Grief Counselors Dispatched To San Diego After New Progressive Bishop Named
A mobile team of professional grief counselors and psychologists from Lockword & Sandersen Mental Health, Inc., a clinic based in Raleigh, North Carolina,... Read More
Parish Life
Man On Catholic Match Finally Ready To Message Kristin-51053
San Luis Obispo, CA––31-year-old Chuck-50012 has finally finished writing his message to Kristin-51053 after one month and 17 revisions his friends are now reporting. The web developer, who celebrated his fifth anniversary on Catholic... Read More
German “Bling” Bishop Asks Jesus What He Should Do That He May Have Everlasting Life
Limburg, Germany–Pope Francis has reportedly removed German Bishop Franz-Peter Tebartz-van Elst, dubbed the “bling” bishop, for spending 43 million dollars renovating his home in Limburg, Germany. Friends of the German Bishop told... Read More
17-Year-Old Homeschool Boy Solves Mystery Of Trinity While Mother Combs His Hair
Portland, OR––According to the Brandt family, moments ago, 17-year-old homeschooler Jake Brandt has solved the greatest mystery known to man. Brandt, who had just gotten out of the shower, reportedly worked out and solved the mystery of... Read More
Mystery Priest At Car Accident Revealed, Heralded As Courageous Man Who Wore Clerics In Public
The “Missouri Miracle” mystery priest who ministered to Katie Lentz following a head-on crash with another vehicle came forward yesterday morning and revealed himself on the National Catholic Register. Today we learn more about... Read More
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Mass
Tostitos Fiesta Pentecost Mass One Of Many New Church Sponsorships
Alameda, CA–Following a string of church closures around the country, St. Stephen Parish in Alameda, California has announced plans to have their upcoming... Read More
Confused Parishioner Won’t Stop Accidently Saying “And Also With You”
photo: Gregory L. Tracy Hoboken, New Jersey––It is being reported today that Timothy Perkins of Our Lady of Fatima Catholic Church in Hoboken, New Jersey continually... Read More
Quick-Thinking Parishioners Rush Altar To Assist Lone Priest
Culver City, CA––Parishioners of St. Raymond Catholic Church in Culver City, California were forced to jump into action during Mass early Monday morning when... Read More
Catholic Cyborgs Being Developed To Help Fill Churches
The Congregation for the Development of Mechanical Persons (CDMP) announced today that they have successfully developed their first batch of cyborg parishioners... Read More
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Vatican
Pope To Move Crystal Cathedral To Rome?
(Photo: Crystal Cathedral, 21 June 2005/Nepenthes) Vatican City––According... Read More
What The Hell Kinda Name Is ‘Marcial Maciel,’ Anyway, New Study Asks
VATICAN–The Vatican is asking Catholics to participate in a global... Read More
“Screw It, Just Canonize Them All,” The Vatican Says
VATICAN––The Vatican this morning is announcing that every pope that... Read More
Pope Francis To Investigate Roman Curia On TV Show “Undercover Boss”
ROME–Executives from CBS confirmed Wednesday that Chief Executive... Read More
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Politics
Pope Francis Spends First Day In Korea Wondering Whether He’s In The Good Or Bad Korea
Seoul, Good Korea–The pope read a 10-minute speech in English at the Presidential... Read More
Area Catholic Offended by the Phrase “Merry Christmas”
New York, NY––Local Catholic and Liturgical stickler Gerry Brownstone was offended... Read More
Last Remaining Christian Living In Jerusalem Excited About Papal Visit
JERUSALEM–Just a day before Pope Francis makes his first Papal Visit to the... Read More
Christian Groups Protest to “Keep the Christ in X-Men”
Devout Christian Marvel Comic enthusiasts protest to keep Christ in X-Men ... Read More
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Recent Comments
Grief Counselors Dispatched To San Diego After New Progressive Bishop NamedReally? This is literally the first time I'm hearing this. I'm glad this gentleman gave me this information. Now I'm going to become an unabashed Pagan. Or worse, a Presbyterian.
