Vatican Invites Hugh Hefner To Join Commission To Study Priestly Celibacy

Ricardo André Frantz

Ricardo André Frantz   Just days after the U.N. Elected Saudi Arabia to its Women’s Rights Commission, the Vatican announced this week that Pope... Read More


Vatican Approves New Emoji Translation Of Mass

The Vatican announced today that Pope Francis has approved a new emoji translation of the Mass to help young adults more actively follow along during church services. “We’ve found that most young adults can no longer read complete sentences... Read More


Man Found Dead After Botched Homily

A man whose body was found in a pew at St. Cecila’s Church Friday died from blunt trauma to the heart, the San Bernardino County medical examiners office found after autopsies performed this morning. “We can’t say much at... Read More


Fr. Zuhlsdorf Installs Electric Altar Rails; 2 Women Injured

Madison, WI––It is being reported that the two unidentified Catholics who rushed the altar this morning to assist Fr. John Zuhlsdorf during the Mass were injured after they were shocked by electric altar rails installed by the priest.... Read More

Android Priests Being Developed To Help Say Mass, Hear Confessions

Prototype clergydroid Fr. SRT4-11392 celebrating its first wedding ceremony. Vatican––The Vatican has confirmed reports today that an agreement has been reached with the International Federation of Robotics (IFR) to begin development of... Read More

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Supreme Court Demands Apology From God For Sodom And Gomorrah

Just hours after ruling that all Americans, no matter their sexual orientation, can now legally marry the people they love, the U.S. Supreme Court went forward... Read More

Image: Wiki Commons

Fr. Frank Pavone Accidentally Named Supreme Court Nominee After Obama Inadvertently Picks Up Wrong File From Desk

Image: Wiki Commons Catholic priest and pro-life activist Fr. Frank Pavone was accidentally made President Obama’s choice to fill the vacant Supreme Court... Read More

Atheists Sue To Remove Letters “G”, “O”, And “D” From Alphabet

The civil liberties organization American Atheists has sued the U.S. government to remove the letters “G,” “O,” and “D” from... Read More

Former Vice President Joe Biden attending Pope Francis' Installation Mass.

[Breaking] Biden Steps Down As VP Hours After Becoming Pro-Life

Former Vice President Joe Biden attending Pope Francis’ Installation Mass. Washington, DC––Vice President Joe Biden announced today that he was stepping... Read More

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Libs & Trads


Mystery Priest At Car Accident Revealed, Heralded As Courageous Man Who Wore Clerics In Public

The “Missouri Miracle” mystery priest who ministered to Katie... Read More

"The only question that remains is what name he shall take?"

Report: Mahony’s Pretty Much Got This Pope Thing In The Bag

“The only question that remains is what name he shall take.” VATICAN... Read More

Pope Encourages Women To Reveal Breasts In Sistine Chapel, Feminist Newspaper Reports

VATICAN––“He is 77, celibate, and the Vicar of Christ; a role which,... Read More

SSPV Apologize After Drone Targeting Novus Ordo Mass Accidentally Dropped On Taliban

Hoboken, NJ––An SSPV drone strike has accidentally killed three... Read More

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Parish Life

Man In Search Of Answers Closes Eyes, Flips Through Bible, Says “Stop,” “Left Page,” “Right Column”


Bowling Green, KY––It was reported earlier this morning that 31-year-old Alvin... Read More

Patriots Head Coach Bill Belichick Pleased With How Deal With The Devil Coming Along

Image: Keith Allison

  Image: Keith Allison In what many are calling the most exciting deal a human... Read More

Women May Now Have Their Feet Washed And Pedicured At Holy Thursday Mass, Pope Says

Pope Francis has changed the rules for the Church’s Holy Thursday foot-washing... Read More

Report: Man Who’s Never Killed Anyone Or Anything Like That Doesn’t Need To Go To Confession

Pittsburgh, PA––A new report out today by area Catholic Marcus Dietrich’s conscience revealed... Read More

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