Parishioner Who Makes 350K A Year Anonymously Slips $20 Bill Into Donation Envelope With A Little Wink To Heaven

  According to several reports from Heaven, well-to-do parishioner Herbert Edward Kingsley III took out a crisp $20 bill from his bill fold last... Read More

Mass

Area Catholic Confirms Too Many Obligations To Make It To Mass On Holy Day Of Obligation

Rancho San Diego, CA––29-year-old Catholic Tony Rigali confirmed to his family earlier today that due to all the “things on his plate,” he would be, unfortunately, having to skip Holy Day of Obligation Mass today in honor of... Read More

Female Parishioners Upset That Men Not Also Being Asked To “Set The Altar” Before Mass

Baker, OR–Female Parishioners at St. John Bosco Parish in Baker, Oregon have sent a letter to Bishop Liam Cary accusing their pastor Fr. Maurice Alvarez as well as Deacon Bob Ley of sexism and chauvinism. The one-page complaint letter... Read More

Pope Francis To Defrock 300 Priests For Failing To Say ‘Good Morning’ At The Beginning Of Mass

VATICAN––Shortly after it was revealed that his predecessor, Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI, defrocked 400 priests for sexual abuse of minors, Pope Francis decreed the immediate removal of priestly faculties for 300 priests from Europe and... Read More

Homily Never Going To End, Sources Confirm

Galveston, TX–Multiple sources at Prince of Peace Catholic Church in Galveston, Texas have just confirmed that parish pastor Fr. Robert Warner is “never going to wrap up his freaking homily.” 29-year-old mother of three Katrin... Read More

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Vatican

Man Whose Every Word Is Misrepresented Thinks 12,000 Word Interview A Good Idea

VATICAN––It was reported earlier this week that an outgoing Argentinian born man, whose every single word is misconstrued and misrepresented by friends in... Read More

Little Girl Who Attempted To Steal Pope’s “Hat” Arraigned On Felony Charges

The Swiss Guard have arrested Estella Westrick from Atlanta, Georgia for several felony offenses Tuesday after she attempted to steal Pope Francis’ zucchetto... Read More

Bear From “The Revenant” Has Private Meeting With Pope Francis

Image:AndrewHermiz The bear that played the role of the vicious bear in the movie “The Revenant” met with Pope Francis at the Vatican Thursday, discussing their... Read More

Pope Francis Says Women Can Have Abortions During Year Of Mercy, MSNBC Reports

Photo Credit: Malacañang Photo Bureau Pope Francis announced Tuesday that he will allow Roman Catholic women to have as many abortions as they want during the upcoming... Read More

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Libs & Trads

Pope Francis Confirms Cats Still Going To Hell

Pope Francis continues to show he’s not your average pope. During... Read More

Newspaper Fires Staff Writers Amid Allegations That They Had Opinions 

Image: Andrew Hermiz Two National Catholic Register staff writers have... Read More

Report: Mahony’s Pretty Much Got This Pope Thing In The Bag

“The only question that remains is what name he shall take.” VATICAN... Read More

Catholics For Choice Asks Vatican To Allow Abortions In Cases of Rape, Incest, Impending Prom

The pro-choice organization Catholics for Choice today sent a request to... Read More

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Politics

Chicago School Board Bans Crosses And Lower Case T’s

In the midst of the political firestorm regarding Montgomery Elementary School student... Read More

Francis’ General Audience Address Bears Striking Resemblance To Melania Trump Speech

Image: Mark Nozell (Flikr) A number of paragraphs from Pope Francis’ Wednesday... Read More

As Syrian Conflict Intensifies, New Jersey Man Urges God To End Jets Quarterback Controversy

East Rutherford, New Jersey––As U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry effectively... Read More

Paula Deen Not In Hot Water After Using Anti-Catholic Slur

Savannah, GA––Just weeks after admitting she used racist and anti-Semitic comments... Read More

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