Catholics Attending Sedevacantist World Youth Day Still Waiting For Pope To Arrive

August 18, 2016 by  
Filed under Libs & Trads

Image: Socrates2008

Image: Socrates2008

Many Catholics attending the Sedevacantist World Youth Day are reportedly still anxiously waiting the Pope’s arrival, sources are reporting.

According to numerous sources who have been patiently waiting in Panama City since early dawn of 1958 for the Pope’s arrival, the patience of many of the attendees has been “pushed to its limits.”

“I’ve been waiting on this damn field for the Opening Ceremonies and Mass for the past 58 years,” said sedevacantist pilgrim Toby Rollins. “I arrived here when I was just 14-years-old to see the successor to Pius XII. I’m a 72-year-old man now living in a card board box surrounded by a bunch of Catholics playing bingo.”

Rollins went on to add that since the ten porta-potties in the venue are close to a mile away in either direction, and with large lines at all hours of day, he’s only been to the restroom three times since he left his home in Fairhope, Alabama.

“I really, really gotta go,” Rollins told EOTT, going on to ask whether we knew whether or not his father has been keeping up on their $92 a month rent.

“Seriously, though, last month, I could’ve sworn seeing a helicopter with the papal flags land in a field just over yonder. No one believes me, mainly because most of us can’t hardly see anymore, but still, I know I saw it. We’ll, I suppose I should cross my fingers. Oops…there goes a finger. Well, that makes three down, six to go.”