Vatican To Issue Martin Luther Tramp Stamps

January 19, 2017 by  
Filed under Vatican

According to several reports out today, the Vatican will be issuing lower back tattoos to Catholics in honor of German priest and protestant reformer Martin Luther this October. Although Martin Luther was declared a heretic and excommunicated in 1521, Vatican officials have reportedly sent letters to all Catholics that are “able and willing” to visit Rome for the “official issuing of the ecclesiastical tramp stamp.” “We... Read More

Ringling Bros. Circus And Its Subsidiary The Vatican To Shut Down In May

January 16, 2017 by  
Filed under Vatican

Image:AlejandroLinaresGarcia

Image:AlejandroLinaresGarcia   After  more than 140 years, the curtain is coming down on “The Greatest Show on Earth,” Roman Curia and Ringling Bros. Circus and Barnum & Bailey Circus board member Bishop Antonio Scarlatti said early Monday morning. The iconic Roman spectacle and its principle Ringling Bros. Circus explained that declining attendance combined with high payroll for most members of the clergy in the curia contributed... Read More

Vatican’s Hit Television Show “World’s Next Top Cardinal” Renewed

January 5, 2017 by  
Filed under Vatican

Image: Carolus

Image: Carolus The most successful elevation reality TV series in Catholic television history, World’s Next Top Cardinal, has been renewed. This Spring, Season 3 of WNTC will be strutting down the center aisle runway on VaricanH1 with a new host, panel members, and a batch of brand new ecclesiastical experts. As always, the competition will feature an all-male cast competing for the coveted auriphrygiata. “In 2017, cardinaling is going... Read More

Pope Francis Seen Walking Around The Vatican Carrying Bloody, Barbed Wire Baseball Bat

December 13, 2016 by  
Filed under Vatican

Rumors out of Rome began swirling yesterday after Pope Francis was seen walking around the Vatican with a bloody, barbed wire baseball bat that many reported hearing the Pontiff refer to as “Saint Lucille.” “It’s really been kinda intense here the past few days,” said Swiss Guard, Luca Shmid. “He’s been walking around with an odd, obnoxious smirk on his face talking about Saint Lucille being thirsty, and... Read More

‘The Walking Pope’ Mid-Season Finale Recap

December 12, 2016 by  
Filed under Vatican

Season 3 of The Walking Pope has been a downward slide for EWTN who produced the hit TV show as well as the pontificate it’s based on. As many viewers have said before, many of the problems stem from Francis’s exhausting form of liberal villainy, but he is not the only problem. Last night’s mid-season finale “Sacred and Immaculate Hearts Still Beating” gave viewers brief glimpses of what made the pontificate work before this season... Read More

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