People Preparing McCarrick Report Same People As Counting Votes In Nevada

After days of ballot counting in Nevada, officials from the state revealed earlier this morning that they were, in fact, the same people that were... Read More

Mass

Folk Mass Band Upset Over Masses Interrupting Their Concerts

Yonkers, NY––Blake Jennings, lead guitarist at St. Therese Parish in Yonkers, New York is outraged over what he calls “years of concerts being interrupted by the Mass.” The 56-year-old accountant and father of three has played... Read More

Man Found Dead After Botched Homily

A man whose body was found in a pew at St. Cecila’s Church Friday died from blunt trauma to the heart, the San Bernardino County medical examiners office found after autopsies performed this morning. “We can’t say much at... Read More

Priest Magician Performs Folk Mass Illusion; Makes Parishioners Disappear

Las Vegas, NV––Citing a large demand for his Folk Mass illusion, part-time magician Fr. George Richmond of Las Vegas, Nevada told reporters Sunday that he would begin to perform the trick every Sunday at 9:00 am. “I remember last... Read More

Parishioner Believes She Might Have Just Understood A Word Visiting Nigerian Priest Said During Homily

Claiming that she was almost certain she had comprehend a word the new visiting Nigerian priest used during the homily, longtime parishioner Abby Longworth excitedly turned to friends and fellow parishioners today to inform them of the good... Read More

View All Articles in this Category...

Libs & Trads

Statue In Cathedral Of Our Lady Of The Angels Wondering Why Everyone Keeps Laughing At It

Los Angeles, CA––The Virgin Mary statue at the entrance of Our Lady of the Angels Cathedral in Los Angeles announced today that it was becoming evermore frustrated... Read More

Man Expelled from Charismatic Prayer Group After Speaking Real Language

A man was kicked out of St. Robert Catholic Church’s Wednesday evening Charismatic Prayer group after he began to speak a real foreign language during a “prayer... Read More

Breaking Bad Finale: Walter White’s Issues Revealed As Consequence Of Poor Childhood Catechesis

Albuquerque, NM–After five seasons, the critically acclaimed AMC drama Breaking Bad came to end last night with a stunning twist revealing that the string... Read More

Pelosi Excommunicates Cordileone

Washington, DC––In an astonishing move today, Minority Leader of the House of Representatives and Mouthpiece of God in the United States Nancy Pelosi has excommunicated... Read More

View All Articles in this Category...

Politics

Vatican Does Not Deny Francis Visit With Tom Brady; Tells QB To “Stay Strong”

Image: Andrew Campbell/Flickr   A source close to Pope Francis this... Read More

Parents Who Allowed 5-Year-Old Daughter To Declare Herself A Boy Demand He Eats His Carrots

  Santa Barbara, CA––Proud parents from Santa Barbara have shared... Read More

PETA Protesters Throw Paint On Francis For Wearing Lamb

PHOTO: OSSERVATORE ROMANO/REUTERS Gatecrashing St. Peter’s Square this... Read More

As Israel And Palestine Brace For War, Vatican Set To March On Jerusalem

TEL AVIV––After days of Israeli bombings in and around Gaza, Hamas... Read More

View All Articles in this Category...

Vatican

Jason Evert Gives Chastity Talk To Roman Curia

Members of the Roman Curia and their parents were treated with a chastity talk at... Read More

Report: Recent Vatican Bank Scandal Just What Church Needs Right Now

The Vatican Bank. Vatican City–A new report out today shows that the most recent... Read More

[News From The Future] Martians Protest During Third Vatican Council

Martians from the northern quadrant of sector 490-3t protesting. New Calcedonia,... Read More

Marie Kondo Helps Tidy Up Vatican; Gets Rid Of All But Five Bishops

Telling reporters that he brought in famed organizing consultant Marie Kondo... Read More

View All Articles in this Category...