Elderly Woman Mumbling Words Of Consecration From Pew

Image: John Snyder

Parishioners at the Catholic parish of St. Adelaide let out a sigh of relief during Mass this morning after parishioner Veronica Hough validated the consecration... Read More

Libs & Trads

theme_park

Müller To Build Vatican II Theme Park

VATICAN–Speaking to the press Wednesday afternoon, Prefect of the Congregation of the Doctrine of Faith Archbishop Gerhard Ludwig Müller announced plans to create the first ever Vatican II theme park. “We’re very thrilled... Read More

SSPX

SSPX Excommunicates Renegade Bishop For Installing Bishops Without Approval

Peoria, AZ – SSPX Arizona Bishop Gerald Leif confirmed Thursday that he has installed four bishops in spite of SSPX forbiddance. The move comes months after meetings collapsed between Bishop Leif and SSPX’s Superior General, Bernard Fellay.... Read More

Catholic Church Seemingly Reverses Apology to Galileo

Twenty two years after the historic “apology” of Pope John Paul II to Galileo in 1992, astronomers are beginning to question the apology’s sincerity. “The beauty of the Copernican solar system, and following it, that... Read More

Unimaginative Priest Celebrates Themeless Mass

San Francisco, CA–Citing a lack of time and energy, as well as feeling the “total absence of the liturgical muse,” local pastor Father Mike Conway this week spent close to no time at all considering a theme for this Sunday’s Mass.... Read More

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Vatican

Vatican Press Office Officially Announces All Phone Lines in Vatican To Be Disconnected For Remainder Of Pontificate

VATICAN––The Vatican Press Office Director Father Federico Lombardi issued a statement to the media today concerning Pope Francis’ recent telephone... Read More

Pope Excommunicates 95% Of Italian Men

Sibari, Calabria––Using his strongest language to date, Pope Francis told Italian Mafia members and those who look like mafia members on Saturday that they... Read More

Year of Terror

Pope Francis Names 2014 “Year Of Terror”

VATICAN––In his General Audience today, Pope Francis announced that he would be naming 2014 “the Year of Terror.” “Since it is difficult to... Read More

The winds of change blow off Francis' zucchetto

5 Memorable Moments From Francis’ First Year

  The winds of change blow off Francis’ zucchetto Pope Francis tweeted “Please pray for me” on his first anniversary as pontiff. A second... Read More

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Politics

CHS

Bombing Of St. Augustine High School Traced To Manicheans

Nashville, TN–Police officials reported that their investigation... Read More

Dolan, Jenky To Settle Dispute Over Sheen Remains In Octagon

A verbal battle between two Catholic leaders over the body of legendary... Read More

 Iraqi Christian Who Risks Life To Attend Mass Not Super Concerned About Bad Church Music Right Now

    Tel Keppe, Iraq–As Iraqi Christian Raghda Ablahad... Read More

Dr. Kermit Gosnell

Media Ignores Murder Trial of Abortionist who Severed Spines of Infants 19 Years After Their Birth

Dr. Kermit Gosnell Minneapolis, MN–The mainstream media is largely... Read More

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Parish Life

Ancient Manuscript Reveals Adam Had Midlife Crisis At Age 452

PAP

JERUSALEM–A recently discovered piece of papyrus unearthed by a Tel Aviv University... Read More

Uruguayan Pastor Bites Rival Priest During Mass

New York, NY—Just a day after Uruguay star Luis Suarez allegedly bit Italy defender... Read More

Francis Much Better Pope Than That Other Guy We Had, Area Nominal Catholic Reports

2Popes

Des Moines, IA––Telling his son that “This new pope guy is much better... Read More

Area Man Gives Himself Dispensation From Mass In Honor Of Solemnity Of NFL Week 1

Baton Rouge, LA–Baton Rouge Catholic Julian White announced early Saturday... Read More

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