Report: Some People Actually Go To Adoration At Two In The Morning

Image: Nheyob

Image: Nheyob According to a report out today by the USCCB, some Catholics actually wake up in the middle of the night and go to Holy Hour instead of going... Read More

Mass

DRUGS

Liturgical Dancer Tests Positive For Performance-Enhancing Drugs

It is being reported this morning that world-renowned liturgical dancer Doris Griffin has tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs. A USCCB spokesman said that trace amounts of an illegal substance were found in Griffin’s blood... Read More

Mass Meme (1)

ICEL Calls For All-Meme Missal Translation For Youth Masses

Washington, DC––Citing a need for the Church to “reach out to its estranged youth,” the International Commission on English in the Liturgy requested, and has already begun intensive work on, an all-meme edition of the Roman Missal.... Read More

Pope’s New Crossguard Lightsaber Crosier Stirring Up Controversy With Liturgical Purists

VATICAN — Vatican television took the liturgical world by storm last Friday by giving Catholics their very first official look at a short teaser trailer from the upcoming papal Christmas Mass. Focusing much of the trailer on new cantors... Read More

EMHC

“Extraordinary Mass Should Not Be The Norm,” Extraordinary Minister Of Holy Communion Reporting

Pigeon Forge, Tennessee––Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion Ernest Robbins is reporting to friends and family that the Extraordinary Form of the Liturgy “should never become the norm,” but that it should “remain... Read More

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Libs & Trads

Daylight Savings News: Sedevacantist Family Moves Clocks Back Seven Centuries

After having set the family clock back seven centuries for daylight savings this past weekend, patriarch of a local sedevacantist family told EOTT this morning... Read More

New Orlando Parish To Be Named “Our Lady Of Good Intentions”

Orlando, FL––After months of debate, officials have confirmed that a new Catholic church slated to be built this summer has officially been named Our Lady of... Read More

Newly Revealed Catacomb Painting Undeniable Proof That Women Were Able To Raise Hands In Air In Early Church

VATICAN–Newly restored frescoes from the Catacombs of Priscilla were unveiled by the Vatican on Tuesday, some of which reveal that women in early Christianity... Read More

SSPX Acolyte Stumbles During Offertory; Mass Deemed Invalid

Tempe, AZ––12-year-old acolyte Jake Brody atoned for his sin Sunday for having negligently stumbled on his way to the altar earlier that morning. The Mass... Read More

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Politics

OD

Head Of Opus Dei Reaffirms Prelature Not A Cult

ROME––Bishop Javier Echevarria Rodriguez, head of the Prelature of... Read More

Kevin Lamarque / Reuters

Biden and Ryan End Debate With Recitation Of Rosary

Kevin Lamarque / Reuters Danville, KY––After a heated and combative... Read More

Former Vice President Joe Biden attending Pope Francis' Installation Mass.

[Breaking] Biden Steps Down As VP Hours After Becoming Pro-Life

Former Vice President Joe Biden attending Pope Francis’ Installation... Read More

Bill-Donohue

Catholic League’s William Donohue Offended About Something

New York, NY––It is being reported to Eye of the Tiber at this hour... Read More

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Vatican

Second Synod To Focus On Learning Fundamentals Of Catholic Doctrine

VATICAN–It was announced today that a second synod, tentatively scheduled... Read More

Pope Francis Sneaks Out Of Vatican At Night In Disguise To Help Poor, Fight Crime

PAPA

  VATICAN–A recent interview with the Papal Alomner Archbishop Konrad... Read More

Zombie Apocalypse At Heart of Evangelii Gaudium

Zombie Apocalypse

VATICAN––In a recently published document released by the Vatican Tuesday, Pope... Read More

Second Paul VI Miracle Approved After Priest Gives Homily On Humanae Vitae

VATICAN—Just days after Pope Paul VI moved one step closer to canonization after... Read More

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