St. Patrick’s Day Drunks And Gluttons Afraid Inclusion Of Gay Group At Parade Will Make Mockery Of Feast Day

September 11, 2014 by  
Filed under Politics

New York, NY–The nation’s St. Patrick’s day drunks and gluttons expressed outrage this week after learning that a gay group would be allowed to march in this year’s St. Patrick’s Day parade. Stating that a gay group being allowed to march at the St. Patrick’s Day parade would make a mockery of the Church, New York resident and perpetually drunk Catholic Jonathan Fold slobberingly announced today that he would be skipping the parade altogether... Read More

Dolan, Jenky To Settle Dispute Over Sheen Remains In Octagon

September 8, 2014 by  
Filed under Politics

A verbal battle between two Catholic leaders over the body of legendary Archbishop Fulton Sheen has put the former television personality’s sainthood campaign on hiatus. The bishop of Peoria,  Illinois, Bishop Daniel Jenky, has been working to beatify Sheen for some time, but all that came to an unexpected hiatus this week when Cardinal Timothy Dolan of New York reportedly told Jenky to “Back up before you gets smacked the heck up.” In a letter... Read More

Rude, Ungrateful 9-Month-Old Crying All Throughout Mass

September 3, 2014 by  
Filed under Parish Life

Billings, MT–In one of the most childish and ungrateful spectacles ever witnessed in St. Margaret Parish in Billings, Montana, 9-month-old Isabella Stone cried hysterically throughout Sunday morning Mass, blatantly disregarding Christ’s sacrifice on the cross for her, sources are reporting. Little Isabella, who has had a 9-month track-record of not appreciating anything that Christ has done for her, and who clearly does not act as one who has... Read More

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