Francis Changes Mind; Declares 2016 “Year Of Divine Wrath”

August 19, 2015 by  
Filed under Vatican

Hundreds of Catholics gathered in St. Peter’s Square this morning to celebrate the Holy Father’s announcement that 2016 will now be called the Year of Divine Wrath. The announcement came as Pope Francis asked God to rain down fire and brimstone on the world for its corruption and lack of care for the poor.

“It is time, oh Lord, for retributive justice!” Francis yelled into the microphone in front of all those gathered. “Let Judgment Day commence!”

One of the many pilgrims visiting Rome this morning told EOTT shortly after the event that she was “extremely blessed” to have been able to partake in Francis’ call for Armageddon.

“It was such a cool moment,” Adelyn Barnes visiting from Washington D.C. told EOTT shortly after the event. “Just watching all the cute little nuns raising their voices and asking for the fury of God’s wrath to be poured out upon the earth…it gives me goosebumps even now.”

Barnes went on to say that it was moments like this that made her feel so blessed to be Catholic.

“Being able to pray with so many people who are united in their petitions that an angel pour out the seven bowls of God’s wrath on the earth for the destruction we have reaped makes you feel so alive. Anyhow, it’s time I go fill my lamp with oil. Don’t wanna get caught off guard, if you know what I’m saying.”

  • I read that as the seven bowels of God’s wrath and wondered why I’d never heard of them before.

    • I’m going to see if I can find an image of that on Google…

      • dupledge

        Would that mean with Armageddon we would all go through the motions

        • More Tea Vicar?

          It would no longer be ”Dialogue” but ”Diarrhoea”.

    • If there are indeed seven bowels, this will be messy.

    • samton909

      Can you name all seven bowels? Let’s see, there was Grumpy, Sneezy, Slurpy, Dependsy….

      • Wildgraywolf

        K T Cat – there’s something profound in your post, but I can’t put my finger on it.

  • The Technoviking

    Please! Please! 🙂

  • I was envisioning John Hagee doing the yelling, with a huge End Times timetable painted on the wall behind him. Finally, the Pope has gotten on board, and just in time, what with the Blood Moon next week!

  • PJParks

    Time to run up the old credit cards.

  • letsgetreal

    Finally!!! I no longer have to sit and listen to the televangelists screaming the end is coming…so…when is the rapture going to occur? Also…I better get my cat baptized (I know…cats are still going to hell…but hey…who am I to judge?).

    • Jo Flemings

      Hope for the best, be prepared for the worst- right? It’s an old Bosnian proverb.

    • Hotrod1962

      About a week before the end, cats will refuse to use the litter box. They truly are the handmaidens of the devil.

  • AugustaMia

    are the Seven Bowls on the agenda for Synod on Marriage and Family? I want to set up my DVR if so.

    • Jo Flemings

      Bowls 2-4, carefully released at critical moments throughout the talks- you know, kinda like wikileaks….

  • Jo Flemings

    It’s coming people…

  • Kathy Jones

    ummmm Did he happen to mention anything about Planned Parenthood? …just sayin….

  • Philippa Martyr

    Amrageddon sick and tired of this … hur hur hur

    And now, the inevitable responses to this post, which I am providing here as a community service announcement, free of charge:

    a) Is this site for real?
    b) How could you be so mean about the Pope?
    c) If only we all went to the TLM, this would never have happened/happened a lot earlier! [delete where required]
    d) If only we all homeschooled, this would never have happened/happened a lot earlier! [delete where required]

    • Jim

      There has to be an Armageddon knock-knock joke in this somewhere!

      • Hotrod1962

        Knock knock?
        Who’s there?

        (“Silence)

        • Jim

          A knock-knock joke rich in theological depth, even. Way to go, Hotrod!

          • Hotrod1962

            Jim, you give me too much theological insight credit. I’m just a simple man.
            I was born on a mountain top in Tennessee (greenest state in the land of the free). Raised in the woods, so I knew every tree, killed me a bear when I was only three.

          • wiffle

            I suddenly have the urge to wear a coonskin cap. Hmmm..

          • Hotrod1962

            Showing my age there, ain’t I?

  • Grumpy Cat

    Lock and load.

  • Robert Sledz

    It’s about time!!!

  • Michael Leggett

    And Michael Voris will declare this to be “A Bad Translation.”

  • For me, the most moving part of the whole ceremony was the choir of Dominican nuns in full habit with their guitars, singing “Damn them all to Hell” to the tune of “Kumbaya.”

    • samton909

      “Damn em’, eeka eeka eeka, while I sing of damning them…”

      • MrRightWingDave

        I see what you did there.

  • ithakavi

    Lois Lerner immediately converted.

  • samton909

    Oh, he’s just mad everyone is making fun of Laudato Si.

  • Anders Hamberg

    According to confidential sources nowhere near Rome, a new set of mysteries for the holy Rosary are to be announced to kick off the year. The mysteries of wrath will, in a yet to be determined order contain meditations upon the cursing of the fig tree, the cleansing of the temple, the chastising of the pharisees, and other yet to be determined mysteries.

    • Casper

      Hmmm. I’m thinking, the demon-infested pigs going over the cliff?

      • More Tea Vicar?

        There goes breakfast… and for lunch? Devilled Pork.

      • Scott Pauline

        i thought they went into the lake? Either way. 😛

    • Valerien

      Obviously they must include the Proclamation of the Final Judgment (sheep, goats, weeping, gnashing of teeth et al.)

  • Ever mindful

    Hell hath no fury like the wrath of a woman scorned…

  • More scary than this actual story…I am beginning to like this website!!! THAT proves it is the end for sure. I would bet the “Lutheran Satire” guys are in also…

  • Joseph Bernie Reyes

    God
    Our Father, please send us holy priests, all for the Sacred and Eucharistic
    Heart of Jesus. All for the Sorrowful and Immaculate Heart of Mary in union with
    St. Joseph amen.

    Many peoples of Africa will perish, please pray for the peoples of Africa amen
    peace

    As conveyed to the US Cardinals and Bishops. By the Power of the Holy Spirit, the
    Continent of Africa will shake on the 25th day of a month, signifying the
    resting place of the One True Ark of The Covenant of Israel at Axum, Ethiopia
    amen peace

    https://youtu.be/5oqb6ikF6Is

    No one has to believe the Ark of the Covenant is the true presence of the God of
    Israel, but God’s Chosen Peoples of Israel amen. No one has to believe, the
    Holy Eucharist is the true Presence of the Lord Jesus Christ, but the Peoples of
    the Holy Roman Catholic Faith amen. This is the new and Holy Eucharistic
    Sacrifice before the Ark of the Covenant (God of Israel/God The Father), all
    other sacrifice not of the Holy Roman Catholic Faith is the Abomination that
    causes Desolation amen. Peace