthday Breakfast With Boy Band One Direction

PopeBreakswithOneDirection

VATICAN–Five members of the English-Irish pop boy band One Direction helped... Read More

Vatican Picks Up Free Agent Tim Tebow

VATICAN––Last year, after being released by his second NFL team, Tim Tebow sat... Read More

Pope Francis Not Sure What To Make Of His Papacy Thus Far

Francis

VATICAN CITY––It was announced earlier this afternoon that His Holiness Pope... Read More

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