Badass Priest Hears Own Confession

According to several sources this week, well-known local badass priest Fr. Blaze Gunner heard his own confession. “Father Gunner is such a badass,”... Read More

Mass

“Extraordinary Mass Should Not Be The Norm,” Extraordinary Minister Of Holy Communion Reporting

Pigeon Forge, Tennessee––Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion Ernest Robbins is reporting to friends and family that the Extraordinary Form of the Liturgy “should never become the norm,” but that it should “remain... Read More

Man Found Dead After Botched Homily

A man whose body was found in a pew at St. Cecila’s Church Friday died from blunt trauma to the heart, the San Bernardino County medical examiners office found after autopsies performed this morning. “We can’t say much at... Read More

Monday Morning Priest Would’ve Said Mass Completely Different

Denver, CO––After having attended Mass yesterday evening, Denver native and layman Jeffrey Baines went on his public access television show Clerical Primetime this morning to criticize his parish pastor Father Roger Manning of quitting... Read More

The “Brown Note” Proven True Seconds After “Gather Us In” Begins

The infrasonic sound that some have said causes people to lose control of their bowels was proven true just seconds after the hymn Gather Us In began last Sunday. Director of Acoustic Resonance and Church Worship at the Vatican Michelle Klinsmann... Read More

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Libs & Trads

As 2000th Anniversary of Pentecost Approaches, God Still Refuses to Clarify Ambiguous Passages of Scripture

Advocates of family values and traditional marriage spoke out today, demanding again that Jesus Christ clarify his words, “If any one comes to me and does... Read More

Area Jesuit Excited About New “Clerics” From Tommy Bahama

Seattle, WA––The Seattle-based manufacturer of casual men’s sportswear Tommy Bahama is set to release its highly-anticipated new line of clothing for... Read More

Cardinal Nichols Asks Priests To Face Him During Mass

In response to Cardinal Sarah’s remarks on celebrating the liturgy ad orientem, Archbishop of Westminster Cardinal Vincent Nichols wrote to his priests yesterday... Read More

New Study Shows Larger Number Of Faithful Catholics Living In Mosul Than In California

According to a new report out today by the Vatican, there are currently more Catholics who adhere to the Magisterium of the Catholic Church currently residing in... Read More

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Politics

Michael Voris Hair, Trump Hair Get Together For Drinks

Just days after Super Tuesday, Donald Trump’s hair reportedly called... Read More

Congregation For Divine Worship Rules Against FSSP Novus Ordo Ban

Image: Staselnik A Congregation for Divine Worship panel has unanimously... Read More

Ireland Approves Reentry Of Snakes Into Country By Popular Vote

Ireland overwhelmingly approved a referendum to allow “snakes” back... Read More

Cardinals Distancing Themselves From Pope Ahead Of Next Papal Election

Ahead of the next Papal Elections, many Cardinals have begun to distance... Read More

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Vatican

Ringling Bros. Circus And Its Subsidiary The Vatican To Shut Down In May

Image:AlejandroLinaresGarcia   After  more than 140 years, the curtain is... Read More

“Minotaurs And Krakens Is Where I Draw The line,” Pope Francis Says. “I Would Not Convert Them”

VATICAN–Pope Francis said in his morning Mass on Monday that if Martians came... Read More

Pope Francis Pets Tamed SSPX Priest During Vatican Jubilee For Travelling Clerics

Credit: Malacañang Photo Bureau (News Brief) Pope Francis pet a tamed Society of... Read More

Unambitious Protester Scales St. Peter’s United Methodist Church

Ocean City, NJ––A New Jersey man has eluded staff and scaled the 30-foot roof... Read More

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