“Before Washington Was, I AM,” Trump Tells Reporters

Image: Gage Skidmore Speaking to a small crowd gathered outside the recently relocated American Embassy in Jerusalem, President Trump claimed himself... Read More

Mass

Colorado Priest To Appoint Entire Parish Eucharistic Ministers

Loveland, CO––Saint Perpetua Parish Priest Father Nick Farley announced Friday that he would be appointing every single parishioner at his church an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion. “In due respect to the amount of Extraordinary... Read More

New Text Message Mass All The Rage At Gonzaga University

Spokane, Washington–Expressing sadness for the lack of attention from parishioners during Sunday Masses, Gonzaga University priest Fr. John Conti has recently instituted an all new “Text-Message-Only Mass.” The Gonzaga... Read More

New State-Of-The-Art Church Promises Comforts Of The Future

LONDON––A new state-of-the-art church in London opened today with Christmas/Easter size crowds eager for an opportunity to experience the next generation of churches. St. Joseph Cupertino Parish pastor Roger O’Malley gave Eye of... Read More

SSPX Chess Player Creates Bishop Pieces Without World Chess Federation Approval

Image: Benjamin Fishman Society of St. Pius X chess grandmaster Larcel Mafebvre has turned four of his pieces into bishops without approval from the World Chess Federation, officials have confirmed. “Mr. Mafebvre has, without approval... Read More

View All Articles in this Category...

Libs & Trads

Dissident Theologian Hans Kung Petitions Pope To Reconsider Dogma Of Christ Resurrection

Image: Wikipedia Commons Famous Swiss theologian Hans Küng has reportedly sent a letter to Pope Francis, asking him to reconsider the Church’s stance on the Resurrection... Read More

As 2000th Anniversary of Pentecost Approaches, God Still Refuses to Clarify Ambiguous Passages of Scripture

Advocates of family values and traditional marriage spoke out today, demanding again that Jesus Christ clarify his words, “If any one comes to me and does... Read More

Mystery Priest At Car Accident Revealed, Heralded As Courageous Man Who Wore Clerics In Public

The “Missouri Miracle” mystery priest who ministered to Katie Lentz following a head-on crash with another vehicle came forward yesterday morning and... Read More

Man Fondly Remembers Time When A Man Could Read Bible In Public Without Fear Of Being Ridiculed, Beheaded

New Philadelphia––Thinking back to a time long ago, 80-year-old New Philadelphian Gary Walker told his grandchildren that he remembered a time when a man... Read More

View All Articles in this Category...

Politics

Media Ignores Murder Trial of Abortionist who Severed Spines of Infants 19 Years After Their Birth

Dr. Kermit Gosnell Minneapolis, MN–The mainstream media is largely... Read More

Pope Moves To End Program That Protects Young, Uncatechized Catholics From Having To Leave Church

  Pope Francis on Tuesday ordered an end to the Benedict XVI order... Read More

Trump Announces He Has Possession Of Fourth Secret Of Fatima; Claims The Other Secrets Were Fake News

Fátima_José Luiz Bernardes Ribeiro   White House Press Secretary... Read More

Last Remaining Christian Living In Jerusalem Excited About Papal Visit

JERUSALEM–Just a day before Pope Francis makes his first Papal Visit... Read More

View All Articles in this Category...

Vatican

Wind Gust Nearly Blows Off Benedict’s Zucchetto, Leading Media To Speculate About More Stuff

VATICAN CITY–Media outlets around the world are buzzing with speculation this... Read More

Four Cardinals Ask Francis To Clarify IKEA Instructions

Image: Sean Hobson Telling the press today that instructions of Pope Francis’... Read More

Blase Cupich Denies Allegations He Is Sane

Image: Goat_Girl   Cardinal Blase Cupich responded to an anonymous letter earlier... Read More

Pope Francis Mandates All Catholics Convert To Lutheranism In New Apostolic Exhortation

Just hours after Pope Francis published his latest work Reformatio Si, Catholic... Read More

View All Articles in this Category...