Ford Debuts New RAD-TRAD X9 Van

Van

  Just in time for back-to-homeschool, Ford’s roll-out of the new RAD-TRAD X9 is a nod toward its largest conversion van market segment: radical... Read More

Mass

Moments after riot police stormed the church to restore order in the pews.

Seating For Mass Turns Chaotic After Ushers Call In Sick

Moments after riot police stormed the church to restore order in the pews. Mass at St. Alphonsus Parish quickly turned chaotic earlier this morning after all eight ushers called in sick with the flu. 66-year-old Herman Wible, who one of the... Read More

Cantor

“Why Ain’t Nobody Singin’ Back the Responsory?” Lector Wondering. “My Arms Is Raised Up High Like They Supposed To Be”

Knoxville, TN––Lector at St. Hildegund Catholic Church in Nashville, Tennessee Helen Banks is currently questioning why parishioners are neglecting to sing the Responsory after clearly being given the cue to respond. “Why ain’t... Read More

DRUGS

Liturgical Dancer Tests Positive For Performance-Enhancing Drugs

It is being reported this morning that world-renowned liturgical dancer Doris Griffin has tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs. A USCCB spokesman said that trace amounts of an illegal substance were found in Griffin’s blood... Read More

ash

Area Catholic Preparing To Be Notified About Dirt On Forehead All Day Long

Watertown, MN––While receiving ashes on his forehead at St. Ignatius Catholic Church in Watertown, Minnesota early this morning, area Catholic Trevor Davis fervently prayed for patience to endure what he expected to be a “long day... Read More

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Parish Life

New Book About The Firsthand Accounts Of Medjugorje Visions Just 300 Blank Pages

Medjhead Press today released their much anticipated tell-all book, How do I Live With Myself, You Ask? by visionary Mirjana Soldo about her experience pretending... Read More

Students At Indiana University Even More Scared Now Knowing Dominican Praying On Campus

Just a day after students at Indiana University mistook a Dominican for a member of the Ku Klux Klan, students and members of the faculty have been placed on high... Read More

Rude, Ungrateful 9-Month-Old Crying All Throughout Mass

Billings, MT–In one of the most childish and ungrateful spectacles ever witnessed in St. Margaret Parish in Billings, Montana, 9-month-old Isabella Stone... Read More

Skinny Southern California Girl Who Fasted From Carbohydrates And Fatty Foods Not Ready To Give Up Her Lenten Fast

San Diego, CA–Despite having successfully fulfilled her Lenten fast from carbohydrates and fatty foods, skinny SoCal girl Amber Miller announced today that... Read More

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Vatican

Pope Emeritus Benedict Glances At Cover Of Time Magazine Again, Discreetly Wipes Tear From Eye

VATICAN–Sources close to the Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI reported... Read More

Bosnians Upset To Learn Madonna Concert In Medjugorje Performed By Imposter

  The Bosnian Times is reporting this morning that Medjugorje Mayor... Read More

Pope Francis To Raffle Off Papacy To Aid Poor

As spiritual leader of over 1.2 billion Catholics, Pope Francis has received... Read More

Image: Wikicommons

Francis Found Weeping In Vatican Men’s Restroom After Learning Of Bad Amoris Laetitia Reviews

Image: Wikicommons Sources confirmed Thursday that Pope Francis was found... Read More

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Politics

Film Review: Will The New Noah Movie Radically Depart From The Hyper-Environmentalist Themes As Seen In The Biblical Narrative?

Hollywood, CA––With the upcoming Noah movie directed by Darren Aronofsky due... Read More

U.S. Bishops Meet In Baltimore To Discuss Churches Providing Safe Spaces From Hostile Catholic Teachings

Image: nfutvol

Image: nfutvol The U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops met in Baltimore yesterday... Read More

Coexist Bumper Sticker Ushers In Era Of World Peace

Thanks to a Coexist bumper sticker spotted on the rear bumper of a local Toyota... Read More

Thousands Sign Petition Calling For Immediate Canonization Of Harambe

Animal rights activists have created an online petition asking the Congregation... Read More

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