People Preparing McCarrick Report Same People As Counting Votes In Nevada

After days of ballot counting in Nevada, officials from the state revealed earlier this morning that they were, in fact, the same people that were... Read More

Mass

New State-Of-The-Art Church Promises Comforts Of The Future

LONDON––A new state-of-the-art church in London opened today with Christmas/Easter size crowds eager for an opportunity to experience the next generation of churches. St. Joseph Cupertino Parish pastor Roger O’Malley gave Eye of... Read More

Outrage After Man Butchers Beloved Liturgy In Zimbabwe

A priest arrested in the butchering of a beloved Mass in Zimbabwe was released Wednesday by an ecclesiastical court on $1,000 bail. Fr. Theo Braxton, a professional Mass butcher since the 1960’s, said through his attorney that he was innocent... Read More

Confused Parishioner Won’t Stop Accidently Saying “And Also With You”

photo: Gregory L. Tracy Hoboken, New Jersey––It is being reported today that Timothy Perkins of Our Lady of Fatima Catholic Church in Hoboken, New Jersey continually made the wrong responses at Mass, despite having the new laminated translation... Read More

Area Parishioner Reporting He’s Not Gay; Ain’t Gonna Hold Another Man’s Hand During Our Father

Fort Worth, TX––77-year-old Richard Kantor of Fort Worth, Texas is reporting at this hour that he ain’t no gay, and therefore not gonna hold another man’s hand during the Our Father. “I ain’t gonna do it. Never... Read More

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Libs & Trads

Pope Francis Calls Ten Commandments Too Rigid

  [News Brief] Pope Francis on Monday warned against the excessive rigidity of the Ten Commandments and said “God gives us the freedom to search our own... Read More

“Yeah, You’re Going To Hell,” SSPX Priest Tells 12-Year-Old Penitent

Local Society of St. Pius X priest Father Marvin McDonald informed 12-year-old parishioner Timmy Seibel that he was, “without a doubt,” going to hell for hitting... Read More

Christendom College Student Won’t Shut Up With The Latin Already

“Colligium Christendum in Virginium est. Christendum bonum scholasticum est.”-Ben Tate Friends of Christendom College freshman Ben Tate reported this... Read More

Mars Curiosity Rover Successfully Reaches Jesuit Seminary

Berkeley, CA––NASA announced Tuesday that its 2.5 billion dollar Mars Curiosity Rover has successfully touched down in the Jesuit Seminary in Berkeley. For... Read More

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Politics

USCCB Sword Swallowing Challenge Raising Little Money, Causing Terrible Injuries

You’ve seen all the USCCB Sword Swallowing Challenge videos by now.... Read More

Brett Kavanaugh To Lead Life Of Prayer, Penance At DC Kegger

  Former nominee to the Supreme Court Brett Kavanaugh has begun his... Read More

Pope Hosts Interfaith Peace Gathering Between Vatican And Priestly Fraternity Of St. Peter In Assisi

Image: RyansWorld In what Pope Francis called “the first ever interfaith... Read More

Four Jesuit Missionaries Dead After Battle With Portuguese Colonists

In memoriam:Father Gabriel, Rodrigo Mendoza, Fielding, The Other Jesuit Iguazu... Read More

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Vatican

Pope Francis Not Sure What To Make Of His Papacy Thus Far

VATICAN CITY––It was announced earlier this afternoon that His Holiness Pope... Read More

Francis Condemns Magnum Principium, Begins Saying Latin Mass After Hitting Head During Popemobile Accident

Image:Zebra48bo   Days after the Pontiff sustained injuries after hitting his... Read More

Pope Francis Names Archbishop Cupich As His Successor

Image: Goat_Girl The Vatican announced this week that Chicago Archbishop Blase Cupich... Read More

Pope Francis To Allow Contraception For Rabbits, Media Reporting

Just days after Pope Francis made statements supporting the Church’s ban... Read More

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