New Research May Prove Santa Was Inspiration For Fabled Third-Century Saint

  After close to a decade of research, historians from the University of America announced Wednesday that the fabled third-century saint, known to... Read More

Mass

Catholic Cyborgs Being Developed To Help Fill Churches

The Congregation for the Development of Mechanical Persons (CDMP) announced today that they have successfully developed their first batch of cyborg parishioners to help fill pews. The exciting news comes as the Church struggles with a world-wide... Read More

New Text Message Mass All The Rage At Gonzaga University

Spokane, Washington–Expressing sadness for the lack of attention from parishioners during Sunday Masses, Gonzaga University priest Fr. John Conti has recently instituted an all new “Text-Message-Only Mass.” The Gonzaga... Read More

After 26 Weeks Of Anticipation, 27th Sunday In Ordinary Time Just Around Corner

Thousands flock to St. Peter’s to reserve spots for Mass during the 27th Sunday in Ordinary Time. The Christian West––After 26 weeks of eager anticipation, it was reported today that hundreds of millions of Catholics from across the... Read More

SSPX Chess Player Creates Bishop Pieces Without World Chess Federation Approval

Image: Benjamin Fishman Society of St. Pius X chess grandmaster Larcel Mafebvre has turned four of his pieces into bishops without approval from the World Chess Federation, officials have confirmed. “Mr. Mafebvre has, without approval... Read More

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Libs & Trads

“Sedevacantist Singles” Employees Not Sure Whether To Recognize Authority Of Company President

Seattle, WA–After being called in to a meeting by Sedevacantist Singles President Michael Hoffman early Thursday morning, employees of the ultra-traditionalist... Read More

PHOTO: J. Scott Applewhite / AP Photo

Nuns On Bus Scour Ohio In Search of Misplaced Veils

OHIO––A group of Catholic nuns began a 1,000 mile bus tour through Ohio this week asking locals whether or not they have seen their veils. The group of about... Read More

Man Fondly Remembers Time When A Man Could Read Bible In Public Without Fear Of Being Ridiculed, Beheaded

New Philadelphia––Thinking back to a time long ago, 80-year-old New Philadelphian Gary Walker told his grandchildren that he remembered a time when a man... Read More

Jack Chick Having Heated Debate With Saint Peter At Pearly Gates

Image:Brendan Riley Evangelical cartoonist Jack Chick whose tracts spread biblical messages to the pagan world, as well as notified a billion Roman Catholics that... Read More

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Vatican

Cardinal Burke Demoted To Chaplain Of Akron RubberDucks Minor League Baseball Team

Akron, OH–Pope Francis has reportedly planned to remove Cardinal... Read More

Imam Agrees That Catholics Shouldn’t Breed Like Rabbits

Just a day after Pope Francis told Catholics that they should not feel... Read More

Pope Francis Not Sure How To Make Sense Of What He Just Said

VATICAN–Speaking to pilgrims during his weekly Wednesday audience... Read More

Pope’s Announcement Regarding Potentially Allowing Married Men To Enter Priesthood Gives Hope To Nation’s Chalice Chippers

  Pope Francis has reportedly taken the first step in allowing married... Read More

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Politics

Mosul Muslims Delight Christian Neighbors with “One-Eyed Willy” Smiley Faces

Mosul, IRAQ––The Western Media is reporting a growing new trend in Iraq’s... Read More

Pope Francis Accuses Benedict XVI Of Wiretapping His Confessional

The Vatican has refused to say whether an apology was in the works after eavesdropping... Read More

Catholic Democrats Vote In Referendum To Secede From Catholicism

Washington—Catholic Democrats voted to secede from the Catholic Church in a referendum... Read More

Cardinal Dolan Bans Chaldean Rite Catholics From Entering Diocese For 90 Days

Cardinal Timothy Dolan’s move to ban thousands of Chaldean Rite Catholics from... Read More

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