On Good Friday, Christians To Celebrate The Holy Feast Of The Fastest And Most Violent Reversal Of Public Opinion In History

From the News Desk––With Passion Week beginning today, Catholics and non-Catholic Christians from across the globe gather to contemplate the events leading up to the Holy Feast of the Fastest and Most Violent Reversal of Public Opinion in History. Passion Week begins with Palm Sunday, which commemorates Jesus’ triumphant entry into Jerusalem, and the crowd’s acceptance of him as “Hosanna.” Millions of Christians worldwide will honor the... Read More

New Line Of Sleek, Sexy Ankle Length Jean Jumpers Stirs Up Controversy At Homeschool Fashion Show

Renowned homeschool fashion designer Mary Elisabeth O’Conner kicked off this year’s Homeschool Fashion Show, unveiling her new line of sleek and racy ankle length jean jumpers. The event, which also featured many other star-studded designers and their lines of long white undershirts and black clogs, has come under scrutiny from the Homeschool Society of Virginia, whose President recently called on homeschool mothers to ban the O’Conner line. O’Conner’s... Read More

5-Year-Old Parishioner Thinks Being Removed From Mass During Homily For Children’s Ministry A Complete Load Of Bull Crap

Beaverton, OR–Speaking to a group of children gathered in a room next to St. Margret Catholic Church in Beaverton, Oregon this Sunday, 5-year-old parishioner Jacob Kelting expressed his frustration at having to be “herded” out of church and into the Children’s Ministry Room. Kelting reported that the idea that children should be removed from the splendor of the Mass just to color in a picture of an awkwardly smiling Jesus standing beside children... Read More

President Carter Says Mathematicians Should Allow Square Pegs To Fit In Round Holes

WASHINGTON––In an interview with CNN’s Erin Burnett, former President Jimmy Carter talked about his letter to mathematicians. In it, Carter called on leading mathematicians to support efforts to fit square pegs in round holes. “I asked them to join with me in doing some of these things to prevent inequality, and to prevent segregation between figures, and to prevent unnecessary discrimination between different types of shapes, and to... Read More

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