Ford Debuts New RAD-TRAD X9 Van

Van

  Just in time for back-to-homeschool, Ford’s roll-out of the new RAD-TRAD X9 is a nod toward its largest conversion van market segment: radical... Read More

Mass

WOMAN

Parishioner Agnes Day Excited About New Vatican Crackdown On Her Name

Manchester, NH––For over 40 years, Agnes Day, parishioner at St. Luke Parish, has quietly suffered what she called “decades of unnecessary adaptations to her name.” Day, a daily communicant, told Eye of the Tiber how decades... Read More

$10

Man Drops $10 In Donation Basket Like He’s Some Kind Of Beverly Hills Millionaire

Atherton, CA––In what many witnesses are calling “a stunning act of generosity,” a mysterious parishioner was spotted placing a $10 bill into the donation basket at the St. Mark’s Catholic Church 9:00 am Mass as though... Read More

handsanit_1

Eucharistic Minister Sanitizing Hell Out Of Hands Before Distributing Communion

Local Eucharistic Minister Courtney Smith has been sanitizing the living hell out her hands for the past two minutes in preparation of distributing Holy Communion, parishioners are reporting. According to parishioners at the 9:30 morning Mass... Read More

HazelDeltaTrinity

Folk Mass Band Upset Over Masses Interrupting Their Concerts

Yonkers, NY––Blake Jennings, lead guitarist at St. Therese Parish in Yonkers, New York is outraged over what he calls “years of concerts being interrupted by the Mass.” The 56-year-old accountant and father of three has played... Read More

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Parish Life

Ushers Boldly Enter Church For Unprecedented Fourth Collection

In what many are calling a supernatural display of audacity, ushers at St. Perpetua Catholic Church have made their way back into the church for a record breaking... Read More

Purr-iest Says Meow Culpa At Wrong Part of Cat Mass

Cat-alina Island, CA–Speaking to his congregation after the 9:00am Cat Mass yesterday, pastor of St. Francis of Assisi Catholic Church in Cat-alina Island,... Read More

before and after

Renovation Construction for Rio Shuttlecock Cathedral Nearing Completion

A before and after image of the soon to be fully renovated Shuttlecock Cathedral in Rio. RIO DE JANEIRO––As construction efforts to renovate Rio De Janeiro’s cathedral into... Read More

Rude, Ungrateful 9-Month-Old Crying All Throughout Mass

Billings, MT–In one of the most childish and ungrateful spectacles ever witnessed in St. Margaret Parish in Billings, Montana, 9-month-old Isabella Stone... Read More

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Vatican

Image: Wikicommons

No Winner In Vatican Powerball Lottery; Jackpot Now Estimated 700 Million Indulgences

Image: Wikicommons The largest jackpot in Vatican history — now an... Read More

Vatican Picks Up Free Agent Tim Tebow

VATICAN––Last year, after being released by his second NFL team, Tim... Read More

Image: Andrew Hermiz

Pope Francis Accidentally Misplaces Keys To The Kingdom Of Heaven

Image: Andrew Hermiz   Saying that he could’ve sworn he put them... Read More

Zombie Apocalypse

Zombie Apocalypse At Heart of Evangelii Gaudium

VATICAN––In a recently published document released by the Vatican... Read More

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Politics

As Syrian Conflict Intensifies, New Jersey Man Urges God To End Jets Quarterback Controversy

Jets QB Controversy

East Rutherford, New Jersey––As U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry effectively... Read More

Pope Francis Spends First Day In Korea Wondering Whether He’s In The Good Or Bad Korea

Seoul, Good Korea–The pope read a 10-minute speech in English at the Presidential... Read More

St. Patrick’s Day Drunks And Gluttons Afraid Inclusion Of Gay Group At Parade Will Make Mockery Of Feast Day

New York, NY–The nation’s St. Patrick’s day drunks and gluttons expressed... Read More

Francis’ General Audience Address Bears Striking Resemblance To Melania Trump Speech

Image: Mark Nozell (Flikr)

Image: Mark Nozell (Flikr) A number of paragraphs from Pope Francis’ Wednesday... Read More

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