People Preparing McCarrick Report Same People As Counting Votes In Nevada

After days of ballot counting in Nevada, officials from the state revealed earlier this morning that they were, in fact, the same people that were... Read More

Mass

Parishioner Believes She Might Have Just Understood A Word Visiting Nigerian Priest Said During Homily

Claiming that she was almost certain she had comprehend a word the new visiting Nigerian priest used during the homily, longtime parishioner Abby Longworth excitedly turned to friends and fellow parishioners today to inform them of the good... Read More

Creepy Clown Masses On The Rise

Image: Graeme Maclean Reports out of Cincinnati, Ohio today suggest sightings of Creepy Clown Masses are on the rise nationwide, and at levels not seen since the introduction of the 3rd typical edition of the Roman Missal five years ago. While... Read More

“We’re Taking All The Good Seats On Christmas, And You’re Gonna Stand There And Like It,” Nominal Catholics Report

YOUR PARISH––”We’re taking every pew and every freaking seat in the house tonight and tomorrow, and you’re just gonna have to stand there and like it,” bitter Christmas/Easter Catholics told the nation’s practicing... Read More

Irish Priests To Extend Confession Times To 8 Hours A Day Because Of “Gargantuan” Number Of Penitents

DUBLIN––At the annual conference of the Association of Catholic Priests in Dublin, pastors from across Ireland gathered to voice their concerns about the “gargantuan” number of Catholics going to confession. “This is a full... Read More

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Libs & Trads

“Sedevacantist Singles” Employees Not Sure Whether To Recognize Authority Of Company President

Seattle, WA–After being called in to a meeting by Sedevacantist Singles President Michael Hoffman early Thursday morning, employees of the ultra-traditionalist... Read More

SSPV Apologize After Drone Targeting Novus Ordo Mass Accidentally Dropped On Taliban

Hoboken, NJ––An SSPV drone strike has accidentally killed three and injured four other Taliban members living in the U.S. Saturday, a spokesman for the Society... Read More

Updated SSPX Catechesis Program To Now Include Fundamentals Of Catholic Trolling

Image: WikiCommons SSPX leadership is preparing to launch a new Catechism program in an effort to help better explain Church teaching and how to best completely... Read More

2-Year-Old Boy Named Lefebvre Being Extremely Disobedient To Father

Chino, CA–Citing his son’s refusal to adhere to any of his warnings, Robert Kosheta, once proud father of local 2-year-old Lefebvre Kosheta, reported... Read More

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Politics

Catholic High School Freshman Arrested After Taking Homemade Liturgical Calendar To School

Image: Patnac   Local police chief Ronald Defray announced today that... Read More

Dolan, Jenky To Settle Dispute Over Sheen Remains In Octagon

A verbal battle between two Catholic leaders over the body of legendary... Read More

PETA Protesters Throw Paint On Francis For Wearing Lamb

PHOTO: OSSERVATORE ROMANO/REUTERS Gatecrashing St. Peter’s Square this... Read More

New Federal HHS Mandate To Force Protestant Business Owners To Pray To Mary Against Their Consciences

Washington, DC––Horizon Baptist College in Washington, DC has become... Read More

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Vatican

Use Of Cell Phones At Mass A “Very Ugly Thing,” Pope Tweets During Mass

  Pope Francis took to Twitter on Wednesday afternoon to chastise some in the... Read More

Pope Warns Warmongers One Last Time Before Unleashing His Vengeance

Image: Andrew Hermiz   After celebrating the Feast of All Souls Day last week,... Read More

Brawl Erupts At Synod

Image: Wolfgang Stuck A massive brawl broke out Thursday morning at the Synod during... Read More

Francis Decentralizes Church; Bishops Decentralize Dioceses

Just days after Pope Francis called for a “healthy decentralization”... Read More

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