SSPX Vehemently Protesting Canonization of St. Peter

VATICAN––Members of the Society of St. Pius X have stormed the internet and radio waves in violent protest against the upcoming canonization of Pope... Read More

Political

Duck Dynasty

Duck Dynasty Star Removed From Congregation For Bishops Just Days After Burke

VATICAN–Just days after Pope Francis removed former La Crosse bishop Cardinal Raymond Burke from his seat on the Vatican’s Congregation for Bishops,  Francis today removed Phil Robertson, one of the stars of the A&E reality show... Read More

CHS

Bombing Of St. Augustine High School Traced To Manicheans

Nashville, TN–Police officials reported that their investigation following last week’s tragic bombing of St. Augustine Academy for Boys has led them to three possible suspects, members of an underground Manichean ring of terrorists... Read More

Pope’s Peace Doves Attacked By Metaphors

VATICAN–In a gesture at the Vatican’s annual “Caravan of Peace,” Pope Francis happily watched as two children at his side released a pair of white doves as symbols of peace and unity from the window of the Apostolic... Read More

Lila Rose Goes Undercover As Fetus

In an astounding show of acting dexterity, Lila Rose, President of the anti-abortion organization, Live Action, went undercover as a fetus at an area Planned Parenthood this week. Rose, best known for going undercover as a 15 year old pregnant... Read More

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Parish Life

LIKE US

Area Man Can Finally Hold Head High After “Liking” Jesus On Facebook

Madison, WI––While watching the NBA playoffs and ferociously pounding down an entire six-pack in lieu of Mass this afternoon, 32-year-old off-again, off-again... Read More

5-Year-Old Parishioner Thinks Being Removed From Mass During Homily For Children’s Ministry A Complete Load Of Bull Crap

Beaverton, OR–Speaking to a group of children gathered in a room next to St. Margret Catholic Church in Beaverton, Oregon this Sunday, 5-year-old parishioner... Read More

399px-St-thomas-aquinas

Self-Proclaimed Thomist Admits He Knows Nothing Of Thomas

Spokane, WA––It was reported this week that Gonzaga University grad and self-proclaimed Thomist Stephen Hillers knows virtually nothing about the works of... Read More

Troll

Catholic Blog Reader Patiently Waiting Opportunity To Lambast Someone On Thread

Tifton, GA–Catholic troll Phillip Karabin, writing under the handle P90XcelsisDeo, has been patiently scouring the internet looking to passionately defend... Read More

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Mass

Orchestra

Maestro Who Conducts Symphony With Back Facing Audience Labelled Radical Traditional

Albuquerque, New Mexico––After conducting his first symphony since... Read More

SSSSSSSIIIIIIIIIII

Developing: Sick Man Attempting To Shake Your Hand During Sign Of Peace

Fort Worth, TX––It is being reported this second that the sick man... Read More

"Parishioners are challenging the orthodoxy of the homily."

USCCB To Consider Implementing Challenge Flags And Instant Replays During Masses

“Parishioners are challenging the orthodoxy of the homily.” Washington,... Read More

CHURCH

“We’re Taking All The Good Seats On Christmas, And You’re Gonna Stand There And Like It,” Nominal Catholics Report

YOUR PARISH––”We’re taking every pew and every freaking... Read More

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Vatican

Local Doctor Tells Patient to Stop Being “Obsessed” with his Cancer

Dr

Minneapolis, MN––Dr. Simon Townsend, in an interview with United States Magazine,... Read More

Archbishop Gerhard Müller To LCWR Nuns: “Shhh!”

GERMAN ARCHBISHOP GERHARD L. MULLER

VATICAN––Prefect of the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith Archbishop... Read More

Man Sits Through Entire St. Therese Film; Second John XXIII Miracle Now Confirmed

JohnXXIII

Murrieta, CA––Just weeks after Pope Francis waived the second miracle requirement for... Read More

Many Disappointed First-Ever Black, Jewish, Woman, Lesbian Pope Not Elected

A Catholic Argentinian Man

  A Catholic Argentinian Man VATICAN–Sadness and a general sense of ennui... Read More

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