Several Bishops Leaning Toward Allowing Divorced And Remarried Couples To Receive Chick-fil-A

Image:Sonny Abesamis   Several bishops from across the globe announced today that they are considering allowing divorced and remarried Catholics to... Read More

Mass

Outrage After Man Butchers Beloved Liturgy In Zimbabwe

A priest arrested in the butchering of a beloved Mass in Zimbabwe was released Wednesday by an ecclesiastical court on $1,000 bail. Fr. Theo Braxton, a professional Mass butcher since the 1960’s, said through his attorney that he was innocent... Read More

Android Priests Being Developed To Help Say Mass, Hear Confessions

Prototype clergydroid Fr. SRT4-11392 celebrating its first wedding ceremony. Vatican––The Vatican has confirmed reports today that an agreement has been reached with the International Federation of Robotics (IFR) to begin development of... Read More

“Extraordinary Mass Should Not Be The Norm,” Extraordinary Minister Of Holy Communion Reporting

Pigeon Forge, Tennessee––Extraordinary Minister of Holy Communion Ernest Robbins is reporting to friends and family that the Extraordinary Form of the Liturgy “should never become the norm,” but that it should “remain... Read More

Priest Magician Performs Folk Mass Illusion; Makes Parishioners Disappear

Las Vegas, NV––Citing a large demand for his Folk Mass illusion, part-time magician Fr. George Richmond of Las Vegas, Nevada told reporters Sunday that he would begin to perform the trick every Sunday at 9:00 am. “I remember last... Read More

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Vatican

Papal Conclave Error: Burke Wins Papacy After Conclave Mix-Up

Image:Нұрлан Саят In an epic mistake that drew gasps from Catholics and non-Catholics around the world yesterday, Cardinal Protodeacon Jean-Louis Tauran... Read More

‘The Walking Pope’ Mid-Season Finale Recap

Season 3 of The Walking Pope has been a downward slide for EWTN who produced the hit TV show as well as the pontificate it’s based on. As many viewers have said... Read More

USCCB Restricts Free Spread Of Lumen Fidei; “Just Like St. Paul Did With Book Of Galations.”

Washington, DC––Just a week after the USCCB accused popular Catholic blogger and writer Brandon Vogt of “violating civil and moral law” and stealing... Read More

Pope’s Announcement Regarding Potentially Allowing Married Men To Enter Priesthood Gives Hope To Nation’s Chalice Chippers

  Pope Francis has reportedly taken the first step in allowing married men to become priests, and in so doing, giving hope to chalice chippers worldwide. If... Read More

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Libs & Trads

PHOTO: J. Scott Applewhite / AP Photo

Nuns On Bus Scour Ohio In Search of Misplaced Veils

OHIO––A group of Catholic nuns began a 1,000 mile bus tour through... Read More

Statue In Cathedral Of Our Lady Of The Angels Wondering Why Everyone Keeps Laughing At It

Los Angeles, CA––The Virgin Mary statue at the entrance of Our Lady... Read More

Scientists Test Effects of Novus Ordo On Longtime Sedevacantist

Dr. William Manders interviewed about Novus Ordo testing on Sedevacantist. Los... Read More

Unimaginative Priest Celebrates Themeless Mass

Citing a lack of time and energy, as well as feeling the “total absence... Read More

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Politics

Santa Reassigns “Rigid” Elf On The Shelf To Malta

Image: An Errant Knight Santa Claus has reassigned a conservative “scout elf”... Read More

Head Of Opus Dei Reaffirms Prelature Not A Cult

ROME––Bishop Javier Echevarria Rodriguez, head of the Prelature of the Holy... Read More

Parish Council Grills Catechumen Nominee At Confirmation Mass

Image: Joe Ravi Catechumen nominee Neil Schlesing said that “no man is above canon... Read More

Scalia Beheaded For Wearing Thomas More Hat To Inauguration

Washington, DC––Just one day after he was seen wearing a replica of the cap... Read More

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