New “Crucifix For Her” Product Goes On Sale Just In Time For Christmas

For centuries overly masculine crucifixes dominated the Catholic market, but one company is set to change that by unveiling their all-new line of crucifixes made “just for her”.

The product descriptions reads, Crucifix For Her has an elegant design – just for Her! It features a thin vertical beam designed to fit a women’s hand as she prays. Deeply sensational, totally feminine, and as contemporary as you are, this crucifix is never afraid to be Glam.

Product designer Donald Clow told EOTT this morning that he wasn’t originally looking to revolutionize the crucifix industry; just the way women pray. “Let’s just be honest…Catholic women like to take care of themselves spiritually as well as physically. So we’ve created a crucifix that not only saves them spiritually, but physically. Gone are the days when a woman needs to leave the adoration chapel to reapply her makeup. Now they can simply flip out the fold-out mirror attached to the crucifix. I guess you can call this the Swiss Army crucifix for women. And if you get the upgraded version, you’ll be treated to a crucifix with time-released deodorant spray available in four fragrances, as well as twist off bottom which opens up to reveal your favorite shade of lipstick. Now that’s what I call being saved.”