Millions Around The World Shocked To Learn They’ve Been Mourning The Destruction Of A Catholic Cathedral

Telling news reporters that they were in “utter disbelief” that they’ve been mourning the destruction of what they mistakenly believed was nothing... Read More


Parishioner Believes She Might Have Just Understood A Word Visiting Nigerian Priest Said During Homily

Claiming that she was almost certain she had comprehend a word the new visiting Nigerian priest used during the homily, longtime parishioner Abby Longworth excitedly turned to friends and fellow parishioners today to inform them of the good... Read More

No Laity Found To Bring Up Gifts To Altar; Consecration Delayed Two Hours

  Pastor of St. Dwenden Catholic Church Ben Gregory was forced to postpone the consecration for nearly two hours earlier this morning after lead usher Kevin Sarkosy was unsuccessful in locating anyone willing to bring up the bread... Read More

Colorado Priest To Appoint Entire Parish Eucharistic Ministers

Loveland, CO––Saint Perpetua Parish Priest Father Nick Farley announced Friday that he would be appointing every single parishioner at his church an Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion. “In due respect to the amount of Extraordinary... Read More

Thousands Camp Outside Churches In Anticipation Of Black Friday Masses

Hundreds of church-goers stamped into Saint Theresa Parish on Black Friday, 2011, just moments before four are tragically trampled to death. As anticipated, thousands of church-goers have already camped out in front of churches all across the... Read More

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Italian Doctor Prescribes Israel, Palestine High Dose Of Chill Pill

ROME––At the request of Pope Benedict XVI, Rome’s foremost family counselor Dr. Umberto Navarro announced today that he has sat down with Israel... Read More

Imperial Jury Indicts Luke Skywalker; Galactic Empire Cleared

Credit: Wikicommons An imperial grand jury investigating criminal allegations against the Galactic Empire stemming from a series of undercover videos instead indicted... Read More

Trump Says That He Will Make Aliens Pay For New Space Force

  President Donald Trump accused Martians of doing nothing to stop aliens from crossing into Earth, and repeated his presidential campaign pledge that Martians... Read More

Breaking: Your Side Will Win The Midterm Elections Today Because Of Your Comment On A Facebook Post

  In what many are calling a spectacular turn of events, pollsters are now saying that the midterm election today will be won by your side because of a single,... Read More

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Libs & Trads

Black Sheep Dog, John Corapi, Issues Apology

Hudson, NY––Former S.O.L.T. priest, John Corapi, has apologized today... Read More

Christendom College Student Won’t Shut Up With The Latin Already

“Colligium Christendum in Virginium est. Christendum bonum scholasticum... Read More

Jesuit Celebrates Halloween By Dressing Up In “Priest Costume”

Hoping to surprise his family and friends at Holy Trinity Parish’s... Read More

Report: Some 2nd Century Roman Christians Hated Latin Mass Because It Was Said In The Vernacular

ROME–A letter written by an anonymous early Roman Christian was... Read More

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Prisoners Break Free From Lunch With Pope To Return To Prison

Image_Michael Coghlan   Two prisoners in Bologna, Italy escaped during their... Read More

Use Of Cell Phones At Mass A “Very Ugly Thing,” Pope Tweets During Mass

  Pope Francis took to Twitter on Wednesday afternoon to chastise some in the... Read More

Pope Francis Tells Total Prick: “God Loves You, But The Rest Of Us Think You’re An Ass”

  A prick, who has been a complete and utter bastard to friends and strangers... Read More

Pope Francis Leads Summit On How To Pretend The Church Is Doing Something About The Abuse Scandal

  Pope Francis has called the presidents from bishops conferences around the... Read More

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