People Preparing McCarrick Report Same People As Counting Votes In Nevada

After days of ballot counting in Nevada, officials from the state revealed earlier this morning that they were, in fact, the same people that were... Read More

Mass

USCCB To Consider Implementing Challenge Flags And Instant Replays During Masses

“Parishioners are challenging the orthodoxy of the homily.” Washington, D.C.–As bishops from across the country gather in Washington, D.C. this weekend for the annual USCCB Liturgical Conference, many within the Church are speculating... Read More

Liturgical Dancer Tests Positive For Performance-Enhancing Drugs

It is being reported this morning that world-renowned liturgical dancer Doris Griffin has tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs. A USCCB spokesman said that trace amounts of an illegal substance were found in Griffin’s blood... Read More

Folk Mass Band Upset Over Masses Interrupting Their Concerts

Yonkers, NY––Blake Jennings, lead guitarist at St. Therese Parish in Yonkers, New York is outraged over what he calls “years of concerts being interrupted by the Mass.” The 56-year-old accountant and father of three has played... Read More

Pope Francis To Defrock 300 Priests For Failing To Say ‘Good Morning’ At The Beginning Of Mass

VATICAN––Shortly after it was revealed that his predecessor, Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI, defrocked 400 priests for sexual abuse of minors, Pope Francis decreed the immediate removal of priestly faculties for 300 priests from Europe and... Read More

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Libs & Trads

Report: All That Really Matters Is Having A Good Heart

Portland, OR–A new study released today by millions of Catholics and non-Catholics from across the globe shows that having a good heart is more pleasing to... Read More

As 2000th Anniversary of Pentecost Approaches, God Still Refuses to Clarify Ambiguous Passages of Scripture

Advocates of family values and traditional marriage spoke out today, demanding again that Jesus Christ clarify his words, “If any one comes to me and does... Read More

World’s Foremost Liturginazi Dies

The world’s foremost liturginazi died peacefully this past week at his home in Kansas City. Originally from Cody, Wyoming, Gerard Schmitz moved to Kansas... Read More

Man Expelled from Charismatic Prayer Group After Speaking Real Language

A man was kicked out of St. Robert Catholic Church’s Wednesday evening Charismatic Prayer group after he began to speak a real foreign language during a “prayer... Read More

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Politics

New Federal HHS Mandate To Force Protestant Business Owners To Pray To Mary Against Their Consciences

Washington, DC––Horizon Baptist College in Washington, DC has become... Read More

Mexican President Obrador Calls For Border Wall To Help Keep Out Drunk College Students From Entering Country During Spring Break

Mexican President Andrés Manuel López Obrador took to national... Read More

Last Remaining Christian Living In Jerusalem Excited About Papal Visit

JERUSALEM–Just a day before Pope Francis makes his first Papal Visit... Read More

First Lady Melania Trump Swats Away President’s Hand During Our Father

Image_Dodo   For the second time in just a few days, first lady Melania... Read More

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Vatican

Pope Francis Stumbles; Foreshadowing Of Unstable Papacy?

A sign of things to come? VATICAN––Media outlets around the world were quick... Read More

EWTN Set To Premiere New Epic Series, Game Of Papal Thrones

Image: Andrew Hermiz There was some exciting news for Game of Thrones fans who also... Read More

Pope Francis To Allow Contraception For Rabbits, Media Reporting

Just days after Pope Francis made statements supporting the Church’s ban... Read More

Pope Francis Says It’s Better To Be An Atheist Than To Enjoy The DC Cinematic Universe

“If you watched Suicide Squad or Batman v. Superman and somehow convinced yourself... Read More

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