Cohabiting Couple Careful To Observe Fish On Fridays

March 24, 2017 by  
Filed under Parish Life

Lent

Local Catholic couple Jenny Barkley and David Rondo, who have been cohabiting for two years with no intention of marrying, announced to friends during lunch today that they would have to stick to fish options due to the Lenten fast. “I grew up super Catholic,” Barkley said. “My mom would kill me if she found out we weren’t observing the Church’s laws on abstinence…from meat.” Rondo agreed with his girlfriend, but also said that... Read More

Parish Council Grills Catechumen Nominee At Confirmation Mass

March 23, 2017 by  
Filed under Politics

Image: Joe Ravi

Image: Joe Ravi Catechumen nominee Neil Schlesing said that “no man is above canon law” when pressed on whether Pope Francis could allow divorced and remarried Catholics to receive communion. It was one of several exchanges Tuesday as Schlesing mostly deflected council members’ efforts to get him to reveal his views on the death penalty, global warming, and other controversial issues inside the Catholic Church. As the grueling day of questioning wore... Read More

Little Girl Who Attempted To Steal Pope’s “Hat” Arraigned On Felony Charges

March 23, 2017 by  
Filed under Vatican

The Swiss Guard have arrested Estella Westrick from Atlanta, Georgia for several felony offenses Tuesday after she attempted to steal Pope Francis’ zucchetto in broad daylight. The three-year-old was arrested on charges including theft, assault on a public figure, and resisting arrest from her father after throwing a temper tantrum. Just after 12:40 p.m. on Tuesday, the Swiss Guard were forced into action after an assault complaint was made from... Read More

Curia Surprises Francis with One-Way Ticket to Buenos Aires

March 20, 2017 by  
Filed under Vatican

Francis_Inauguration

Roman Curia officials pulled out all the stops this year to celebrate the 4th anniversary of Pope Francis’ accession to the Throne of St. Peter after scrounging together a few hundred Euro to surprise him with an unforgettable one-way ticket to his native Buenos Aires. “He’s been working so hard lately, we thought he could use an extended, indefinite getaway,” said Msgr. Giuseppe Bernardo, an attaché attached to the Papal Household. “Plus it’s... Read More

Woman Who Gave Up Gossip For Lent Really Looking Forward To Sunday

March 16, 2017 by  
Filed under Parish Life

gossip

St. James Catholic Church parishioner Lydia Valdez, who gave up gossip for Lent, announced to friends late last night that she could not wait until Sunday so that she could catch up on all the gossip. The 29-year-old mother of two told friends that she was excited to hear about what “really happened with Liz.” “I overheard a couple co-workers talking about what Liz in accounting really got fired for,” Valdez told EOTT. “I wanna break my fast... Read More

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