Grief Counselors Dispatched To San Diego After New Progressive Bishop Named

A mobile team of professional grief counselors and psychologists from Lockword & Sandersen Mental Health, Inc., a clinic based in Raleigh, North Carolina,... Read More

Parish Life

CHUCK

Man On Catholic Match Finally Ready To Message Kristin-51053

San Luis Obispo, CA––31-year-old Chuck-50012 has finally finished writing his message to Kristin-51053 after one month and 17 revisions his friends are now reporting. The web developer, who celebrated his fifth anniversary on Catholic... Read More

German “Bling” Bishop Asks Jesus What He Should Do That He May Have Everlasting Life

Limburg, Germany–Pope Francis has reportedly removed German Bishop Franz-Peter Tebartz-van Elst, dubbed the “bling” bishop, for spending 43 million dollars renovating his home in Limburg, Germany. Friends of the German Bishop told... Read More

POST

17-Year-Old Homeschool Boy Solves Mystery Of Trinity While Mother Combs His Hair

Portland, OR––According to the Brandt family, moments ago, 17-year-old homeschooler Jake Brandt has solved the greatest mystery known to man. Brandt, who had just gotten out of the shower, reportedly worked out and solved the mystery of... Read More

MysteryPriest

Mystery Priest At Car Accident Revealed, Heralded As Courageous Man Who Wore Clerics In Public

The “Missouri Miracle” mystery priest who ministered to Katie Lentz following a head-on crash with another vehicle came forward yesterday morning and revealed himself on the National Catholic Register. Today we learn more about... Read More

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Mass

TOSTITOS

Tostitos Fiesta Pentecost Mass One Of Many New Church Sponsorships

Alameda, CA–Following a string of church closures around the country, St. Stephen Parish in Alameda, California has announced plans to have their upcoming... Read More

photo: Gregory L. Tracy

Confused Parishioner Won’t Stop Accidently Saying “And Also With You”

photo: Gregory L. Tracy Hoboken, New Jersey––It is being reported today that Timothy Perkins of Our Lady of Fatima Catholic Church in Hoboken, New Jersey continually... Read More

consecration

Quick-Thinking Parishioners Rush Altar To Assist Lone Priest

Culver City, CA––Parishioners of St. Raymond Catholic Church in Culver City, California were forced to jump into action during Mass early Monday morning when... Read More

Catholic Cyborgs Being Developed To Help Fill Churches

The Congregation for the Development of Mechanical Persons (CDMP) announced today that they have successfully developed their first batch of cyborg parishioners... Read More

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Vatican

(Photo: Crystal Cathedral, 21 June 2005/Nepenthes)

Pope To Move Crystal Cathedral To Rome?

(Photo: Crystal Cathedral, 21 June 2005/Nepenthes) Vatican City––According... Read More

Marcial Maciel

What The Hell Kinda Name Is ‘Marcial Maciel,’ Anyway, New Study Asks

VATICAN–The Vatican is asking Catholics to participate in a global... Read More

“Screw It, Just Canonize Them All,” The Vatican Says

VATICAN––The Vatican this morning is announcing that every pope that... Read More

Undercover Pope

Pope Francis To Investigate Roman Curia On TV Show “Undercover Boss”

ROME–Executives from CBS confirmed Wednesday that Chief Executive... Read More

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Politics

Pope Francis Spends First Day In Korea Wondering Whether He’s In The Good Or Bad Korea

Seoul, Good Korea–The pope read a 10-minute speech in English at the Presidential... Read More

Area Catholic Offended by the Phrase “Merry Christmas”

ADVENT

New York, NY––Local Catholic and Liturgical stickler Gerry Brownstone was offended... Read More

Last Remaining Christian Living In Jerusalem Excited About Papal Visit

israel_jerusalem

JERUSALEM–Just a day before Pope Francis makes his first Papal Visit to the... Read More

Christian Groups Protest to “Keep the Christ in X-Men”

Photo: Gage Skidmore

Devout Christian Marvel Comic enthusiasts protest to keep Christ in X-Men      ... Read More

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