People Preparing McCarrick Report Same People As Counting Votes In Nevada
After days of ballot counting in Nevada, officials from the state revealed earlier this morning that they were, in fact, the same people that were... Read More
Mass
Liturgical Dancer Tests Positive For Performance-Enhancing Drugs
It is being reported this morning that world-renowned liturgical dancer Doris Griffin has tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs. A USCCB spokesman said that trace amounts of an illegal substance were found in Griffin’s blood... Read More
Man Goes To Mass To Seek Out Intimate Encounter With Neighbor
Explaining how forcefully and extensively the centrality of an intimate encounter with the person of our neighbor is to the spiritual life, local Catholic Jonathan Duggan invited friends to Mass this morning so that they too could experience the... Read More
Android Priests Being Developed To Help Say Mass, Hear Confessions
Prototype clergydroid Fr. SRT4-11392 celebrating its first wedding ceremony. Vatican––The Vatican has confirmed reports today that an agreement has been reached with the International Federation of Robotics (IFR) to begin development of... Read More
Outrage After Man Butchers Beloved Liturgy In Zimbabwe
A priest arrested in the butchering of a beloved Mass in Zimbabwe was released Wednesday by an ecclesiastical court on $1,000 bail. Fr. Theo Braxton, a professional Mass butcher since the 1960’s, said through his attorney that he was innocent... Read More
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Libs & Trads
Christendom College Student Won’t Shut Up With The Latin Already
“Colligium Christendum in Virginium est. Christendum bonum scholasticum est.”-Ben Tate Friends of Christendom College freshman Ben Tate reported this... Read More
San Francisco Catholics Petition God To Remove Jesus From Trinity
In an unprecedented move, more than 100 prominent San Francisco based Roman Catholics signed a petition and ran a full-page ad Friday calling on God to remove Jesus... Read More
Area Baptist Church Runs Out Of Welch’s 100% Grape Juice For Communion
San Diego, CA–Pastor Kyle Sandera of Newlife Baptist Church in San Diego, California says that an unanticipated large crowd at Sunday service this past weekend... Read More
Man Angry That Only Women Can Become Female Priests
Florence Hensley and companions minutes after practicing mass Medford, OR––Speaking at a Women’s Rights group at the home of fellow parishioner Florence... Read More
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Politics
Russian Orthodox Church Accused Of Doping Parishioners To Gain Spiritual Advantage
With Armageddon just around the corner, the Russian Orthodox Church is... Read More
Pope’s Address to Syrians in Lebanon: “This Is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things!”
Beirut, Lebanon––Speaking to tens of thousands of Middle Easterners... Read More
EWTN Officially Endorses Trump For The Papacy
Image: Gage Skidmore Just a day before EWTN plans to air an exclusive interview... Read More
Planned Parenthood Set To Unveil New Line At Fashion Week
PARIS––The city of Paris has come to a standstill with the anticipation... Read More
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Vatican
Francis Condemns Magnum Principium, Begins Saying Latin Mass After Hitting Head During Popemobile Accident
Image:Zebra48bo Days after the Pontiff sustained injuries after hitting his... Read More
Pope Francis To Allow Contraception For Rabbits, Media Reporting
Just days after Pope Francis made statements supporting the Church’s ban... Read More
Many Disappointed First-Ever Black, Jewish, Woman, Lesbian Pope Not Elected
A Catholic Argentinian Man VATICAN–Sadness and a general sense of ennui... Read More
Ringling Bros. Circus And Its Subsidiary The Vatican To Shut Down In May
Image:AlejandroLinaresGarcia After more than 140 years, the curtain is... Read More