BREAKING: New England Priest May Have Deflated Parishioner Enthusiasm During Homily

Things are beginning to get interesting in New England after Archbishop Sean Patrick O’Malley met with the media yesterday and said he knew nothing... Read More

Libs & Trads

"Remember when you tried to sell me that indulgence?"

Protestant Friend Knows All He Needs To Know About Catholic Church

Orange County, CA–Area Protestant Ezekial Atkinson reported earlier this morning that he didn’t need a lecture on Church teaching because he “already knows everything he needs to know about the Catholic Church.”... Read More

Sara Matson attempts to become one with her creator

Lapsed Catholic Confirms She Is Still Spiritual

Sara Matson attempts to become one with her creator Sherman Oaks, CA–27-year-old Sara Matson confirmed to friends yesterday that she was indeed still very spiritual despite no longer attending Mass. Matson, a World Religions teacher at... Read More

Solemn High Requiem Mass Held For The Spirit Of Vatican II

  CINCINNATI, OH- A Solemn High Requiem Mass was held Thursday at St. Martura Church in downtown Cincinnati for the Spirit of Vatican II, aged 52. After suffering a progressively debilitating illness for the last ten years of its life... Read More

MysteryPriest

Mystery Priest At Car Accident Revealed, Heralded As Courageous Man Who Wore Clerics In Public

The “Missouri Miracle” mystery priest who ministered to Katie Lentz following a head-on crash with another vehicle came forward yesterday morning and revealed himself on the National Catholic Register. Today we learn more about... Read More

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Mass

Z

Fr. Zuhlsdorf Installs Electric Altar Rails; 2 Women Injured

Madison, WI––It is being reported that the two unidentified Catholics who rushed the altar this morning to assist Fr. John Zuhlsdorf during the Mass were injured... Read More

Cantor

“Why Ain’t Nobody Singin’ Back the Responsory?” Lector Wondering. “My Arms Is Raised Up High Like They Supposed To Be”

Knoxville, TN––Lector at St. Hildegund Catholic Church in Nashville, Tennessee Helen Banks is currently questioning why parishioners are neglecting to sing... Read More

Hundreds of church-goers stamped into Saint Theresa Parish on Black Friday, 2011, just moments before four are tragically trampled to death.

Thousands Camp Outside Churches In Anticipation Of Black Friday Masses

Hundreds of church-goers stamped into Saint Theresa Parish on Black Friday, 2011, just moments before four are tragically trampled to death. As anticipated, thousands... Read More

Android Priests Being Developed To Help Say Mass, Hear Confessions

Prototype clergydroid Fr. SRT4-11392 celebrating its first wedding ceremony. Vatican––The Vatican has confirmed reports today that an agreement has been reached... Read More

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Politics

Jets QB Controversy

As Syrian Conflict Intensifies, New Jersey Man Urges God To End Jets Quarterback Controversy

East Rutherford, New Jersey––As U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry... Read More

31 NFL Head Coaches Face Possible Firings For Not Drafting Openly Gay Defensive End Michael Sam

New York, NY–According to reports coming from the National Football... Read More

Incognito

Benedictines Suspend Monk For Bullying Novice

Miami, FL–Benedictines from around the country are calling on the... Read More

American Atheists President David Silverman

Atheists Sue To Remove Letters “G”, “O”, And “D” From Alphabet

American Atheists President David Silverman Berkley, CA––The civil... Read More

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Vatican

Pope Francis To Allow Contraception For Rabbits, Media Reporting

Just days after Pope Francis made statements supporting the Church’s ban... Read More

Pope Francis Not Sure How To Make Sense Of What He Just Said

VATICAN–Speaking to pilgrims during his weekly Wednesday audience yesterday,... Read More

Pope Francis Sneaks Out Of Vatican At Night In Disguise To Help Poor, Fight Crime

PAPA

  VATICAN–A recent interview with the Papal Alomner Archbishop Konrad... Read More

Germany Abdicates World Cup Championship; Argentina To Assume Title

BRAZIL––The German National Team today stunned soccer fans across the globe... Read More

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