People Preparing McCarrick Report Same People As Counting Votes In Nevada

After days of ballot counting in Nevada, officials from the state revealed earlier this morning that they were, in fact, the same people that were... Read More

Mass

New State-Of-The-Art Church Promises Comforts Of The Future

LONDON––A new state-of-the-art church in London opened today with Christmas/Easter size crowds eager for an opportunity to experience the next generation of churches. St. Joseph Cupertino Parish pastor Roger O’Malley gave Eye of... Read More

Study Finds That Tripping Over Vestments And Falling On Face During Mass Sucks A Lot

According to a new study by the USCCB, tripping over your vestments while walking to the altar before falling face first in front of everyone you just passive-aggressively burned during the homily for not donating enough sucks big time. “Of... Read More

USCCB To Consider Implementing Challenge Flags And Instant Replays During Masses

“Parishioners are challenging the orthodoxy of the homily.” Washington, D.C.–As bishops from across the country gather in Washington, D.C. this weekend for the annual USCCB Liturgical Conference, many within the Church are speculating... Read More

Area Catholic Confirms Too Many Obligations To Make It To Mass On Holy Day Of Obligation

Rancho San Diego, CA––29-year-old Catholic Tony Rigali confirmed to his family earlier today that due to all the “things on his plate,” he would be, unfortunately, having to skip Holy Day of Obligation Mass today in honor of... Read More

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Libs & Trads

Outraged Critics of Pope Francis Demand He Answer “Laurel/Yanny” Dubia

  Pope Francis’ exhortation on the Laurel/Yanny debate, in which he appears to open the possibility of communion for people no matter whether they hear the... Read More

Report: All That Really Matters Is Having A Good Heart

Portland, OR–A new study released today by millions of Catholics and non-Catholics from across the globe shows that having a good heart is more pleasing to... Read More

Jack Chick Having Heated Debate With Saint Peter At Pearly Gates

Image:Brendan Riley Evangelical cartoonist Jack Chick whose tracts spread biblical messages to the pagan world, as well as notified a billion Roman Catholics that... Read More

San Diego Bishop To Have Diocese Sprayed In Effort To Fight The Spread Of Orthodoxy

In an effort to combat what is being called a “fast-moving and highly contagious disease,” officials at the Diocese of San Diego announced today that they will... Read More

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Politics

Pope Michael Declares Emergency to Install Communion Rails

Pope Michael announced Friday that he was declaring a state of emergency... Read More

World Cup: Trump Rooting For Russia In Hopes Of Finally Having A Team Accept Invitation To White House

  In his desire to have a team, “any team,” actually want to... Read More

Planned Oklahoma City Black Mass Stirring Controversy With Schismatic Satanist Group

Oklahoma City, OK–The black mass scheduled for September 21 in Oklahoma... Read More

Cardinal Dolan, Pope Francis Can’t Seem To Find A Case For Excommunicating Andrew Cuomo

Image: Pat Arnow   Conceding that, though the Catholic Church would... Read More

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Vatican

Local Doctor Tells Patient to Stop Being “Obsessed” with his Cancer

Minneapolis, MN––Dr. Simon Townsend, in an interview with United States Magazine,... Read More

Jesus May Have Been Born Years After Pope Thinks, Claims Incoming Anglican Archbishop

CANTERBURY––The “mistake” was made by 21st century Pope and scholar... Read More

Little Girl Who Attempted To Steal Pope’s “Hat” Arraigned On Felony Charges

The Swiss Guard have arrested Estella Westrick from Atlanta, Georgia for several... Read More

Blase Cupich Denies Allegations He Is Sane

Image: Goat_Girl   Cardinal Blase Cupich responded to an anonymous letter earlier... Read More

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