“Before Washington Was, I AM,” Trump Tells Reporters
Image: Gage Skidmore Speaking to a small crowd gathered outside the recently relocated American Embassy in Jerusalem, President Trump claimed himself... Read More
Mass
Confused Parishioner Won’t Stop Accidently Saying “And Also With You”
photo: Gregory L. Tracy Hoboken, New Jersey––It is being reported today that Timothy Perkins of Our Lady of Fatima Catholic Church in Hoboken, New Jersey continually made the wrong responses at Mass, despite having the new laminated translation... Read More
Area Catholic Confirms Too Many Obligations To Make It To Mass On Holy Day Of Obligation
Rancho San Diego, CA––29-year-old Catholic Tony Rigali confirmed to his family earlier today that due to all the “things on his plate,” he would be, unfortunately, having to skip Holy Day of Obligation Mass today in honor of... Read More
Catholic School Children Offended By Dumbed Down Homily
El Centro, CA–Students at St. Therese of Carmel Acadamy walked out of Mass confounded earlier this morning after parish priest Fr. Ted Cordova delivered an over simplified homily about the Lord’s command to forgive “not... Read More
Parishioner Agnes Day Excited About New Vatican Crackdown On Her Name
Manchester, NH––For over 40 years, Agnes Day, parishioner at St. Luke Parish, has quietly suffered what she called “decades of unnecessary adaptations to her name.” Day, a daily communicant, told Eye of the Tiber how decades... Read More
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Libs & Trads
Man Angry That Only Women Can Become Female Priests
Florence Hensley and companions minutes after practicing mass Medford, OR––Speaking at a Women’s Rights group at the home of fellow parishioner Florence... Read More
Report: All That Really Matters Is Having A Good Heart
Portland, OR–A new study released today by millions of Catholics and non-Catholics from across the globe shows that having a good heart is more pleasing to... Read More
Pope Encourages Women To Reveal Breasts In Sistine Chapel, Feminist Newspaper Reports
VATICAN––“He is 77, celibate, and the Vicar of Christ; a role which, up until his papacy, was known for its prudishness,” Evi Quinn, journalist for the... Read More
Newly Revealed Catacomb Painting Undeniable Proof That Women Were Able To Raise Hands In Air In Early Church
VATICAN–Newly restored frescoes from the Catacombs of Priscilla were unveiled by the Vatican on Tuesday, some of which reveal that women in early Christianity... Read More
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Politics
Vatican Investigating Possible Russian Orthodox Hack Of 2013 Papal Elections
In a surprise press conference today, Monsignor Buonarroti, Head of the... Read More
California Drought Forcing Churches To Ration Baptisms
In response to California’s four-year drought, California Governor Jerry... Read More
Pope’s Peace Doves Attacked By Metaphors
VATICAN–In a gesture at the Vatican’s annual “Caravan... Read More
PETA Protesters Throw Paint On Francis For Wearing Lamb
PHOTO: OSSERVATORE ROMANO/REUTERS Gatecrashing St. Peter’s Square this... Read More
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Vatican
Francis Declares Plane Interviews New Authoritative Form Of Magisterial Teaching
Pope Francis gave a press conference on his flight back to Rome Thursday, declaring... Read More
Pope Warns Warmongers One Last Time Before Unleashing His Vengeance
Image: Andrew Hermiz After celebrating the Feast of All Souls Day last week,... Read More
‘The Walking Pope’ Mid-Season Finale Recap
Season 3 of The Walking Pope has been a downward slide for EWTN who produced the... Read More
Curia Surprises Francis with One-Way Ticket to Buenos Aires
Roman Curia officials pulled out all the stops this year to celebrate the 4th anniversary... Read More
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Recent Comments
New Evidence Suggests the Real Reason St. Peter Denied Jesus Was Because Christ Healed His Mother-in-LawHowever, it does seem to be true that feminists with a stick up their butt don't have a sense of humor.
