Vatican Invites Hugh Hefner To Join Commission To Study Priestly Celibacy

Ricardo André Frantz

Ricardo André Frantz   Just days after the U.N. Elected Saudi Arabia to its Women’s Rights Commission, the Vatican announced this week that Pope... Read More

Mass

CHURCH

“We’re Taking All The Good Seats On Christmas, And You’re Gonna Stand There And Like It,” Nominal Catholics Report

YOUR PARISH––”We’re taking every pew and every freaking seat in the house tonight and tomorrow, and you’re just gonna have to stand there and like it,” bitter Christmas/Easter Catholics told the nation’s practicing... Read More

Parishioner Believes She Might Have Just Understood A Word Visiting Nigerian Priest Said During Homily

Claiming that she was almost certain she had comprehend a word the new visiting Nigerian priest used during the homily, longtime parishioner Abby Longworth excitedly turned to friends and fellow parishioners today to inform them of the good... Read More

Pope’s New Crossguard Lightsaber Crosier Stirring Up Controversy With Liturgical Purists

VATICAN — Vatican television took the liturgical world by storm last Friday by giving Catholics their very first official look at a short teaser trailer from the upcoming papal Christmas Mass. Focusing much of the trailer on new cantors... Read More

WOMAN

Parishioner Agnes Day Excited About New Vatican Crackdown On Her Name

Manchester, NH––For over 40 years, Agnes Day, parishioner at St. Luke Parish, has quietly suffered what she called “decades of unnecessary adaptations to her name.” Day, a daily communicant, told Eye of the Tiber how decades... Read More

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Politics

Satanists Sue Fr. Frank Pavone For Copyright Infringement

Officials at the Satanic organization Blaspheme Inc. announced today that they are suing Father Frank Pavone for copyright infringement after the pro-life advocate... Read More

Image: AndrewHermiz

Michael Voris Hair, Trump Hair Get Together For Drinks

Just days after Super Tuesday, Donald Trump’s hair reportedly called Texas Catholic and apologist Michael Voris’ hair to “comb on over to the bar” to celebrate... Read More

Image:Gage Skidmore

Rubio And Other Christian Birthers Demand To See Trump’s Baptismal Certificate

Image:Gage Skidmore Marco Rubio attacked Donald Trump on Wednesday, questioning his eligibility to speak as a Christian running for office by creating uncertainty... Read More

Photo: Gage Skidmore

Christian Groups Protest to “Keep the Christ in X-Men”

Devout Christian Marvel Comic enthusiasts protest to keep Christ in X-Men                       Photo: Gage Skidmore Shelby, MI–Decrying the recent... Read More

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Libs & Trads

Local Parents Paying $10,000 A Year In Catholic Tuition To Have Son Learn The Fundamentals Of Other Religions

Facing financial ruin due to the high cost of trying to provide their... Read More

New Evidence Reveals The Mass Was Founded In 1965

Los Angeles, CA–A Loyola Marymount professor Wednesday found what... Read More

Breaking Bad

Breaking Bad Finale: Walter White’s Issues Revealed As Consequence Of Poor Childhood Catechesis

Albuquerque, NM–After five seasons, the critically acclaimed AMC... Read More

Doctor William Manders interviewed about Novus Ordo testing on Sedevacantist.

Scientists Test Effects of Novus Ordo On Longtime Sedevacantist

Dr. William Manders interviewed about Novus Ordo testing on Sedevacantist. Los... Read More

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Parish Life

Purr-iest Says Meow Culpa At Wrong Part of Cat Mass

Cat-alina Island, CA–Speaking to his congregation after the 9:00am Cat Mass... Read More

Friend’s Excuses For Not Making It To Mass Getting Pretty Elaborate

Pittsburgh, PA–– After having skipped Mass for 11 out of the past 13 Sundays,... Read More

Area Man Gives Himself Dispensation From Mass In Honor Of Solemnity Of NFL Week 1

Baton Rouge, LA–Baton Rouge Catholic Julian White announced early Saturday... Read More

Coolest Catholic Guy In Parish Calls Jesus “JC”

According to friends of the coolest Catholic guy in the parish, local parishioner... Read More

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