Bloodied Sister Desperately Scrambling To Get Hold Of Phone Before Chainsaw Nun Arrives

Image-NicksSawMart   In the aftermath of seven unexplained murders at St. Therese Convent in Miami, Florida, local novitiate Sister Martha Mary is... Read More

Mass

Tostitos Fiesta Pentecost Mass One Of Many New Church Sponsorships

Alameda, CA–Following a string of church closures around the country, St. Stephen Parish in Alameda, California has announced plans to have their upcoming Pentecost Mass sponsored by Tostitos. The move comes just months after Los Angeles... Read More

No Laity Found To Bring Up Gifts To Altar; Consecration Delayed Two Hours

  Toronto, Canada––Pastor of St. Dwenden Catholic Church in Toronto, Canada Ben Gregory was forced to postpone the consecration for nearly two hours early Sunday morning after lead usher Kevin Sarkosy was unsuccessful in locating... Read More

Colorado Priest To Appoint Entire Parish Eucharistic Ministers

Loveland, CO––Saint Perpetua Parish Priest Father Nick Farley announced Friday that he would be appointing every single parishioner at his church an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion. “In due respect to the amount of Extraordinary... Read More

Man Goes To Mass To Seek Out Intimate Encounter With Neighbor

Explaining how forcefully and extensively the centrality of an intimate encounter with the person of our neighbor is to the spiritual life, local Catholic Jonathan Duggan invited friends to Mass this morning so that they too could experience the... Read More

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Libs & Trads

Area Baptist Church Runs Out Of Welch’s 100% Grape Juice For Communion

San Diego, CA–Pastor Kyle Sandera of Newlife Baptist Church in San Diego, California says that an unanticipated large crowd at Sunday service this past weekend... Read More

New Study: Sedevacantists Feeling Our Pain…A Lot

Oyster Bay Cove, NY–A new study out today by the Society of St. Pius V reveals that 85% of its members are currently feeling the pain of non-sedevacantist... Read More

Solemn High Requiem Mass Held For The Spirit Of Vatican II

    A Solemn High Requiem Mass was held Thursday at St. Martura Church in downtown Cincinnati for the Spirit of Vatican II, aged 52. After suffering a... Read More

Updated SSPX Catechesis Program To Now Include Fundamentals Of Catholic Trolling

Image: WikiCommons SSPX leadership is preparing to launch a new Catechism program in an effort to help better explain Church teaching and how to best completely... Read More

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Politics

Duck Dynasty Star Removed From Congregation For Bishops Just Days After Burke

VATICAN–Just days after Pope Francis removed former La Crosse bishop... Read More

Rubio And Other Christian Birthers Demand To See Trump’s Baptismal Certificate

Image:Gage Skidmore Marco Rubio attacked Donald Trump on Wednesday, questioning... Read More

Pope Hopes To Strengthen Interfaith Relations In Jerusalem, But Mostly Hoping To Just Stay Alive, Vatican Confirms

JERUSALEM–Fifty years after the historic embrace between the heads... Read More

New Archbishop of Canterbury Makes Compelling Case For Gay Marriage

ENGLAND–The Most Reverend Justin Welby was formally enthroned earlier... Read More

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Vatican

Pope Francis Names Archbishop Cupich As His Successor

Image: Goat_Girl The Vatican announced this week that Chicago Archbishop Blase Cupich... Read More

Zombie Apocalypse At Heart of Evangelii Gaudium

VATICAN––In a recently published document released by the Vatican Tuesday, Pope... Read More

Missing Burke Found Alive After Getting Lost Inside Cappa Magna For Five Days

A desperate search for Cardinal Raymond Burke who went missing for two days in the... Read More

Cardinal Kasper Adds Three Sacraments

Vatican City––Citing the need for the Church to “update herself with modern... Read More

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