“Before Washington Was, I AM,” Trump Tells Reporters

Image: Gage Skidmore Speaking to a small crowd gathered outside the recently relocated American Embassy in Jerusalem, President Trump claimed himself... Read More

Mass

“Extraordinary Mass Should Not Be The Norm,” Extraordinary Minister Of Holy Communion Reporting

Pigeon Forge, Tennessee––Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion Ernest Robbins is reporting to friends and family that the Extraordinary Form of the Liturgy “should never become the norm,” but that it should “remain... Read More

Man Goes To Mass To Seek Out Intimate Encounter With Neighbor

Explaining how forcefully and extensively the centrality of an intimate encounter with the person of our neighbor is to the spiritual life, local Catholic Jonathan Duggan invited friends to Mass this morning so that they too could experience the... Read More

Study Finds That Tripping Over Vestments And Falling On Face During Mass Sucks A Lot

According to a new study by the USCCB, tripping over your vestments while walking to the altar before falling face first in front of everyone you just passive-aggressively burned during the homily for not donating enough sucks big time. “Of... Read More

Female Parishioners Upset That Men Not Also Being Asked To “Set The Altar” Before Mass

Baker, OR–Female Parishioners at St. John Bosco Parish in Baker, Oregon have sent a letter to Bishop Liam Cary accusing their pastor Fr. Maurice Alvarez as well as Deacon Bob Ley of sexism and chauvinism. The one-page complaint letter... Read More

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Libs & Trads

The Dark Lord Sauron To Head Upcoming LCWR Annual Assembly

MORDOR––Sister Florence Deacon announced today that the upcoming annual assembly for the Leadership Conference of Women Religious would be taking place at... Read More

Report: All That Really Matters Is Having A Good Heart

Portland, OR–A new study released today by millions of Catholics and non-Catholics from across the globe shows that having a good heart is more pleasing to... Read More

Scientists Test Effects of Novus Ordo On Longtime Sedevacantist

Dr. William Manders interviewed about Novus Ordo testing on Sedevacantist. Los Angeles, CA–Attempting to explain the physical and emotional toll that an average Sedevacantist... Read More

Lapsed Catholic Confirms She Is Still Spiritual

27-year-old Sara Matson confirmed to friends yesterday that she was indeed still very spiritual despite no longer attending Mass. Matson, a World Religions teacher... Read More

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Politics

Pope’s Peace Doves Attacked By Metaphors

VATICAN–In a gesture at the Vatican’s annual “Caravan... Read More

Raymond Arroyo Apologizes For False Story About Being Hit By Cannonball During Battle Of Lepanto

The World Over Live anchor Raymond Arroyo apologized Wednesday for falsely... Read More

Kanye West Meets With Pope Francis To Discuss Liturgy

Kanye West performing at Lollapalooza on April 3, 2011 in Chile.Photo credit:... Read More

Russian Orthodox Church Accused Of Doping Parishioners To Gain Spiritual Advantage

With Armageddon just around the corner, the Russian Orthodox Church is... Read More

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Vatican

Vatican Press Office Officially Announces All Phone Lines in Vatican To Be Disconnected For Remainder Of Pontificate

VATICAN––The Vatican Press Office Director Father Federico Lombardi issued... Read More

Days After Abolishing “Monsignor” Honor For Priests, Pope Abolishes “Priest” Honor For Seminarians

VATICAN––Days after abolishing the title of “monsignor,” Pope Francis... Read More

Blase Cupich Denies Allegations He Is Sane

Image: Goat_Girl   Cardinal Blase Cupich responded to an anonymous letter earlier... Read More

Francis Found Weeping In Vatican Men’s Restroom After Learning Of Bad Amoris Laetitia Reviews

Image: Wikicommons Sources confirmed Thursday that Pope Francis was found crawled... Read More

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