Captain America, Iron Man Split Over Vigano Letter

August 30, 2018 by  
Filed under Vatican


Iron man and Captain America have been seen fighting inside St. Peter’s Square this morning after witnesses say that the superheroes  had had a public falling out over the recent letter from Archbishop Viganó .

“This is brother against brother” said the Captain, who is in full support of Pope Francis told EOTT this afternoon as he dodged a volley of beams. “Vigano’s allegations should not be given the time of day. Innocent until proven guilty. There’s a reason that system is in place.” He went on to state, “Loyalty is invaluable, and at this time we have to stand with the Church in its hour of need.”

Stark, who had quickly turned defensive as Captain America began throwing his shield at him said, “We need to stop playing games. When there’s a bug in the system, we need to take it out. And I think Vigano’s letter shows a pretty big bug. The Church is not defined by the men in it. So when men turn out to be monsters–I don’t know about you, but I’m not going to just sit around and see what happens.”

Reports say that Captain America had originally agreed to meet with Stark in St. Peter’s Square to calmly discuss their differences, which led to full-fledged fight between them and the other members of the Avengers team who had strong feelings on the matter.

Pilgrim and vacationers alike were treated to a show of beams, missiles, arrows as Iron Man accompanied by Thor, War Machine, and Rocket Raccoon battled against Captain America who is alongside Black Widow, Ant-Man, and Hawkeye.

“Stop calling it ‘Papal Bull!’” Captain America was heard yelling at one point during the altercation.

Captain Marvel did not make an appearance, as she is believed to have had a “bigger agenda to worry about.”

Physicist Bruce Banner was asked for comment, but refused to say one word about the letter. Banner has been an outspoken advocate of  Viganó . Stark and Banner attended a private meeting with Cardinal Raymond Burke a few hours after the altercation, but it is unclear what was discussed.

The meeting ended when Banner discovered Burke’s pager, with a mysterious “BXVI” insignia flickering on the screen.

At press time, Thanos, having been selected by the laity to judge all Catholic bishops around the world, has told reporters that the matter should be a snap.