Forward-Thinking Traditionalist To Allow Wife To Wear Pants

Pants

  Traditionalist husband Arthur Nash issued his wife of eighteen years, Carla Nash, permission to wear pants “in a manner that is conducive... Read More

Mass

Magic

Priest Magician Performs Folk Mass Illusion; Makes Parishioners Disappear

Las Vegas, NV––Citing a large demand for his Folk Mass illusion, part-time magician Fr. George Richmond of Las Vegas, Nevada told reporters Sunday that he would begin to perform the trick every Sunday at 9:00 am. “I remember last... Read More

Z

Fr. Zuhlsdorf Installs Electric Altar Rails; 2 Women Injured

Madison, WI––It is being reported that the two unidentified Catholics who rushed the altar this morning to assist Fr. John Zuhlsdorf during the Mass were injured after they were shocked by electric altar rails installed by the priest.... Read More

CRIME

Man Found Dead After Botched Homily

A man whose body was found in a pew at St. Cecila’s Church Friday died from blunt trauma to the heart, the San Bernardino County medical examiners office found after autopsies performed this morning. “We can’t say much at... Read More

"Parishioners are challenging the orthodoxy of the homily."

USCCB To Consider Implementing Challenge Flags And Instant Replays During Masses

“Parishioners are challenging the orthodoxy of the homily.” Washington, D.C.–As bishops from across the country gather in Washington, D.C. this weekend for the annual USCCB Liturgical Conference, many within the Church are speculating... Read More

View All Articles in this Category...

Politics

Image: nfutvol

U.S. Bishops Meet In Baltimore To Discuss Churches Providing Safe Spaces From Hostile Catholic Teachings

Image: nfutvol The U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops met in Baltimore yesterday to discuss churches in the United States providing “safe spaces” from hostile... Read More

Image: Joe Ravi

Parish Council Grills Catechumen Nominee At Confirmation Mass

Image: Joe Ravi Catechumen nominee Neil Schlesing said that “no man is above canon law” when pressed on whether Pope Francis could allow divorced and remarried... Read More

Image: Mark Nozell (Flikr)

Francis’ General Audience Address Bears Striking Resemblance To Melania Trump Speech

Image: Mark Nozell (Flikr) A number of paragraphs from Pope Francis’ Wednesday General Audience speech appear to have been lifted from Melania Trump’s Republican... Read More

New Terrorist Video Shows Christians Being Served Coffee In Red Cups

A new terrorist video put out today by Starbucks shows the latest batch of Christmas killers being trained by the terror group called “Barista.” The 9-minute... Read More

View All Articles in this Category...

Vatican

89-Year-Old Journalist Who Reconstructed Francis Interview From Memory Can’t Find His Teeth

ROME––After speculation began to circulate regarding the validity... Read More

Image: Alfredo Borba

“Most Of The Words That Come Out Of My Mouth Are Invalid,” Pope Francis Suggests

Image: Alfredo Borba Pope Francis said Thursday that the majority of the... Read More

A Catholic Argentinian Man

Many Disappointed First-Ever Black, Jewish, Woman, Lesbian Pope Not Elected

  A Catholic Argentinian Man VATICAN–Sadness and a general sense... Read More

Image: Sean Hobson

Four Cardinals Ask Francis To Clarify IKEA Instructions

Image: Sean Hobson Telling the press today that instructions of Pope Francis’... Read More

View All Articles in this Category...

Parish Life

Man In Search Of Answers Closes Eyes, Flips Through Bible, Says “Stop,” “Left Page,” “Right Column”

Bible

Bowling Green, KY––It was reported earlier this morning that 31-year-old Alvin... Read More

USCCB Approves Initiative To Round All Traditionally Built Churches By End Of Next Year

Members of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops announced that they... Read More

Attention Whore Kneels To Receive Communion

Image: Paterm

Image: Paterm Parishioners in the Southwest Indiana confirmed today that new... Read More

Ambitious Woman Chooses To Read “Verse In One Year Bible” As New Year’s Resolution

JesusWept

Charlotte, NC––After having failed to finish her One Year Bible for the third... Read More

View All Articles in this Category...