“Before Washington Was, I AM,” Trump Tells Reporters

Image: Gage Skidmore Speaking to a small crowd gathered outside the recently relocated American Embassy in Jerusalem, President Trump claimed himself... Read More

Mass

Lazy Man Not Helping To Put Up Kneeler

West Bloomfield, MI––A source out of St. Ulric Catholic Church in West Bloomfield, Michigan confirmed Sunday that parishioner Alexander Ramsey had not lifted a finger to assist in putting up or down the kneeler for the consecration. “I... Read More

Colorado Priest To Appoint Entire Parish Eucharistic Ministers

Loveland, CO––Saint Perpetua Parish Priest Father Nick Farley announced Friday that he would be appointing every single parishioner at his church an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion. “In due respect to the amount of Extraordinary... Read More

Confused Parishioner Won’t Stop Accidently Saying “And Also With You”

photo: Gregory L. Tracy Hoboken, New Jersey––It is being reported today that Timothy Perkins of Our Lady of Fatima Catholic Church in Hoboken, New Jersey continually made the wrong responses at Mass, despite having the new laminated translation... Read More

“Why Ain’t Nobody Singin’ Back the Responsory?” Lector Wondering. “My Arms Is Raised Up High Like They Supposed To Be”

Knoxville, TN––Lector at St. Hildegund Catholic Church in Nashville, Tennessee Helen Banks is currently questioning why parishioners are neglecting to sing the Responsory after clearly being given the cue to respond. “Why ain’t... Read More

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Libs & Trads

Nation’s Catholics Demand Better Catechesis To Better Understand What Teachings To Ignore

Washington, DC––Thousands of the nation’s ill-catechized Catholics protested outside the USCCB headquarters in Washington, DC last night, demanding better... Read More

No One At Mass Sure Whether They At Catholic Or Protestant Service

Despite efforts to figure whether they were in a Catholic or Protestant service, local parishioners were left baffled after an “animated” man wearing vestments... Read More

Mitch Pacwa Expelled From Society Of Jesus After Being Caught With Catechism

  Popular television personality and speaker Fr. Mitch Pacwa has been expelled from the Society of Jesus after being caught in possession of a copy of the... Read More

Cardinal Nichols Asks Priests To Face Him During Mass

In response to Cardinal Sarah’s remarks on celebrating the liturgy ad orientem, Archbishop of Westminster Cardinal Vincent Nichols wrote to his priests yesterday... Read More

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Politics

New Terrorist Video Shows Christians Being Served Coffee In Red Cups

A new terrorist video put out today by Starbucks shows the latest batch... Read More

Family Atheist Disproves Existence Of Grandfather He’s Never Seen

Fort Lauderdale, FL–As debate continued over whether or not it was appropriate for... Read More

Duck Dynasty Star Removed From Congregation For Bishops Just Days After Burke

VATICAN–Just days after Pope Francis removed former La Crosse bishop... Read More

As Syrian Conflict Intensifies, New Jersey Man Urges God To End Jets Quarterback Controversy

East Rutherford, New Jersey––As U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry... Read More

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Vatican

Vatican Invites Hugh Hefner To Join Commission To Study Priestly Celibacy

Ricardo André Frantz   Just days after the U.N. Elected Saudi Arabia to its... Read More

New Annulment Prime Offers 50% Off; Free Shipping

The Vatican announced today that it’s making faster, easier annulments an option... Read More

“Screw It, Just Canonize Them All,” The Vatican Says

VATICAN––The Vatican this morning is announcing that every pope that has ever... Read More

Vatican’s Hit Television Show “World’s Next Top Cardinal” Renewed

Image: Carolus The most successful elevation reality TV series in Catholic television... Read More

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