“Before Washington Was, I AM,” Trump Tells Reporters

Image: Gage Skidmore Speaking to a small crowd gathered outside the recently relocated American Embassy in Jerusalem, President Trump claimed himself... Read More

Mass

Tostitos Fiesta Pentecost Mass One Of Many New Church Sponsorships

Alameda, CA–Following a string of church closures around the country, St. Stephen Parish in Alameda, California has announced plans to have their upcoming Pentecost Mass sponsored by Tostitos. The move comes just months after Los Angeles... Read More

Fr. Zuhlsdorf Installs Electric Altar Rails; 2 Women Injured

It is being reported that the two unidentified Catholics who rushed the altar this morning to assist Fr. John Zuhlsdorf during the Mass were injured after they were shocked by electric altar rails installed by the priest. The well-known Catholic... Read More

Female Parishioners Upset That Men Not Also Being Asked To “Set The Altar” Before Mass

Baker, OR–Female Parishioners at St. John Bosco Parish in Baker, Oregon have sent a letter to Bishop Liam Cary accusing their pastor Fr. Maurice Alvarez as well as Deacon Bob Ley of sexism and chauvinism. The one-page complaint letter... Read More

Lazy Man Not Helping To Put Up Kneeler

West Bloomfield, MI––A source out of St. Ulric Catholic Church in West Bloomfield, Michigan confirmed Sunday that parishioner Alexander Ramsey had not lifted a finger to assist in putting up or down the kneeler for the consecration. “I... Read More