People Preparing McCarrick Report Same People As Counting Votes In Nevada

After days of ballot counting in Nevada, officials from the state revealed earlier this morning that they were, in fact, the same people that were... Read More
Mass

SSPX Chess Player Creates Bishop Pieces Without World Chess Federation Approval
Image: Benjamin Fishman Society of St. Pius X chess grandmaster Larcel Mafebvre has turned four of his pieces into bishops without approval from the World Chess Federation, officials have confirmed. “Mr. Mafebvre has, without approval... Read More

New Eco-Friendly Church Using Biodegradable Chalice
LONDON––Speaking to an assembly of Catholic priests in London yesterday, Pastor of St. Philip Neri Catholic Church in nearby Chigwell, England Fr. Timothy Rooney announced yesterday that he would be transforming his church into a more... Read More

Thousands Camp Outside Churches In Anticipation Of Black Friday Masses
Hundreds of church-goers stamped into Saint Theresa Parish on Black Friday, 2011, just moments before four are tragically trampled to death. As anticipated, thousands of church-goers have already camped out in front of churches all across the... Read More

One Million Youth Visit Rio To See Pope On Large Screen
Rio de Janerio, Brazil––Media sources confirm that nearly one million Catholic young people from nearly every country in the world put aside their lives and traveled to Brazil to catch a glimpse of the Holy Father Pope Francis projected... Read More
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Libs & Trads
Catholics For Choice Asks Vatican To Allow Abortions In Cases of Rape, Incest, Impending Prom
The pro-choice organization Catholics for Choice today sent a request to the Vatican asking them to ease restrictions on abortion in cases of rape, incest, and impending... Read More

Jesuit Celebrates Halloween By Dressing Up In “Priest Costume”
Hoping to surprise his family and friends at Holy Trinity Parish’s annual Halloween Breakfast this morning, local Jesuit Fr. Walter Allen arrived dressed... Read More

Area Baptist Church Runs Out Of Welch’s 100% Grape Juice For Communion
San Diego, CA–Pastor Kyle Sandera of Newlife Baptist Church in San Diego, California says that an unanticipated large crowd at Sunday service this past weekend... Read More

Lapsed Catholic Confirms She Is Still Spiritual
27-year-old Sara Matson confirmed to friends yesterday that she was indeed still very spiritual despite no longer attending Mass. Matson, a World Religions teacher... Read More
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Politics

Cardinal Dolan, Pope Francis Can’t Seem To Find A Case For Excommunicating Andrew Cuomo
Image: Pat Arnow Conceding that, though the Catholic Church would... Read More

God Apparently Hates Brazil
Kingdom of Heaven––Speaking from His Eternal Throne of Cherubim,... Read More

Vatican Opens Cause Of Canonization For Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg After Mistakenly Believing Her Dead And Incorrupt
Much to its embarrassment, it was discovered this week that the Congregation... Read More

Russian Orthodox Church Accused Of Doping Parishioners To Gain Spiritual Advantage
With Armageddon just around the corner, the Russian Orthodox Church is... Read More
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Vatican
New Annulment Prime Offers 50% Off; Free Shipping

The Vatican announced today that it’s making faster, easier annulments an option... Read More
Burke Named Head Of Vatican’s Congregation Of Janitorial Services

The Vatican announced today that Pope Francis has named Cardinal Raymond Burke to... Read More
Pope Francis Seen Walking Around The Vatican Carrying Bloody, Barbed Wire Baseball Bat

Rumors out of Rome began swirling yesterday after Pope Francis was seen walking... Read More
Pope, Bishops Decide It’s Finally Time To Do Something About Sexual Abuse Crisis After YouTube Goes Offline

Pope Francis and bishops from around the globe unanimously decided to actually... Read More