CNN Reports Covid Is A Hoax After Trump Tests Positive

October 2, 2020 by  
Filed under Parish Life

Image: Gage Skidmore

Hours after President Trump tweeted that both he and his wife had tested positive for Covid-19 late Thursday evening, CNN issued a statement claiming that the disease was nothing more than a conservative hoax.

“This is all just an elaborate hoax designed by radical conservatives to cause fear in the American public,” CNN anchor Wolf Blitzer told CNN. “I know that we’ve been fighting against conservative conspiracy theorists that called it a hoax these past few months, but thinking about it a little more now, it seems as though they were correct in their assumptions.”

A poll taken just an hour or so after the tweet reveals that nearly all conservatives polled now believe that Covid is a threat beyond any the world has seen before, while the vast majority of liberals polled had already burned their masks.

“It’s all just fake news,” Joe Biden told reporters. “If [Trump] has anything, it’s nothing more than the common cold or flu. That’s all this thing is. Conservative media and politicians would have us believe it’s much more than that simply because they wanna take away our rights as Americans.”

At press time, Joe Biden is calling on all Americans to get out and vote come November so that together, we might Make America Great Again.