Newspaper Fires Staff Writers Amid Allegations That They Had Opinions 

Image: Andrew Hermiz

Image: Andrew Hermiz Two National Catholic Register staff writers have been fired and are now facing possible public flogging after they allegedly... Read More

Mass

Monday Morning Priest Would’ve Said Mass Completely Different

Denver, CO––After having attended Mass yesterday evening, Denver native and layman Jeffrey Baines went on his public access television show Clerical Primetime this morning to criticize his parish pastor Father Roger Manning of quitting... Read More

Lazy Man Not Helping To Put Up Kneeler

West Bloomfield, MI––A source out of St. Ulric Catholic Church in West Bloomfield, Michigan confirmed Sunday that parishioner Alexander Ramsey had not lifted a finger to assist in putting up or down the kneeler for the consecration. “I... Read More

New Eco-Friendly Church Using Biodegradable Chalice

LONDON––Speaking to an assembly of Catholic priests in London yesterday, Pastor of St. Philip Neri Catholic Church in nearby Chigwell, England Fr. Timothy Rooney announced yesterday that he would be transforming his church into a more... Read More

Children's Mass

Catholic School Children Offended By Dumbed Down Homily

El Centro, CA–Students at St. Therese of Carmel Acadamy walked out of Mass confounded earlier this morning after parish priest Fr. Ted Cordova delivered an over simplified homily about the Lord’s command to forgive “not... Read More

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Vatican

Pope Francis Apologizes For Prank Video Message To Evangelicals

Pope Francis is apologizing this morning after it was revealed that a video of the Pontiff calling for “communion” with Protestant communities was actually... Read More

Pope Retracts Punch In The Face Remark; Says He Would Kick Them In Nuts

En route to the Philippines from Sri Lanka yesterday, Pope Francis said that he was ready to “punch” anyone who insults his mother, showing that there... Read More

Undercover Pope

Pope Francis To Investigate Roman Curia On TV Show “Undercover Boss”

ROME–Executives from CBS confirmed Wednesday that Chief Executive Officer of The One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church Pope Francis would be appearing... Read More

Image: Wolfgang Stuck

Brawl Erupts At Synod

Image: Wolfgang Stuck A massive brawl broke out Thursday morning at the Synod during the 90-hour opening address by Hungarian Cardinal Péter Erdo, witnesses are... Read More

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Parish Life

Uruguayan Pastor Bites Rival Priest During Mass

New York, NY—Just a day after Uruguay star Luis Suarez allegedly bit... Read More

New “Crucifix For Her” Product Goes On Sale Just In Time For Christmas

For centuries overly masculine crucifixes dominated the Catholic market,... Read More

Area Man Gives Himself Dispensation From Mass In Honor Of Solemnity Of NFL Week 1

Baton Rouge, LA–Baton Rouge Catholic Julian White announced early... Read More

5-Year-Old Parishioner Thinks Being Removed From Mass During Homily For Children’s Ministry A Complete Load Of Bull Crap

Beaverton, OR–Speaking to a group of children gathered in a room... Read More

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Politics

Catholic High School Freshman Arrested After Taking Homemade Liturgical Calendar To School

Image: Patnac

Image: Patnac   Local police chief Ronald Defray announced today that charges... Read More

Catholic League’s William Donohue Offended About Something

Bill-Donohue

New York, NY––It is being reported to Eye of the Tiber at this hour that Catholic... Read More

Landmark Win For Individuals Who Experience And Act Upon An Exclusive Or Predominant Attraction Toward Persons Of The Same Sex

Supreme Court Ruling

Washington, DC––In a landmark win for thousands of people across America who... Read More

Last Remaining Christian Living In Jerusalem Excited About Papal Visit

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JERUSALEM–Just a day before Pope Francis makes his first Papal Visit to the... Read More

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