Dissident Legionary Parts Hair In The Middle

Thornwood, NY–Speaking to an assembly of Legionary of Christ seminarians this week, Communications Director for the Legionaries Jim Fair expressed outrage over the most recent scandal to hit the fragile religious congregation, when just last week Legionary priest Ronald Mckellen was caught on tape with his hair parted down the middle; a clear violation of the rules and regulations of the congregation.

“It is an outrage! It is a scandal, scandal, scandal!” Fair screamed to reporters gathered late yesterday evening. “Is it a sign of the times…I cannot say. Is it a sign of the end…I dare not say.”

It was just a few years ago that the congregation was forced to acknowledge that its founder Marcial Maciel had fathered children in spite of his vow of celibacy. “The Maciel thing was one thing,” one seminarian said, with tears in his eyes, “but this…this is too much.”