Cardinal Kaspar Opposes Resettlement Of Traditionalist Refugees In Home Diocese

Cardinal Walter Kaspar’s anger over resettlement of ultra-traditionalist priests into his dioceses took a new turn Thursday as a growing number of German... Read More


Pope Francis Gets Last F-Bomb Out Of System before Giving Up Cussing For Lent

VATICAN–His Holiness Pope Francis shocked the world today during a Papal Audience when he let one last F-Bomb fly before giving up cursing for Lent. “Those of us who are attached to the pleasures of this world, such as gambling,... Read More

A Catholic Argentinian Man

Many Disappointed First-Ever Black, Jewish, Woman, Lesbian Pope Not Elected

  A Catholic Argentinian Man VATICAN–Sadness and a general sense of ennui slowly crept through media outlets, liberal households, and university campuses Wednesday, as the realization became more and more apparent that the Catholic... Read More

A Mayan stone calendar

[Mayan Apocalypse Update] Head Of CDF Tells Liberal Catholics To Hide Until Notified To Come Out

VATICAN––In anticipation of today’s apocalypse, the head of the Congregation of the Doctrine of Faith, Archbishop Gerhard Ludwig Müller, asked liberal Catholic groups around the world to hide until notified that the cataclysmic event... Read More

Vatican Press Office Officially Announces All Phone Lines in Vatican To Be Disconnected For Remainder Of Pontificate

VATICAN––The Vatican Press Office Director Father Federico Lombardi issued a statement to the media today concerning Pope Francis’ recent telephone call to a divorced and remarried Argentine woman, in which he supposedly gave... Read More

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Family Fighting For Good Seats At Christmas Mass With The Zeal Of 12th Century Crusaders

Los Angeles, CA––Reporting that he and his family had been forced from their aisle seat just minutes after acquiring it, 48-year-old Brenden O’Malley... Read More


Priest Magician Performs Folk Mass Illusion; Makes Parishioners Disappear

Las Vegas, NV––Citing a large demand for his Folk Mass illusion, part-time magician Fr. George Richmond of Las Vegas, Nevada told reporters Sunday that he... Read More

Children's Mass

Catholic School Children Offended By Dumbed Down Homily

El Centro, CA–Students at St. Therese of Carmel Acadamy walked out of Mass confounded earlier this morning after parish priest Fr. Ted Cordova delivered... Read More

Pope’s New Crossguard Lightsaber Crosier Stirring Up Controversy With Liturgical Purists

VATICAN — Vatican television took the liturgical world by storm last Friday by giving Catholics their very first official look at a short teaser trailer from... Read More

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Parish Life

before and after

Renovation Construction for Rio Shuttlecock Cathedral Nearing Completion

A before and after image of the soon to be fully renovated Shuttlecock... Read More

Parishioner Just Going To Sit On Toilet Until Annual Catholic Appeal Homily Over

Deciding that he would go to the restroom and simply sit on the toilet... Read More


Peter Jackson Announces Plans for 72-Part Movie Series of The Silmarillion

Hollywood, CA–At a press conference today outside his estate in... Read More

Report: Man Who’s Never Killed Anyone Or Anything Like That Doesn’t Need To Go To Confession

Pittsburgh, PA––A new report out today by area Catholic Marcus Dietrich’s conscience revealed... Read More

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Libs & Trads

SSPX Sentences Priest To 1,000 Lashes For Smiling During Mass

Society of St. Pius X priest Fr. Donald Johnson has been sentenced to three years... Read More

Catholic Church Seemingly Reverses Apology to Galileo

Twenty two years after the historic “apology” of Pope John Paul II to... Read More

Mystery Priest At Car Accident Revealed, Heralded As Courageous Man Who Wore Clerics In Public


The “Missouri Miracle” mystery priest who ministered to Katie Lentz... Read More

Nuns On Bus Scour Ohio In Search Of Misplaced Veils

PHOTO: J. Scott Applewhite / AP Photo

OHIO––A group of Catholic nuns began a 1,000 mile bus tour through Ohio this... Read More

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