31 NFL Head Coaches Face Possible Firings For Not Drafting Openly Gay Defensive End Michael Sam

Libs & Trads

Pope Michael Comes To Aid Of Deposed Nigerian Prince; Transfers “Sum of USD 5 Millions”

Belvue, KS––Speaking from his porcelain throne yesterday, Pope Michael announced to those gathered in the papal living room that, as sign of unity between the Church and the great people of Nigeria, he would be transferring the “sum... Read More

Mars Curiosity Rover Successfully Reaches Jesuit Seminary

Berkeley, CA––NASA announced Tuesday that its 2.5 billion dollar Mars Curiosity Rover has successfully touched down in the Jesuit Seminary in Berkeley. For close to a decade, the Church and NASA alike have been fascinated with... Read More

Area Jesuit Excited About New “Clerics” From Tommy Bahama

Seattle, WA––The Seattle-based manufacturer of casual men’s sportswear Tommy Bahama is set to release its highly-anticipated new line of clothing for Jesuits this week. The clothing company, whose men’s sportswear lines already... Read More

Man Fondly Remembers Time When A Man Could Read Bible In Public Without Fear Of Being Ridiculed, Beheaded

New Philadelphia––Thinking back to a time long ago, 80-year-old New Philadelphian Gary Walker told his grandchildren that he remembered a time when a man could own a bible without fear of public humiliation and execution. “Oh,... Read More

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