Eminem Adapts To Praise & Worship In Effort To Stay Relevant

Image: Mika-photography In an effort to reach out to a growing and larger audience, Rapper Marshal Mathers announced this morning that he has decided... Read More


“Our Father” Ringtone Conveniently Goes Off During “Our Father,” Keeping Everyone In Key

Topeka, KS–According to sources at Our Lady Star of the Sea Parish in Topeka, Kansas, a phone belonging to an unidentified person went off early Sunday morning during the Our Father, despite the pastor’s repeated requests that... Read More

“Why Ain’t Nobody Singin’ Back the Responsory?” Lector Wondering. “My Arms Is Raised Up High Like They Supposed To Be”

Knoxville, TN––Lector at St. Hildegund Catholic Church in Nashville, Tennessee Helen Banks is currently questioning why parishioners are neglecting to sing the Responsory after clearly being given the cue to respond. “Why ain’t... Read More

Church Packed As Fr. Bieber Says First Mass At Our Lady Of Perpetual Crunches

Image: AdamSundana Fr. Justin Bieber cleansed his soul and the souls of thousands of concertgoers turned parishioners over the weekend after turning his concert into a vigil Mass. The 20-year-old singer and newly ordained Jesuit, who is currently... Read More

Man Drops $10 In Donation Basket Like He’s Some Kind Of Beverly Hills Millionaire

Atherton, CA––In what many witnesses are calling “a stunning act of generosity,” a mysterious parishioner was spotted placing a $10 bill into the donation basket at the St. Mark’s Catholic Church 9:00 am Mass as though... Read More

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Bishop’s Inaugural Homily Promises To Put Christ First

Image: Jarek Tuszyński Bishop Thomas Drumpf, in his inaugural homily, promised to make his new diocese great again and to put Christ first.  As he took the oath... Read More

Berkeley Sophomore Anxiously Considering Coming Out Of Closet To Reveal He’s Opposed To Gay Marriage

Berkley, CA–University of California, Berkeley student Emanuel Ramsey revealed to Eye of the Tiber today that he was extremely nervous about possibly coming... Read More

Catholic High School Freshman Arrested After Taking Homemade Liturgical Calendar To School

Image: Patnac   Local police chief Ronald Defray announced today that charges will not be filed against Arthur Koch, the Mater Dei Catholic high school freshman... Read More

Trump Says That He Will Make Aliens Pay For New Space Force

  President Donald Trump accused Martians of doing nothing to stop aliens from crossing into Earth, and repeated his presidential campaign pledge that Martians... Read More

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Libs & Trads

Nation’s Catholics Demand Better Catechesis To Better Understand What Teachings To Ignore

Washington, DC––Thousands of the nation’s ill-catechized Catholics... Read More

New Book Highlights “Systematic Oppression, Degradation” Of Women In Bible

Washington, DC––Fresh off her groundbreaking sermon denouncing “the... Read More

Pope Michael I Announces Location Of Upcoming World Youth Day

Pope Michael I interviewed by reporters after the World Youth Day announcement Belvue,... Read More

Catholic Church Seemingly Reverses Apology to Galileo

Twenty two years after the historic “apology” of Pope John... Read More

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Pope Francis Gets Last F-Bomb Out Of System before Giving Up Cussing For Lent

VATICAN–His Holiness Pope Francis shocked the world today during a Papal Audience... Read More

Second Paul VI Miracle Approved After Priest Gives Homily On Humanae Vitae

VATICAN—Just days after Pope Paul VI moved one step closer to canonization after... Read More

Captain America, Iron Man Split Over Vigano Letter

  Iron man and Captain America have been seen fighting inside St. Peter’s... Read More

Pope Francis Announces He Not Planning To Ever Retire, Die

Pope Francis announced Sunday that he has no plans to retire from his position as... Read More

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