People Preparing McCarrick Report Same People As Counting Votes In Nevada

After days of ballot counting in Nevada, officials from the state revealed earlier this morning that they were, in fact, the same people that were... Read More

Mass

Vatican Approves New Emoji Translation Of Mass

The Vatican announced today that Pope Francis has approved a new emoji translation of the Mass to help young adults more actively follow along during church services. “We’ve found that most young adults can no longer read complete sentences... Read More

Irish Priests To Extend Confession Times To 8 Hours A Day Because Of “Gargantuan” Number Of Penitents

DUBLIN––At the annual conference of the Association of Catholic Priests in Dublin, pastors from across Ireland gathered to voice their concerns about the “gargantuan” number of Catholics going to confession. “This is a full... Read More

Questions Arise After Mother Neglects To Remove Hysterical Child From Mass

Eugene, OR––In the immediate aftermath of the Mass in which parishioner Heather Thomas neglected to remove her crying child to the cry-room during the homily, family of the 26-year-old mother were quick to blame the non-removal of the... Read More

ICEL Calls For All-Meme Missal Translation For Youth Masses

Citing a need for the Church to “reach out to its estranged youth,” the International Commission on English in the Liturgy requested, and has already begun intensive work on, an all-meme edition of the Roman Missal. Representatives from... Read More

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Libs & Trads

PHOTO: J. Scott Applewhite / AP Photo

Nuns On Bus Scour Ohio In Search Of Misplaced Veils

OHIO––A group of Catholic nuns began a 1,000 mile bus tour through Ohio this week asking locals whether or not they have seen their veils. The group of about... Read More

Dissident Theologian Hans Kung Petitions Pope To Reconsider Dogma Of Christ Resurrection

Image: Wikipedia Commons Famous Swiss theologian Hans Küng has reportedly sent a letter to Pope Francis, asking him to reconsider the Church’s stance on the Resurrection... Read More

New Cirque Du Soleil Show Just A Novus Ordo Mass

Staring in awe as she stared out onto the stage, Las Vegas visitor Allison Garrity was moved to tears Saturday evening after seeing whimsical, beautiful, yet... Read More

Jesuit Celebrates Halloween By Dressing Up In “Priest Costume”

Hoping to surprise his family and friends at Holy Trinity Parish’s annual Halloween Breakfast this morning, local Jesuit Fr. Walter Allen arrived dressed... Read More

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Politics

Recreational Heresy Now Officially Legal in California Parishes

  Roman Catholic dioceses in California began allowing recreational... Read More

Francis Strategically Substitutes Word “Environment” For “Abortion” At Public Address At White House

Credit: Malacañang Photo Bureau In a strategic attempt to speak about... Read More

Parishioners Refuse To Stand During The Our Father

  [News Brief] Catholics parishioners across the U.S. protested during... Read More

Michael Voris Hair, Trump Hair Get Together For Drinks

Just days after Super Tuesday, Donald Trump’s hair reportedly called... Read More

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Vatican

Pope Emeritus Benedict on Papal Interviews: “The Concept of Preventive Clarifications is Not in the Catechism”

Speaking to journalists at his residence inside the Vatican this morning, Pope Emeritus... Read More

Wind Gust Nearly Blows Off Benedict’s Zucchetto, Leading Media To Speculate About More Stuff

VATICAN CITY–Media outlets around the world are buzzing with speculation this... Read More

Pope Francis Signals Possible Openness To Just About Anything At This Point

Pope Francis has said that he is open to the possibility of permitting basically... Read More

Pope Francis Not Sure What To Make Of His Papacy Thus Far

VATICAN CITY––It was announced earlier this afternoon that His Holiness Pope... Read More

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