New GraceFace App Reveals What Users Will Look Like After The Resurrection Of The Body

July 23, 2019 by  
Filed under Parish Life, Uncategorized

Piggy-backing off the recent excitement over FaceApp, Catholic developers have released GraceFace, an application that reveals what users will look like for all eternity.

            “Like FaceApp, GraceFace uses a phone’s camera to take a picture of the user, but it then projects what their body will look like following the Resurrection of the Body at the end of time,” said Ken Carson, lead developer for GraceFace. “People love seeing their glorified bodies. Youthful, joyful, no wrinkles.”

            But some users experience shock and horror in seeing their future selves.

            “It was a big breakthrough when we were able to buy user data from Google, Apple, and Amazon,” said Carson. “Analyzing browsing history, social media usage, purchase history, text messages, voice data, and location information, we are able to predict with 99.8% accuracy whether an individual is currently in a state of grace–whether they’re going to Heaven or Hell. Users determined to be in a state of grace see their glorified bodies, while users in a state of sin see themselves writhing, wailing, and gnashing their teeth while being consumed by flames. The app has been a revelation for some.”

            “The moment I saw myself in those flames, I went to Confession,” said local parishioner Arthur Hackett. “When I came out I looked at myself again and thought, ‘I didn’t know I could look so good!’”

            But others like nominal Catholic Jennifer Williams took issue with GraceApp’s evaluations.

            “It’s just not right,” Williams told EOTT. “This thing shows me burning, but I haven’t killed anyone and even went to Mass last Easter. It’s so wrong.”