Parishioners Pick Churchy McChurchy Face As Name Of New Parish

Image: Andrew Hermiz

Image: Andrew Hermiz   Parishioners are embracing a bishop’s call, allowing them to choose the name of a new Catholic church in their diocese. With... Read More

Mass

Orchestra

Maestro Who Conducts Symphony With Back Facing Audience Labelled Radical Traditionalist

After conducting his first symphony since being named Maestro of the New Mexico Philharmonic, Chinese-born Li Wei Chen has been under heavy scrutiny from longtime patrons for conducting Beethoven’s famous 9th Symphony while facing... Read More

Crusades

Family Fighting For Good Seats At Christmas Mass With The Zeal Of 12th Century Crusaders

Reporting that he and his family had been forced from their aisle seat just minutes after acquiring it, 48-year-old Brenden O’Malley told EOTT moments ago that he would “not rest till his aisle seat was once again reclaimed.” “Beset,... Read More

Clown

There Was Certainly A Point During My Clown Mass When I Thought, “What The Hell Am I Doing?”

Tuscan, AZ–Pastor of St. Genesius Catholic Church in Tuscan, Arizona Fr. Edmond Harrington confirmed to reporters this afternoon that at one point during his first Clown Mass, he looked at his oversized checkered shoes and thought... Read More

Man Goes To Mass To Seek Out Intimate Encounter With Neighbor

Explaining how forcefully and extensively the centrality of an intimate encounter with the person of our neighbor is to the spiritual life, local Catholic Jonathan Duggan invited friends to Mass this morning so that they too could experience the... Read More

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Politics

NSA

Leaked Documents Reveal NSA Spied On Prayers Of Faithful

According to a new report out this week in the Italian magazine Panorama, the NSA may have spied on the prayers of millions of faithful during the last Papal Election.... Read More

New Federal HHS Mandate To Force Protestant Business Owners To Pray To Mary Against Their Consciences

Washington, DC––Horizon Baptist College in Washington, DC has become the first casualty of the new HHS mandate that requires Protestant colleges, groups, and... Read More

Tensions Escalate As North Korea Threatens To Deploy LCWR Nuns On West

Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel is calling North Korea’s threat to use LCWR nuns strapped to long-range missiles a “provocative action” and a... Read More

USCCB Sword Swallowing Challenge Raising Little Money, Causing Terrible Injuries

You’ve seen all the USCCB Sword Swallowing Challenge videos by now. Everyone from Catholic celebrities like The Curt Jester writer Jeff Miller, Fr. Robert... Read More

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Vatican

Ricardo André Frantz

Vatican Considering Possibility Of Allowing Priests To Confess Their Sins In The Mirror

Image: Ricardo André Frantz Pope Francis has established a commission... Read More

Pope Francis Apologizes For Prank Video Message To Evangelicals

Pope Francis is apologizing this morning after it was revealed that a... Read More

Pope Francis Says It’s Better To Be An Atheist Than To Enjoy The DC Cinematic Universe

“If you watched Suicide Squad or Batman v. Superman and somehow convinced... Read More

Vatican Press Office Officially Announces All Phone Lines in Vatican To Be Disconnected For Remainder Of Pontificate

VATICAN––The Vatican Press Office Director Father Federico Lombardi... Read More

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Libs & Trads

New Study: Sedevacantists Feeling Our Pain…A Lot

Sede Vacante

Oyster Bay Cove, NY–A new study out today by the Society of St. Pius V reveals... Read More

Catholic Church Seemingly Reverses Apology to Galileo

Twenty two years after the historic “apology” of Pope John Paul II to... Read More

Dumbstruck Congregation Listens In Awe As “Judgmental” Pastor Delivers Sound Homily

Image: ChipSomodevilla/Getty Images Europe

Encinitas, CA–Listening in shock and horror as a visiting priest delivered... Read More

Area Jesuit Excited About New “Clerics” From Tommy Bahama

TommyB

Seattle, WA––The Seattle-based manufacturer of casual men’s sportswear... Read More

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