People Preparing McCarrick Report Same People As Counting Votes In Nevada

After days of ballot counting in Nevada, officials from the state revealed earlier this morning that they were, in fact, the same people that were... Read More

Mass

There Was Certainly A Point During My Clown Mass When I Thought, “What The Hell Am I Doing?”

Pastor of St. Genesius Catholic Church Fr. Edmond Harrington confirmed this afternoon that at one point during his first ever Clown Mass, he looked down at his oversized checkered shoes as he was praying and thought to himself, “Edmond,... Read More

Tostitos Fiesta Pentecost Mass One Of Many New Church Sponsorships

Alameda, CA–Following a string of church closures around the country, St. Stephen Parish in Alameda, California has announced plans to have their upcoming Pentecost Mass sponsored by Tostitos. The move comes just months after Los Angeles... Read More

Man Found Dead After Botched Homily

A man whose body was found in a pew at St. Cecila’s Church Friday died from blunt trauma to the heart, the San Bernardino County medical examiners office found after autopsies performed this morning. “We can’t say much at... Read More

Priest Magician Performs Folk Mass Illusion; Makes Parishioners Disappear

Las Vegas, NV––Citing a large demand for his Folk Mass illusion, part-time magician Fr. George Richmond of Las Vegas, Nevada told reporters Sunday that he would begin to perform the trick every Sunday at 9:00 am. “I remember last... Read More

View All Articles in this Category...

Libs & Trads

Jesus Assumes New Role As Savior Emeritus After Catholic Blogger Takes Over Task Of Saving Church From Francis

Catholic blogger Nicholas Robison, best known for his blog, More Catholic Than Jesus, announced today that he has officially assumed the role of Savior of the world,... Read More

Man Expelled from Charismatic Prayer Group After Speaking Real Language

A man was kicked out of St. Robert Catholic Church’s Wednesday evening Charismatic Prayer group after he began to speak a real foreign language during a “prayer... Read More

Grief Counselors Dispatched To San Diego After New Progressive Bishop Named

A mobile team of professional grief counselors and psychologists from Lockword & Sandersen Mental Health, Inc., a clinic based in Raleigh, North Carolina, has... Read More

Clown At Circus Mass Reprimanded For Honking Sanctus Horn At Wrong Part Of Consecration

Sources say that just minutes after a Circus Mass at St. Pius X Catholic Church concluded earlier this morning, Church Pastor and Ring Master Fr. Reggie Smith reprimanded... Read More

View All Articles in this Category...

Politics

Trump Says That He Will Make Aliens Pay For New Space Force

  President Donald Trump accused Martians of doing nothing to stop... Read More

Knights of Columbus Changes Name to “Knights of Indigenous Peoples”

  Two months after ditching their ostrich-plume chapeaus, the Knights... Read More

Pope Michael Declares Emergency to Install Communion Rails

Pope Michael announced Friday that he was declaring a state of emergency... Read More

Vatican To Allow Trump To Choose American Bishops

Image: Gage Skidmore   The Vatican’s recent agreement to give... Read More

View All Articles in this Category...

Vatican

[News From The Future] Martians Protest During Third Vatican Council

Martians from the northern quadrant of sector 490-3t protesting. New Calcedonia,... Read More

Members Of Roman Curia Flood Michael Voris With Invitations To Visit Vatican

Image: WikiCommons Just days after Catholic internet personality Michael Voris revealed... Read More

Pope Francis Apologizes For Prank Video Message To Evangelicals

Pope Francis is apologizing this morning after it was revealed that a video of the... Read More

Pope To Commission Study To Find More Ways He Can Confuse People

Pope Francis said today that he would set up a commission to study whether or not... Read More

View All Articles in this Category...