People Preparing McCarrick Report Same People As Counting Votes In Nevada

After days of ballot counting in Nevada, officials from the state revealed earlier this morning that they were, in fact, the same people that were... Read More

Mass

Church Packed As Fr. Bieber Says First Mass At Our Lady Of Perpetual Crunches

Image: AdamSundana Fr. Justin Bieber cleansed his soul and the souls of thousands of concertgoers turned parishioners over the weekend after turning his concert into a vigil Mass. The 20-year-old singer and newly ordained Jesuit, who is currently... Read More

After 26 Weeks Of Anticipation, 27th Sunday In Ordinary Time Just Around Corner

Thousands flock to St. Peter’s to reserve spots for Mass during the 27th Sunday in Ordinary Time. The Christian West––After 26 weeks of eager anticipation, it was reported today that hundreds of millions of Catholics from across the... Read More

Questions Arise After Mother Neglects To Remove Hysterical Child From Mass

Eugene, OR––In the immediate aftermath of the Mass in which parishioner Heather Thomas neglected to remove her crying child to the cry-room during the homily, family of the 26-year-old mother were quick to blame the non-removal of the... Read More

Developing: Sick Man Attempting To Shake Your Hand During Sign Of Peace

Fort Worth, TX––It is being reported this second that the sick man who has been violently coughing into his hands all Mass has been feverishly trying to get your attention to shake hands during the Sign of Peace. “I already threw... Read More

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Libs & Trads

No One At Mass Sure Whether They At Catholic Or Protestant Service

Despite efforts to figure whether they were in a Catholic or Protestant service, local parishioners were left baffled after an “animated” man wearing vestments... Read More

The Dark Lord Sauron To Head Upcoming LCWR Annual Assembly

MORDOR––Sister Florence Deacon announced today that the upcoming annual assembly for the Leadership Conference of Women Religious would be taking place at... Read More

NASA Discovers Earth-like Planet That Could Support Maryknoll Fathers

NASA astronomers today revealed that they have discovered an Earth-like planet close to 600 light years away that might be able to sustain the Maryknoll Fathers... Read More

Grief Counselors Dispatched To San Diego After New Progressive Bishop Named

A mobile team of professional grief counselors and psychologists from Lockword & Sandersen Mental Health, Inc., a clinic based in Raleigh, North Carolina, has... Read More

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Politics

Parents Who Allowed 5-Year-Old Daughter To Declare Herself A Boy Demand He Eats His Carrots

  Santa Barbara, CA––Proud parents from Santa Barbara have shared... Read More

Congregation For Divine Worship Rules Against FSSP Novus Ordo Ban

Image: Staselnik A Congregation for Divine Worship panel has unanimously... Read More

PETA Protesters Throw Paint On Francis For Wearing Lamb

PHOTO: OSSERVATORE ROMANO/REUTERS Gatecrashing St. Peter’s Square this... Read More

Pope Hopes To Strengthen Interfaith Relations In Jerusalem, But Mostly Hoping To Just Stay Alive, Vatican Confirms

JERUSALEM–Fifty years after the historic embrace between the heads... Read More

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Vatican

Francis Hit With Tranquilizer Dart By Swiss Guard Seconds After Putting Down Scripted Statement To Speak Off-Cuff

Photo: AndrewHermez   Pope Francis was hit with a tranquilizer dart this afternoon just... Read More

Women In Love With Married Men Appeal To Pope To Make Fidelity Optional

  VATICAN–A group of 26 Italian mistresses who claim to be having affairs... Read More

EWTN Acquires Holy See

Irondale, AL–EWTN Global Catholic Network announced today that it has acquired... Read More

Vatican To Project Microsoft Bubbles Screensaver Onto St. Peter’s Whenever Basilica Not In Use

An illuminated projection of the Microsoft Office Bubbles theme onto the facade... Read More

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