“Life On The Rock” Inexplicably Picked Up For Yet Another Season

Birmingham, AL––The EWTN program Life On The Rock was inexplicably picked up for yet another season this week, baffling many of its viewers as well as network CEO Michael Warsaw. A source at the network announced this week that “for absolutely no good reason whatsoever” they have decided to pick up the show for teens and young adults for another season. “To be honest, I haven’t the faintest clue why we keep doing this to... Read More

Pope Francis To Investigate Roman Curia On TV Show “Undercover Boss”

ROME–Executives from CBS confirmed Wednesday that Chief Executive Officer of The One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church Pope Francis would be appearing in this season’s finale of the hit television show Undercover Boss. The finale, slated to appear in late May, will feature the Pontiff taking on an alias and fictional backstory as he navigates his way through different parts of the Vatican in an attempt to investigate the inner... Read More

Renovation Construction for Rio Shuttlecock Cathedral Nearing Completion

A before and after image of the soon to be fully renovated Shuttlecock Cathedral in Rio. RIO DE JANEIRO––As construction efforts to renovate Rio De Janeiro’s cathedral into a multi-purpose worship/badminton arena continue this month, sightseers from across the globe are flocking to the second-largest city in Brazil to witness the unique transformation. As both World You Day and 2016 Summer Olympics draw near, the Catedral Metropolitano de... Read More

New Text Message Mass All The Rage At Gonzaga University

Spokane, Washington–Expressing sadness for the lack of attention from parishioners during Sunday Masses, Gonzaga University priest Fr. John Conti has recently instituted an all new “Text-Message-Only Mass.” The Gonzaga graduate who just celebrated his 15th anniversary of priesthood told reporters that the idea came to him as he sat listening to the deacon read the epistle. “I looked out and saw all these college kids reading texts... Read More

Pope Francis Not Sure What To Make Of His Papacy Thus Far

VATICAN CITY––It was announced earlier this afternoon that His Holiness Pope Francis was at a complete and utter loss about what to make of his papacy thus far. The 76-year-old Pontiff told Eye of the Tiber that he had been mulling over the question privately for some time now, but that he had hesitated about asking out of fear that he might appear to be a “bad” Catholic. “I don’t know, I guess it all started when I was up... Read More

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