God Miraculously Infuses Expert Knowledge Of Electoral Procedure Into Every American

November 5, 2020 by  
Filed under Parish Life, Uncategorized

Angels from the throne of God this morning announced that just hours after the 2020 presidential election began, God the father almighty, creator of heaven and earth, miraculously infused into every American genius level knowledge of the electoral procedure.

“God, in his infinite wisdom, hath decided to give each American man and woman a Thomas Aquinas-like brain when it comes to all procedures that pertain to the presidential race,” the archangel Raphael told those gathered near the gates of Heaven. “This knowledge shall continue to inhabit the brains of the American populace until the election is over, at which time, he will once again transfer all expertise back to Covid related matters.”

Raphael went on to say that along with electoral procedures, God has also decided to infuse expert knowledge in the field of constitutional law and, for American Catholics, canon law.

“Indeed,” continued a proud and triumphant looking Raphael, “behold, Americans are now to electoral procedures as Michael Jordan was to basketball. They shall become like Bradley Cooper in that movie ‘Limitless’ where he’s crazy smart and can use like his entire brain or something, I don’t know, I didn’t see the movie, but I heard it was pretty good. And Catholics shall once again become like Matt Damon in ‘Good Will Hunting’ but instead of math it will be with canon law.”