People Preparing McCarrick Report Same People As Counting Votes In Nevada

After days of ballot counting in Nevada, officials from the state revealed earlier this morning that they were, in fact, the same people that were... Read More

Mass

The “Brown Note” Proven True Seconds After “Gather Us In” Begins

The infrasonic sound that some have said causes people to lose control of their bowels was proven true just seconds after the hymn Gather Us In began last Sunday. Director of Acoustic Resonance and Church Worship at the Vatican Michelle Klinsmann... Read More

USCCB To Consider Implementing Challenge Flags And Instant Replays During Masses

“Parishioners are challenging the orthodoxy of the homily.” Washington, D.C.–As bishops from across the country gather in Washington, D.C. this weekend for the annual USCCB Liturgical Conference, many within the Church are speculating... Read More

Church Packed As Fr. Bieber Says First Mass At Our Lady Of Perpetual Crunches

Image: AdamSundana Fr. Justin Bieber cleansed his soul and the souls of thousands of concertgoers turned parishioners over the weekend after turning his concert into a vigil Mass. The 20-year-old singer and newly ordained Jesuit, who is currently... Read More

Rookie Monk Out For Advent Season With High Tonsure Sprain

    St. Louis rookie Augustinian Brother Ambrose will be sidelined two to three weeks with a high tonsure sprain, The Augustinian Daily is reporting. Ambrose was injured during last Sunday’s Vesper hour after bowing too fast. “I... Read More

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Libs & Trads

New Evidence Reveals The Mass Was Founded In 1965

Los Angeles, CA–A Loyola Marymount professor Wednesday found what he is considering undeniable evidence of his theory that the Mass was founded in 1965, as... Read More

Protestant Friend Knows All He Needs To Know About Catholic Church

Orange County, CA–Area Protestant Ezekial Atkinson reported earlier this morning that he didn’t need a lecture on Church teaching because he “already... Read More

Disgruntled Parishioner Vows To Halt Weekly $1 Donation Until Church Accepts Female Priests

  Disgruntled Parishioner of St. Agatha Catholic Church James Fitzgerald reported yesterday that he would hence for no longer financial assist the church with... Read More

San Diego Bishop To Have Diocese Sprayed In Effort To Fight The Spread Of Orthodoxy

In an effort to combat what is being called a “fast-moving and highly contagious disease,” officials at the Diocese of San Diego announced today that they will... Read More

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Politics

Scalia Beheaded For Wearing Thomas More Hat To Inauguration

Washington, DC––Just one day after he was seen wearing a replica of... Read More

 Iraqi Christian Who Risks Life To Attend Mass Not Super Concerned About Bad Church Music Right Now

    Tel Keppe, Iraq–As Iraqi Christian Raghda Ablahad... Read More

Head Of Opus Dei Reaffirms Prelature Not A Cult

ROME––Bishop Javier Echevarria Rodriguez, head of the Prelature of... Read More

Parishioners Refuse To Stand During The Our Father

  [News Brief] Catholics parishioners across the U.S. protested during... Read More

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Vatican

Second Paul VI Miracle Approved After Priest Gives Homily On Humanae Vitae

VATICAN—Just days after Pope Paul VI moved one step closer to canonization after... Read More

Pope, Bishops Decide It’s Finally Time To Do Something About Sexual Abuse Crisis After YouTube Goes Offline

  Pope Francis and bishops from around the globe unanimously decided to actually... Read More

Bear From “The Revenant” Has Private Meeting With Pope Francis

Image:AndrewHermiz The bear that played the role of the vicious bear in the movie... Read More

Curia Surprises Francis with One-Way Ticket to Buenos Aires

Roman Curia officials pulled out all the stops this year to celebrate the 4th anniversary... Read More

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