EWTN Officially Endorses Trump For The Papacy

Image: Gage Skidmore

Image: Gage Skidmore Just a day before EWTN plans to air an exclusive interview with Presidential candidate Donald Trump, the company’s board of directors... Read More


Image: Benjamin Fishman

SSPX Chess Player Creates Bishop Pieces Without World Chess Federation Approval

Image: Benjamin Fishman Society of St. Pius X chess grandmaster Larcel Mafebvre has turned four of his pieces into bishops without approval from the World Chess Federation, officials have confirmed. “Mr. Mafebvre has, without approval... Read More

Lazy Man Not Helping To Put Up Kneeler

West Bloomfield, MI––A source out of St. Ulric Catholic Church in West Bloomfield, Michigan confirmed Sunday that parishioner Alexander Ramsey had not lifted a finger to assist in putting up or down the kneeler for the consecration. “I... Read More


Liturgical Dancer Tests Positive For Performance-Enhancing Drugs

It is being reported this morning that world-renowned liturgical dancer Doris Griffin has tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs. A USCCB spokesman said that trace amounts of an illegal substance were found in Griffin’s blood... Read More

Moments after riot police stormed the church to restore order in the pews.

Seating For Mass Turns Chaotic After Ushers Call In Sick

Moments after riot police stormed the church to restore order in the pews. Bowie, Maryland–Mass at St. Alphonsus Parish in Bowie, Maryland quickly turned chaotic earlier this morning after all eight ushers called in sick with the flu.... Read More

View All Articles in this Category...

Parish Life

Overzealous Priest Overturns The Tables Of The Money Changers In Church Gift Shop

Louisville, KY––In what the police are calling a “fanatical act committed while in the state of a nervous breakdown,” Associate Pastor of St. Margaret Catholic... Read More

Pastor Encourages Parishoners To Use New Click-To-Confess Feature On Church Website

Raleigh, North Carolina––After revealing new updates to the parish website, pastor of St. Claire Church Fr. Nicholas Walker told his flock that should they... Read More

Diocese Of Gaylord, Michigan To Change Its Name To Peoplewhostrugglewithsamesexattractionlord, Michigan

Peoplewhostrugglewithsamesexattractionlord, MI—Parishioners in the Diocese of Gaylord, Michigan are being asked by their new Bishop, Steven Raica, to begin referring... Read More


Area Man Can Finally Hold Head High After “Liking” Jesus On Facebook

Madison, WI––While watching the NBA playoffs and ferociously pounding down an entire six-pack in lieu of Mass this afternoon, 32-year-old off-again, off-again... Read More

View All Articles in this Category...

Libs & Trads

Daylight Savings News: Sedevacantist Family Moves Clocks Back Seven Centuries

After having set the family clock back seven centuries for daylight savings... Read More

PHOTO: J. Scott Applewhite / AP Photo

Nuns On Bus Scour Ohio In Search of Misplaced Veils

OHIO––A group of Catholic nuns began a 1,000 mile bus tour through... Read More

Report: Some 2nd Century Roman Christians Hated Latin Mass Because It Was Said In The Vernacular

ROME–A letter written by an anonymous early Roman Christian was... Read More


New Poll Shows 50% Of Catholics Disagree With Jesus’ Stance On Gay Marriage

Novi, MI––A new poll out today shows that about half of Catholics... Read More

View All Articles in this Category...


5 Memorable Moments From Francis’ First Year

  The winds of change blow off Francis’ zucchetto Pope Francis tweeted... Read More

Vatican Press Office Officially Announces All Phone Lines in Vatican To Be Disconnected For Remainder Of Pontificate

VATICAN––The Vatican Press Office Director Father Federico Lombardi issued... Read More

Wind Gust Nearly Blows Off Benedict’s Zucchetto, Leading Media To Speculate About More Stuff


VATICAN CITY–Media outlets around the world are buzzing with speculation this... Read More

Unambitious Protester Scales St. Peter’s United Methodist Church

Ocean City, NJ––A New Jersey man has eluded staff and scaled the 30-foot roof... Read More

View All Articles in this Category...