New Evidence Reveals The Mass Was Founded In 1965

Los Angeles, CA–A Loyola Marymount professor Wednesday found what he is considering undeniable evidence of his theory that the Mass was founded... Read More

Mass

OfftotheSide

Man Dressed As Tabernacle At Halloween Party Ignored; Is Moved To Corner Of Room

Austin, TX–According to reports from several eyewitnesses moments ago, 27-year-old Austin man Emmanuel Dickens, who showed up to a Halloween party dressed as his favorite tabernacle, was promptly ignored and escorted to the corner of... Read More

photo: Gregory L. Tracy

Confused Parishioner Won’t Stop Accidently Saying “And Also With You”

photo: Gregory L. Tracy Hoboken, New Jersey––It is being reported today that Timothy Perkins of Our Lady of Fatima Catholic Church in Hoboken, New Jersey continually made the wrong responses at Mass, despite having the new laminated translation... Read More

Monday Morning Priest Would’ve Said Mass Completely Different

Denver, CO––After having attended Mass yesterday evening, Denver native and layman Jeffrey Baines went on his public access television show Clerical Primetime this morning to criticize his parish pastor Father Roger Manning of quitting... Read More

consecration

Quick-Thinking Parishioners Rush Altar To Assist Lone Priest

Culver City, CA––Parishioners of St. Raymond Catholic Church in Culver City, California were forced to jump into action during Mass early Monday morning when it appeared that only one priest would be available for the consecration. According... Read More

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Political

God Apparently Hates Brazil

Kingdom of Heaven––Speaking from His Eternal Throne of Cherubim, God the Creator of all that is visible and invisible confirmed today that while His Love... Read More

Parents Who Allowed 5-Year-Old Daughter To Declare Herself A Boy Demand He Eats His Carrots

  Santa Barbara, CA––Proud parents from Santa Barbara have shared their story of having a 5-year-old transgender daughter who became a boy, but will not... Read More

Richard

King Richard III Confirmed Dead

Leicester, England–Scientists say they have found the missing remains of King Richard III, confirming reports that the 15th century monarch is dead.... Read More

Pope’s Peace Doves Attacked By Metaphors

VATICAN–In a gesture at the Vatican’s annual “Caravan of Peace,” Pope Francis happily watched as two children at his side released a pair... Read More

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Vatican

Germany Abdicates World Cup Championship; Argentina To Assume Title

BRAZIL––The German National Team today stunned soccer fans across the... Read More

Women In Love With Married Men Appeal To Pope To Make Fidelity Optional

  VATICAN–A group of 26 Italian mistresses who claim to be... Read More

Pope Emeritus Benedict Glances At Cover Of Time Magazine Again, Discreetly Wipes Tear From Eye

VATICAN–Sources close to the Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI reported... Read More

“Screw It, Just Canonize Them All,” The Vatican Says

VATICAN––The Vatican this morning is announcing that every pope that... Read More

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Parish Life

Man Who’s Able To Bring Christ Down From Heaven To Earth Required To Get Permission From Parish Council For Something

Parish Council denies request of man ordained to the Order of Melchizedek.

Parish Council denies request of man who was ordained to the Order of Melchizedek. Albany,... Read More

Thousands Expected To Ring In The Solemnity Of Mary Mother Of God In Times Square

NYE2

New York, NY––Final preparations are underway in New York City this morning... Read More

Renovation Construction for Rio Shuttlecock Cathedral Nearing Completion

before and after

A before and after image of the soon to be fully renovated Shuttlecock Cathedral... Read More

Knights Of Columbus Totally Not Catholic Version Of Freemasons

New Haven, CT––The Knights of Columbus, which are made up of wealthy white... Read More

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