People Preparing McCarrick Report Same People As Counting Votes In Nevada

After days of ballot counting in Nevada, officials from the state revealed earlier this morning that they were, in fact, the same people that were... Read More

Mass

“Our Father” Ringtone Conveniently Goes Off During “Our Father,” Keeping Everyone In Key

Topeka, KS–According to sources at Our Lady Star of the Sea Parish in Topeka, Kansas, a phone belonging to an unidentified person went off early Sunday morning during the Our Father, despite the pastor’s repeated requests that... Read More

Man Goes To Mass To Seek Out Intimate Encounter With Neighbor

Explaining how forcefully and extensively the centrality of an intimate encounter with the person of our neighbor is to the spiritual life, local Catholic Jonathan Duggan invited friends to Mass this morning so that they too could experience the... Read More

Folk Mass Band Upset Over Masses Interrupting Their Concerts

Yonkers, NY––Blake Jennings, lead guitarist at St. Therese Parish in Yonkers, New York is outraged over what he calls “years of concerts being interrupted by the Mass.” The 56-year-old accountant and father of three has played... Read More

USCCB To Consider Implementing Challenge Flags And Instant Replays During Masses

“Parishioners are challenging the orthodoxy of the homily.” Washington, D.C.–As bishops from across the country gather in Washington, D.C. this weekend for the annual USCCB Liturgical Conference, many within the Church are speculating... Read More

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Libs & Trads

SSPX Excommunicates Renegade Bishop For Installing Bishops Without Approval

Peoria, AZ – SSPX Arizona Bishop Gerald Leif confirmed Thursday that he has installed four bishops in spite of SSPX forbiddance. The move comes months after meetings... Read More

Woman Shocked To Learn Her Daughter Eloping In Vegas After Doing Nothing to Catechize Her

Image: Antoine Tavenaeux Local Catholic Marissa Vaughan was saddened to learn this afternoon that her daughter had decided to elope in Las Vegas after years of... Read More

Report: LA Religious Education Congress Nothing But Big Fat Load Of Bull

Despite positive reviews from the committee overseeing this year’s Los Angeles Religious Education Congress, a new report out today by EOTT found that virtually... Read More

Pope Michael Doesn’t Know What All The Commotion Is About

Belvue, KS–Sources close to Pope Michael are strongly denying reports out Monday morning claiming that the pontiff will be retiring at the end of February.... Read More

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Politics

Russian Orthodox Church Accused Of Doping Parishioners To Gain Spiritual Advantage

With Armageddon just around the corner, the Russian Orthodox Church is... Read More

Cardinal Burke Calls For “Extreme Vetting” Of Protestant Converts

Image: CanonLawJunkie In a speech in Rome last night, Cardinal Raymond... Read More

St. Patrick’s Day Drunks And Gluttons Afraid Inclusion Of Gay Group At Parade Will Make Mockery Of Feast Day

New York, NY–The nation’s St. Patrick’s day drunks and gluttons... Read More

New Terrorist Video Shows Christians Being Served Coffee In Red Cups

A new terrorist video put out today by Starbucks shows the latest batch... Read More

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Vatican

Pope Francis Not Sure How To Make Sense Of What He Just Said

VATICAN–Speaking to pilgrims during his weekly Wednesday audience yesterday,... Read More

USCCB Restricts Free Spread Of Lumen Fidei; “Just Like St. Paul Did With Book Of Galations.”

Washington, DC––Just a week after the USCCB accused popular Catholic blogger... Read More

Cardinal Sarah Gives Permission For Priests To Have Their Feet Washed By 12 Women

Image: WikiCommons Priest are not obligated to wash the feet of women during the... Read More

New DC Comics ‘Benedict V Francis: Dawn Of Mercy’ Film Getting Terrible Reviews

Image: Andrew Hermiz It’s been three years since Benedict’s colossal battle... Read More

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