Prisoners Break Free From Lunch With Pope To Return To Prison

Image_Michael Coghlan   Two prisoners in Bologna, Italy escaped during their lunch with Pope Francis yesterday, reportedly fleeing back to their jail... Read More

Mass

Rookie Monk Out For Advent Season With High Tonsure Sprain

St. Louis, MO–– St. Louis rookie Augustinian Brother Ambrose will be sidelined two to three weeks with a high tonsure sprain, The Augustinian Daily is reporting. Ambrose was injured during last Sunday’s Vesper hour after bowing too... Read More

Quick-Thinking Parishioners Rush Altar To Assist Lone Priest

Culver City, CA––Parishioners of St. Raymond Catholic Church in Culver City, California were forced to jump into action during Mass early Monday morning when it appeared that only one priest would be available for the consecration. According... Read More

No Laity Found To Bring Up Gifts To Altar; Consecration Delayed Two Hours

  Pastor of St. Dwenden Catholic Church Ben Gregory was forced to postpone the consecration for nearly two hours earlier this morning after lead usher Kevin Sarkosy was unsuccessful in locating anyone willing to bring up the bread... Read More

SSPX Chess Player Creates Bishop Pieces Without World Chess Federation Approval

Image: Benjamin Fishman Society of St. Pius X chess grandmaster Larcel Mafebvre has turned four of his pieces into bishops without approval from the World Chess Federation, officials have confirmed. “Mr. Mafebvre has, without approval... Read More

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Libs & Trads

Nation’s Catholics Demand Better Catechesis To Better Understand What Teachings To Ignore

Washington, DC––Thousands of the nation’s ill-catechized Catholics protested outside the USCCB headquarters in Washington, DC last night, demanding better... Read More

Scientists Test Effects of Novus Ordo On Longtime Sedevacantist

Dr. William Manders interviewed about Novus Ordo testing on Sedevacantist. Los Angeles, CA–Attempting to explain the physical and emotional toll that an average Sedevacantist... Read More

Notre Dame Linebacker Duped Into Playing For Fake Catholic University

South Bend, IN––According to sources within the University of Notre Dame last week, star linebacker Manti Te’o was “duped” into attending... Read More

Mystery Priest At Car Accident Revealed, Heralded As Courageous Man Who Wore Clerics In Public

The “Missouri Miracle” mystery priest who ministered to Katie Lentz following a head-on crash with another vehicle came forward yesterday morning and... Read More

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Parish Life

Cohabiting Couple Careful To Observe Fish On Fridays

Local Catholic couple Jenny Barkley and David Rondo, who have been cohabiting... Read More

Man On Catholic Match About Ready To Message-Bomb 130 Women

Friends of longtime Catholic Match subscriber Chuck-50012 told authorities... Read More

Priest Accidentally Leaves Lapel Mic On In Confessional; Your Darkest, Deepest Secrets Revealed To Everyone

Your Parish–It was reported today that your parish pastor Father... Read More

Search Intensifies For Missing Reverence During Mass

Sierra Nevada–More than five dozen searchers scoured the Sierra... Read More

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Politics

Pope’s Peace Doves Attacked By Metaphors

VATICAN–In a gesture at the Vatican’s annual “Caravan of Peace,”... Read More

Audience Of Undecideds Patiently Await Good Zinger To Decide Their Vote

Mike Segar/Reuters After patiently enduring a 90-minute presidential debate last... Read More

Congregation For Divine Worship Rules Against FSSP Novus Ordo Ban

Image: Staselnik A Congregation for Divine Worship panel has unanimously ruled against... Read More

New California Law Forces Parishes To Switch To E-Thuribles

Sacramento, CA––A new  ban on thurible smoke will take effect in all California... Read More

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