People Preparing McCarrick Report Same People As Counting Votes In Nevada

After days of ballot counting in Nevada, officials from the state revealed earlier this morning that they were, in fact, the same people that were... Read More

Mass

Irish Priests To Extend Confession Times To 8 Hours A Day Because Of “Gargantuan” Number Of Penitents

DUBLIN––At the annual conference of the Association of Catholic Priests in Dublin, pastors from across Ireland gathered to voice their concerns about the “gargantuan” number of Catholics going to confession. “This is a full... Read More

Rookie Monk Out For Advent Season With High Tonsure Sprain

    St. Louis rookie Augustinian Brother Ambrose will be sidelined two to three weeks with a high tonsure sprain, The Augustinian Daily is reporting. Ambrose was injured during last Sunday’s Vesper hour after bowing too fast. “I... Read More

“Extraordinary Mass Should Not Be The Norm,” Extraordinary Minister Of Holy Communion Reporting

Pigeon Forge, Tennessee––Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion Ernest Robbins is reporting to friends and family that the Extraordinary Form of the Liturgy “should never become the norm,” but that it should “remain... Read More

Lazy Man Not Helping To Put Up Kneeler

West Bloomfield, MI––A source out of St. Ulric Catholic Church in West Bloomfield, Michigan confirmed Sunday that parishioner Alexander Ramsey had not lifted a finger to assist in putting up or down the kneeler for the consecration. “I... Read More

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Libs & Trads

New Evidence Reveals The Mass Was Founded In 1965

Los Angeles, CA–A Loyola Marymount professor Wednesday found what he is considering undeniable evidence of his theory that the Mass was founded in 1965, as... Read More

Disgruntled Parishioner Vows To Halt Weekly $1 Donation Until Church Accepts Female Priests

  Disgruntled Parishioner of St. Agatha Catholic Church James Fitzgerald reported yesterday that he would hence for no longer financial assist the church with... Read More

Area Baptist Church Runs Out Of Welch’s 100% Grape Juice For Communion

San Diego, CA–Pastor Kyle Sandera of Newlife Baptist Church in San Diego, California says that an unanticipated large crowd at Sunday service this past weekend... Read More

Lapsed Catholic Confirms She Is Still Spiritual

27-year-old Sara Matson confirmed to friends yesterday that she was indeed still very spiritual despite no longer attending Mass. Matson, a World Religions teacher... Read More

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Politics

Film Review: Will The New Noah Movie Radically Depart From The Hyper-Environmentalist Themes As Seen In The Biblical Narrative?

Hollywood, CA––With the upcoming Noah movie directed by Darren Aronofsky... Read More

 Iraqi Christian Who Risks Life To Attend Mass Not Super Concerned About Bad Church Music Right Now

    Tel Keppe, Iraq–As Iraqi Christian Raghda Ablahad... Read More

Perfect Meme Reverses Roe v. Wade

In a desperate effort to outdo a pro-life meme that was so great and... Read More

Trump Says That He Will Make Aliens Pay For New Space Force

  President Donald Trump accused Martians of doing nothing to stop... Read More

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Vatican

“Pope Literally Meant A Flamboyantly Decorated Lobby,” Vatican Clarifies

VATICAN–Being interviewed via Skype hours ago, Spokesman for the Vatican Press... Read More

Francis Waives “Five-Century Rule” For Inquiry Into Possible Canonization Of Martin Luther

In a press conference aboard the papal plane this morning, Pope Francis confirmed... Read More

Days After Abolishing “Monsignor” Honor For Priests, Pope Abolishes “Priest” Honor For Seminarians

VATICAN––Days after abolishing the title of “monsignor,” Pope Francis... Read More

Marie Kondo Helps Tidy Up Vatican; Gets Rid Of All But Five Bishops

Telling reporters that he brought in famed organizing consultant Marie Kondo... Read More

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