People Preparing McCarrick Report Same People As Counting Votes In Nevada

After days of ballot counting in Nevada, officials from the state revealed earlier this morning that they were, in fact, the same people that were... Read More

Mass

After 26 Weeks Of Anticipation, 27th Sunday In Ordinary Time Just Around Corner

Thousands flock to St. Peter’s to reserve spots for Mass during the 27th Sunday in Ordinary Time. The Christian West––After 26 weeks of eager anticipation, it was reported today that hundreds of millions of Catholics from across the... Read More

Elderly Woman Mumbling Words Of Consecration From Pew

Parishioners at the Catholic parish of St. Adelaide let out a sigh of relief during Mass this morning after parishioner Veronica Hough validated the consecration by mumbling the words of institution along with the priest. Many parishioners... Read More

Study Finds That Tripping Over Vestments And Falling On Face During Mass Sucks A Lot

According to a new study by the USCCB, tripping over your vestments while walking to the altar before falling face first in front of everyone you just passive-aggressively burned during the homily for not donating enough sucks big time. “Of... Read More

“Our Father” Ringtone Conveniently Goes Off During “Our Father,” Keeping Everyone In Key

Topeka, KS–According to sources at Our Lady Star of the Sea Parish in Topeka, Kansas, a phone belonging to an unidentified person went off early Sunday morning during the Our Father, despite the pastor’s repeated requests that... Read More

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Libs & Trads

Local Man Demands Pope Create Commission To Study Role Of Insufferable Catholics In The Church

  Local man Tim Sutherland announced this morning that he was demanding that Pope Francis create a commission to study the historical role of insufferable... Read More

Obama Invited To Say Mass At Notre Dame

Southbend, IN––Three years after Notre Dame invited Barack Obama to deliver the commencement speech to its graduating class, the university has now reportedly... Read More

Jesuit Celebrates Halloween By Dressing Up In “Priest Costume”

Hoping to surprise his family and friends at Holy Trinity Parish’s annual Halloween Breakfast this morning, local Jesuit Fr. Walter Allen arrived dressed... Read More

Nation’s Catholics Demand Better Catechesis To Better Understand What Teachings To Ignore

Washington, DC––Thousands of the nation’s ill-catechized Catholics protested outside the USCCB headquarters in Washington, DC last night, demanding better... Read More

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Politics

St. Patrick’s Day Drunks And Gluttons Afraid Inclusion Of Gay Group At Parade Will Make Mockery Of Feast Day

New York, NY–The nation’s St. Patrick’s day drunks and gluttons... Read More

Pope Francis Calls For More Vatican Nukes In Annual Christmas Message

Just days after Pope Francis offered a message of hope in his annual “Urbi... Read More

Pope’s Peace Doves Attacked By Metaphors

VATICAN–In a gesture at the Vatican’s annual “Caravan... Read More

New Archbishop of Canterbury Makes Compelling Case For Gay Marriage

ENGLAND–The Most Reverend Justin Welby was formally enthroned earlier... Read More

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Vatican

Pope Francis Says Women Can Have Abortions During Year Of Mercy, MSNBC Reports

Photo Credit: Malacañang Photo Bureau Pope Francis announced Tuesday that he will... Read More

Pope: “Harry Potter And The Sorcerer’s Stone Is Also Badly Translated”

Credit: Malacañang Photo Bureau   Pope Francis has called for the renaming... Read More

Brawl Erupts At Synod

Image: Wolfgang Stuck A massive brawl broke out Thursday morning at the Synod during... Read More

Pope Shares Birthday Breakfast With Boy Band One Direction

VATICAN–Five members of the English-Irish pop boy band One Direction helped... Read More

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