Brawl Erupts At Synod

Image: Wolfgang Stuck

Image: Wolfgang Stuck A massive brawl broke out Thursday morning at the Synod during the 90-hour opening address by Hungarian Cardinal Péter Erdo, witnesses... Read More


California Lawmakers Pass New Opposite-Sex Marriage Ban

SACRAMENTO–New marriages involving people of the opposite sex will be banned in California under a new bill passed by the democratic-led state legislature on Wednesday, and those couples already married will have to register as “domestic... Read More

Jets QB Controversy

As Syrian Conflict Intensifies, New Jersey Man Urges God To End Jets Quarterback Controversy

East Rutherford, New Jersey––As U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry effectively set out a case for missile strikes on Syria this morning, New York resident Alan Jones has intensified his prayers for God Almighty to resolve the quarterback... Read More

A Catholic’s Guide To The World Cup

Spain: Spain is currently the strongest team in world. This is largely due to the fact that 76% of the country consider themselves Catholic. Speed and agility is a trademark of the Spaniard and was best exhibited during the battle of Lepanto... Read More

Cardinals Distancing Themselves From Pope Ahead Of Next Papal Election

Ahead of the next Papal Elections, many Cardinals have begun to distance themselves from the Pope, whose approval rating amongst traditional leaning Catholics is at an all-time low. As these Cardinals are beginning to focus on their possible... Read More

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Maestro Who Conducts Symphony With Back Facing Audience Labelled Radical Traditional

Albuquerque, New Mexico––After conducting his first symphony since being named Maestro of the New Mexico Philharmonic, Chinese-born Li Wei Chen has been under... Read More


Family Fighting For Good Seats At Christmas Mass With The Zeal Of 12th Century Crusaders

Los Angeles, CA––Reporting that he and his family had been forced from their aisle seat just minutes after acquiring it, 48-year-old Brenden O’Malley... Read More


One Million Youth Visit Rio To See Pope On Large Screen

Rio de Janerio, Brazil––Media sources confirm that nearly one million Catholic young people from nearly every country in the world put aside their lives and... Read More


Man Found Dead After Botched Homily

A man whose body was found in a pew at St. Cecila’s Church Friday died from blunt trauma to the heart, the San Bernardino County medical examiners office... Read More

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Parish Life

Local Catholic To Substitute Medium Deep Dish Stuffed-Crust Pizza For Meat On Fridays During Lent

Local Catholic Ronny Edison announced today at a local Papa John’s... Read More

Barron Wondering Why Bad Things Happen To Good People

Just hours after being named auxiliary bishop to the Archdiocese of Los... Read More


Mystery Priest At Car Accident Revealed, Heralded As Courageous Man Who Wore Clerics In Public

The “Missouri Miracle” mystery priest who ministered to Katie... Read More

Radio Pledge Drive Sadly Best Part of Catholic Station’s Programming

Sadly admitting that last quarter’s Catholic radio pledge drive was... Read More

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Libs & Trads

Daylight Savings News: Sedevacantist Family Moves Clocks Back Seven Centuries

After having set the family clock back seven centuries for daylight savings this... Read More

President Carter Says Mathematicians Should Allow Square Pegs To Fit In Round Holes

WASHINGTON––In an interview with CNN’s Erin Burnett, former President... Read More

Notre Dame Linebacker Duped Into Playing For Fake Catholic University


South Bend, IN––According to sources within the University of Notre Dame last... Read More

New Study: Sedevacantists Feeling Our Pain…A Lot

Sede Vacante

Oyster Bay Cove, NY–A new study out today by the Society of St. Pius V reveals... Read More

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