Parish Council Places Severed Horse Head On Pastor’s Bed As A Warning


Local pastor Fr. Richard Woltz woke up beside the severed head of his prize thoroughbred this morning after refusing a request from parish council leader... Read More


Vatican Approves New Emoji Translation Of Mass

The Vatican announced today that Pope Francis has approved a new emoji translation of the Mass to help young adults more actively follow along during church services. “We’ve found that most young adults can no longer read complete sentences... Read More


One Million Youth Visit Rio To See Pope On Large Screen

Rio de Janerio, Brazil––Media sources confirm that nearly one million Catholic young people from nearly every country in the world put aside their lives and traveled to Brazil to catch a glimpse of the Holy Father Pope Francis projected... Read More


Fr. Zuhlsdorf Installs Electric Altar Rails; 2 Women Injured

Madison, WI––It is being reported that the two unidentified Catholics who rushed the altar this morning to assist Fr. John Zuhlsdorf during the Mass were injured after they were shocked by electric altar rails installed by the priest.... Read More


Man Drops $10 In Donation Basket Like He’s Some Kind Of Beverly Hills Millionaire

Atherton, CA––In what many witnesses are calling “a stunning act of generosity,” a mysterious parishioner was spotted placing a $10 bill into the donation basket at the St. Mark’s Catholic Church 9:00 am Mass as though... Read More

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 Iraqi Christian Who Risks Life To Attend Mass Not Super Concerned About Bad Church Music Right Now

    Tel Keppe, Iraq–As Iraqi Christian Raghda Ablahad and three other family members risked their lives to attend Sunday Mass in Tel Keppe, Iraq,... Read More

Image: neon-tommy

Meryl Streep Takes Aim At Dubia During Golden Globes Speech

Image: neon-tommy Just moments after being honored at the Golden Globes for her lifetime of work, actress Meryl Streep took the opportunity to make a sustained attack... Read More

Everyone just chill out!

Italian Doctor Prescribes Israel, Palestine High Dose Of Chill Pill

ROME––At the request of Pope Benedict XVI, Rome’s foremost family counselor Dr. Umberto Navarro announced today that he has sat down with Israel... Read More

Ireland Approves Reentry Of Snakes Into Country By Popular Vote

Ireland overwhelmingly approved a referendum to allow “snakes” back in the country on Saturday, becoming the first country in the world to allow such a move... Read More

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Libs & Trads


Report: All That Really Matters Is Having A Good Heart

Portland, OR–A new study released today by millions of Catholics... Read More

Upon all thee that follow me, I impart my apostolic blessing

Pope Michael Doesn’t Know What All The Commotion Is About

Belvue, KS–Sources close to Pope Michael are strongly denying reports... Read More

Jesus Juice

Area Baptist Church Runs Out Of Welch’s 100% Grape Juice For Communion

San Diego, CA–Pastor Kyle Sandera of Newlife Baptist Church in San... Read More


SSPX Excommunicates Renegade Bishop For Installing Bishops Without Approval

Peoria, AZ – SSPX Arizona Bishop Gerald Leif confirmed Thursday that... Read More

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Vatican Considering Possibility Of Allowing Priests To Confess Their Sins In The Mirror

Ricardo André Frantz

Image: Ricardo André Frantz Pope Francis has established a commission to study... Read More

Pope Francis Sneaks Out Of Vatican At Night In Disguise To Help Poor, Fight Crime


  VATICAN–A recent interview with the Papal Alomner Archbishop Konrad... Read More

Francis Found Weeping In Vatican Men’s Restroom After Learning Of Bad Amoris Laetitia Reviews

Image: Wikicommons

Image: Wikicommons Sources confirmed Thursday that Pope Francis was found crawled... Read More

No Winner In Vatican Powerball Lottery; Jackpot Now Estimated 700 Million Indulgences

Image: Wikicommons

Image: Wikicommons The largest jackpot in Vatican history — now an estimated... Read More

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