Francis To Visit Kansas To Commemorate 26th Anniversary Of Pope Michael Election To Papacy

Image:AndrewHermez

The Vatican has announced that Pope Francis will visit Kansas in July to commemorate the 26th anniversary of Pope Michael’s election to the papacy,... Read More

Parish Life

Man Fasting From Meat On Fridays Turns On Inner Kobayashi Minutes Before Clock Strikes Midnight

  Noticing that he only had minutes before the clock struck midnight, local Catholic Marc Oliver turned on his inner Kobayashi and was able to devour a personal record of hot dogs in just minutes, sources are confirming. “I had lost... Read More

A photograph of the shiny, gold box-thingy captured moments before police closed the area to reporters

Parishioners Mystified By Sudden Appearance Of Mysterious, Shiny Golden Box

A photograph of the shiny, golden box-thingy captured moments before police closed the area to reporters Houston, TX–Just weeks after being appointed a new young pastor, parishioners at St. Agatha Catholic Church in Houston, Texas were... Read More

Purr-iest Says Meow Culpa At Wrong Part of Cat Mass

Cat-alina Island, CA–Speaking to his congregation after the 9:00am Cat Mass yesterday, pastor of St. Francis of Assisi Catholic Church in Cat-alina Island, Fr. Bojangles, apologized for having said the Meow Culpa at the wrong part of... Read More

JesusWept

Ambitious Woman Chooses To Read “Verse In One Year Bible” As New Year’s Resolution

Charlotte, NC––After having failed to finish her One Year Bible for the third consecutive year in a row, Debbie Scholes of Charlotte, North Carolina committed herself yesterday to reading an entire verse from the Bible as her New Year’s... Read More

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Mass

Mass Meme (1)

ICEL Calls For All-Meme Missal Translation For Youth Masses

Washington, DC––Citing a need for the Church to “reach out to its estranged youth,” the International Commission on English in the Liturgy requested, and... Read More

Pulpit

Homily Never Going To End, Sources Confirm

Galveston, TX–Multiple sources at Prince of Peace Catholic Church in Galveston, Texas have just confirmed that parish pastor Fr. Robert Warner is “never... Read More

Hundreds of church-goers stamped into Saint Theresa Parish on Black Friday, 2011, just moments before four are tragically trampled to death.

Thousands Camp Outside Churches In Anticipation Of Black Friday Masses

Hundreds of church-goers stamped into Saint Theresa Parish on Black Friday, 2011, just moments before four are tragically trampled to death. As anticipated, thousands... Read More

Vatican Approves New Emoji Translation Of Mass

The Vatican announced today that Pope Francis has approved a new emoji translation of the Mass to help young adults more actively follow along during church services. “We’ve... Read More

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Politics

Grandpa Joe

Family Atheist Disproves Existence Of Grandfather He’s Never Seen

Fort Lauderdale, FL–As debate continued over whether or not it was appropriate for... Read More

Raymond Arroyo Apologizes For False Story About Being Hit By Cannonball During Battle Of Lepanto

The World Over Live anchor Raymond Arroyo apologized Wednesday for falsely... Read More

Parents Who Allowed 5-Year-Old Daughter To Declare Herself A Boy Demand He Eats His Carrots

  Santa Barbara, CA––Proud parents from Santa Barbara have shared... Read More

God Apparently Hates Brazil

Kingdom of Heaven––Speaking from His Eternal Throne of Cherubim,... Read More

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Libs & Trads

Notre Dame To Celebrate “Coming Out As Episcopalian Day”

OUTFEST

South Bend, IN–Just days before Notre Dame celebrates “Coming Out Day,”... Read More

Bishop Reassigns Diocese’s Only Fundamentally Solid Priest To Parish Of 300 People

Just months after igniting a firestorm for preaching Catholic doctrine from the... Read More

Müller To Build Vatican II Theme Park

theme_park

VATICAN–Speaking to the press Wednesday afternoon, Prefect of the Congregation of... Read More

New Orlando Parish To Be Named “Our Lady Of Good Intentions”

Orlando, FL––After months of debate, officials have confirmed that a new Catholic... Read More

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