People Preparing McCarrick Report Same People As Counting Votes In Nevada

After days of ballot counting in Nevada, officials from the state revealed earlier this morning that they were, in fact, the same people that were... Read More
Mass

USCCB To Consider Implementing Challenge Flags And Instant Replays During Masses
“Parishioners are challenging the orthodoxy of the homily.” Washington, D.C.–As bishops from across the country gather in Washington, D.C. this weekend for the annual USCCB Liturgical Conference, many within the Church are speculating... Read More

Female Parishioners Upset That Men Not Also Being Asked To “Set The Altar” Before Mass
Baker, OR–Female Parishioners at St. John Bosco Parish in Baker, Oregon have sent a letter to Bishop Liam Cary accusing their pastor Fr. Maurice Alvarez as well as Deacon Bob Ley of sexism and chauvinism. The one-page complaint letter... Read More

ICEL Calls For All-Meme Missal Translation For Youth Masses
Citing a need for the Church to “reach out to its estranged youth,” the International Commission on English in the Liturgy requested, and has already begun intensive work on, an all-meme edition of the Roman Missal. Representatives from... Read More

The “Brown Note” Proven True Seconds After “Gather Us In” Begins
The infrasonic sound that some have said causes people to lose control of their bowels was proven true just seconds after the hymn Gather Us In began last Sunday. Director of Acoustic Resonance and Church Worship at the Vatican Michelle Klinsmann... Read More
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Libs & Trads

As 2000th Anniversary of Pentecost Approaches, God Still Refuses to Clarify Ambiguous Passages of Scripture
Advocates of family values and traditional marriage spoke out today, demanding again that Jesus Christ clarify his words, “If any one comes to me and does... Read More

Nation’s Catholics Demand Better Catechesis To Better Understand What Teachings To Ignore
Washington, DC––Thousands of the nation’s ill-catechized Catholics protested outside the USCCB headquarters in Washington, DC last night, demanding better... Read More

Pope Francis Calls Ten Commandments Too Rigid
[News Brief] Pope Francis on Monday warned against the excessive rigidity of the Ten Commandments and said “God gives us the freedom to search our own... Read More

Notre Dame Linebacker Duped Into Playing For Fake Catholic University
South Bend, IN––According to sources within the University of Notre Dame last week, star linebacker Manti Te’o was “duped” into attending... Read More
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Politics

New Terrorist Video Shows Christians Being Served Coffee In Red Cups
A new terrorist video put out today by Starbucks shows the latest batch... Read More

Supreme Court Demands Apology From God For Sodom And Gomorrah
Just hours after ruling that all Americans, no matter their sexual orientation,... Read More

Bombing Of St. Augustine High School Traced To Manicheans
Nashville, TN–Police officials reported that their investigation... Read More

Iraqi Christian Who Risks Life To Attend Mass Not Super Concerned About Bad Church Music Right Now
Tel Keppe, Iraq–As Iraqi Christian Raghda Ablahad... Read More
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Vatican
Pope Francis Mandates All Catholics Convert To Lutheranism In New Apostolic Exhortation

Just hours after Pope Francis published his latest work Reformatio Si, Catholic... Read More
Many Disappointed First-Ever Black, Jewish, Woman, Lesbian Pope Not Elected

A Catholic Argentinian Man VATICAN–Sadness and a general sense of ennui... Read More
Francis Condemns Magnum Principium, Begins Saying Latin Mass After Hitting Head During Popemobile Accident

Image:Zebra48bo Days after the Pontiff sustained injuries after hitting his... Read More
“Well, That Was A Complete Bust,” Francis Tells Crowd Moments Before Cancelling Remainder Of Year Of Mercy

Image: Wikicommons During his general audience this week in Saint Peter’s Square,... Read More