Francis To Visit Kansas To Commemorate 26th Anniversary Of Pope Michael Election To Papacy

Image:AndrewHermez

The Vatican has announced that Pope Francis will visit Kansas in July to commemorate the 26th anniversary of Pope Michael’s election to the papacy,... Read More

Parish Life

Alfred_Nobel

Swede Invents Thicker Confessional Walls; Wins Nobel Prize

Sweden––Alsog Dalgaard of Sweden has been awarded the Nobel Prize for his achievement in work in building thicker, more sound-resistant confessionals. The Nobel Prize committee awarded Dalgard the award “for discovery of ground-breaking... Read More

EOTT2013(2)

Eye Of The Tiber 2013 Year In Review

This January, Canadian pastor Ben Gregor of St. Dwenden Catholic Church was forced to postpone the consecration for nearly two hours after no laity could be found to bring up the gifts to the altar. After being questioned as to why there needed... Read More

2Popes

Francis Much Better Pope Than That Other Guy We Had, Area Nominal Catholic Reports

Des Moines, IA––Telling his son that “This new pope guy is much better than that other one,” earlier this afternoon, area Catholic Bernard Ripley stressed to his son the immense difference he saw in regards to the papacy of... Read More

U.S. Bishops Petition Holy See To Mandate Hand Squeeze Following Doxology

At a press conference today in the nation’s capital, Cardinal Emeritus Roger Mahoney of Los Angeles announced that the USCCB is petitioning the Congregation for Divine Worship and the Sacraments to require that parishioners give a “good,... Read More

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Mass

TOSTITOS

Tostitos Fiesta Pentecost Mass One Of Many New Church Sponsorships

Alameda, CA–Following a string of church closures around the country, St. Stephen Parish in Alameda, California has announced plans to have their upcoming... Read More

$10

Man Drops $10 In Donation Basket Like He’s Some Kind Of Beverly Hills Millionaire

Atherton, CA––In what many witnesses are calling “a stunning act of generosity,” a mysterious parishioner was spotted placing a $10 bill into the... Read More

CHILD

Questions Arise After Mother Neglects To Remove Hysterical Child From Mass

Eugene, OR––In the immediate aftermath of the Mass in which parishioner Heather Thomas neglected to remove her crying child to the cry-room during the homily,... Read More

Android Priests Being Developed To Help Say Mass, Hear Confessions

Prototype clergydroid Fr. SRT4-11392 celebrating its first wedding ceremony. Vatican––The Vatican has confirmed reports today that an agreement has been reached... Read More

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Politics

Bill-Donohue

Catholic League’s William Donohue Offended About Something

New York, NY––It is being reported to Eye of the Tiber at this hour... Read More

ADVENT

Area Catholic Offended by the Phrase “Merry Christmas”

New York, NY––Local Catholic and Liturgical stickler Gerry Brownstone... Read More

President Obama Meets Pope Francis; Explains The Benefits Of Using Teleprompter

VATICAN–The focus of the conversation when President Barack Obama... Read More

NSA

Leaked Documents Reveal NSA Spied On Prayers Of Faithful

According to a new report out this week in the Italian magazine Panorama,... Read More

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Libs & Trads

Pope Encourages Women To Reveal Breasts In Sistine Chapel, Feminist Newspaper Reports

VATICAN––“He is 77, celibate, and the Vicar of Christ; a role which, up until... Read More

Unimaginative Priest Celebrates Themeless Mass

San Francisco, CA–Citing a lack of time and energy, as well as feeling the... Read More

New Orlando Parish To Be Named “Our Lady Of Good Intentions”

Orlando, FL––After months of debate, officials have confirmed that a new Catholic... Read More

New Study Shows Larger Number Of Faithful Catholics Living In Mosul Than In California

According to a new report out today by the Vatican, there are currently more Catholics... Read More

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