People Preparing McCarrick Report Same People As Counting Votes In Nevada

After days of ballot counting in Nevada, officials from the state revealed earlier this morning that they were, in fact, the same people that were... Read More
Mass

Rookie Monk Out For Advent Season With High Tonsure Sprain
St. Louis rookie Augustinian Brother Ambrose will be sidelined two to three weeks with a high tonsure sprain, The Augustinian Daily is reporting. Ambrose was injured during last Sunday’s Vesper hour after bowing too fast. “I... Read More

ICEL Calls For All-Meme Missal Translation For Youth Masses
Citing a need for the Church to “reach out to its estranged youth,” the International Commission on English in the Liturgy requested, and has already begun intensive work on, an all-meme edition of the Roman Missal. Representatives from... Read More

Seating For Mass Turns Chaotic After Ushers Call In Sick
Moments after riot police stormed the church to restore order in the pews. Mass at St. Alphonsus Parish quickly turned chaotic earlier this morning after all eight ushers called in sick with the flu. 66-year-old Herman Wible, who one of the... Read More

Elderly Woman Mumbling Words Of Consecration From Pew
Parishioners at the Catholic parish of St. Adelaide let out a sigh of relief during Mass this morning after parishioner Veronica Hough validated the consecration by mumbling the words of institution along with the priest. Many parishioners... Read More
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Libs & Trads

Nuns On Bus Scour Ohio In Search of Misplaced Veils
OHIO––A group of Catholic nuns began a 1,000 mile bus tour through Ohio this week asking locals whether or not they have seen their veils. The group of about... Read More

Scientists Test Effects of Novus Ordo On Longtime Sedevacantist
Dr. William Manders interviewed about Novus Ordo testing on Sedevacantist. Los Angeles, CA–Attempting to explain the physical and emotional toll that an average Sedevacantist... Read More

Report: Some 2nd Century Roman Christians Hated Latin Mass Because It Was Said In The Vernacular
ROME–A letter written by an anonymous early Roman Christian was unearthed at the base of the Palatine Hills earlier this week, revealing that many Christians... Read More

Breaking Bad Finale: Walter White’s Issues Revealed As Consequence Of Poor Childhood Catechesis
Albuquerque, NM–After five seasons, the critically acclaimed AMC drama Breaking Bad came to end last night with a stunning twist revealing that the string... Read More
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Politics

As Israel And Palestine Brace For War, Vatican Set To March On Jerusalem
TEL AVIV––After days of Israeli bombings in and around Gaza, Hamas... Read More

World Cup: Trump Rooting For Russia In Hopes Of Finally Having A Team Accept Invitation To White House
In his desire to have a team, “any team,” actually want to... Read More

Prolife Judge Deports Pregnant Illegal Immigrant; Allows Fetus To Stay
Prolife judge Anthony Gabel ordered Fairuz Naoum, a pregnant illegal... Read More

Fr. Frank Pavone Accidentally Named Supreme Court Nominee After Obama Inadvertently Picks Up Wrong File From Desk
Image: Wiki Commons Catholic priest and pro-life activist Fr. Frank Pavone... Read More
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Vatican
Ringling Bros. Circus And Its Subsidiary The Vatican To Shut Down In May

Image:AlejandroLinaresGarcia After more than 140 years, the curtain is... Read More
Pope Francis Names Archbishop Cupich As His Successor

Image: Goat_Girl The Vatican announced this week that Chicago Archbishop Blase Cupich... Read More
Synod On The Family Admits New ‘Caitlyn’ Jenner Vanity Fair Cover ‘A Game Changer’

Members of the Synod on the Family scrambled to meet today to discuss what some... Read More
Pope Francis To Raffle Off Papacy To Aid Poor

As spiritual leader of over 1.2 billion Catholics, Pope Francis has received hundreds... Read More