Pope Francis Meets With Carrot Top

Image: Timothy Evans   American stand-up comedian Scott Thompson, better known as Carrot Top, met with Pope Francis at the Vatican after his Wednesday... Read More

Mass

Monday Morning Priest Would’ve Said Mass Completely Different

Denver, CO––After having attended Mass yesterday evening, Denver native and layman Jeffrey Baines went on his public access television show Clerical Primetime this morning to criticize his parish pastor Father Roger Manning of quitting... Read More

Area Catholic Preparing To Be Notified About Dirt On Forehead All Day Long

Watertown, MN––While receiving ashes on his forehead at St. Ignatius Catholic Church in Watertown, Minnesota early this morning, area Catholic Trevor Davis fervently prayed for patience to endure what he expected to be a “long day... Read More

Confused Parishioner Won’t Stop Accidently Saying “And Also With You”

photo: Gregory L. Tracy Hoboken, New Jersey––It is being reported today that Timothy Perkins of Our Lady of Fatima Catholic Church in Hoboken, New Jersey continually made the wrong responses at Mass, despite having the new laminated translation... Read More

Homily Never Going To End, Sources Confirm

Galveston, TX–Multiple sources at Prince of Peace Catholic Church in Galveston, Texas have just confirmed that parish pastor Fr. Robert Warner is “never going to wrap up his freaking homily.” 29-year-old mother of three Katrin... Read More

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Politics

Russian Orthodox Church Accused Of Doping Parishioners To Gain Spiritual Advantage

With Armageddon just around the corner, the Russian Orthodox Church is in the midst of a massive doping scandal. On Monday, the Court of Spiritual Arbitration upheld... Read More

White Supremacist Catholic Really Hoping That Heaven Is Segregated

  Cradle Catholic and longtime white supremacist Jacob Baton told those gathered at a local rally Monday that he was really hoping, though pretty darn sure,... Read More

Coexist Bumper Sticker Ushers In Era Of World Peace

Thanks to a Coexist bumper sticker spotted on the rear bumper of a local Toyota Prius today, the Organization for World Peace (OWP) has announced that every... Read More

Berkeley Sophomore Anxiously Considering Coming Out Of Closet To Reveal He’s Opposed To Gay Marriage

Berkley, CA–University of California, Berkeley student Emanuel Ramsey revealed to Eye of the Tiber today that he was extremely nervous about possibly coming... Read More

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Parish Life

Permanent Deacon Has An Assistant And Office For Some Reason

  Walking into St. John of the Cross Parish office to deliver their... Read More

“Habemus Papas Fritas!” Waiter Joyfully Announces To Cheering Crowd At Local Restaurant

Image: Keith McDuffee Papas Fritas, sliced potato batons deep-fried in... Read More

USCCB Approves Initiative To Round All Traditionally Built Churches By End Of Next Year

Members of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops announced... Read More

Man On Catholic Match About Ready To Message-Bomb 130 Women

Friends of longtime Catholic Match subscriber Chuck-50012 told authorities... Read More

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Libs & Trads

Cardinal Nichols Asks Priests To Face Him During Mass

In response to Cardinal Sarah’s remarks on celebrating the liturgy ad orientem,... Read More

New Poll Shows 50% Of Catholics Disagree With Jesus’ Stance On Gay Marriage

Novi, MI––A new poll out today shows that about half of Catholics in America... Read More

Notre Dame Celebrates “Coming Out As Episcopalian Day”

  The University of Notre Dame is holding it’s first-ever “Coming Out as... Read More

St. Clare Press Ready To Publish New Non-confrontational Translation Of Bible

Cincinnati, OH––Catholic book publisher and distributer St. Clare Press announced... Read More

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