Every Holyday Of Obligation On Liturgical Calendar Deferred To Easter

May 8, 2013 by  
Filed under Parish Life, Uncategorized

Liturgical Calender

Washington, DC–A spokesman for the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops announced today that beginning tomorrow on the Feast of the Ascension of the Lord, every holyday of obligation listed on the Liturgical Calender, including Sundays, would from here on be deferred to Easter. The announcement came as welcomed news to many Catholics who found the near-impossible obligations imposed on them by their bishops simply too difficult to fulfil. Spokesman for the USCCB Sister Maxine Howard told the press this morning that the removal of nearly every obligatory holyday was a long time coming. “This will most certainly come as a relief to many Catholics who were falling into sin because of unfeasible Church requirements.” One Catholic we spoke to outside the Church of St. Mark said that he agreed with the decision, and was relieved to know that he would no longer have to sacrifice any more of his time. “It’s not that I don’t like going to church…it’s just that I don’t like going to church days after I just went. And to think that from now on I’ll only be obliged to go once a year? It’s just too kind our bishops. They’re always looking out to make sure we don’t over-burden ourselves.”

  • Veronica

    But then how will we distinguish the “Christmas Catholics” and “Easter Catholics” from the rest of us “All-year-long Catholics”? I need to know where to direct my snarkiness!!

    • http://chloeaustyn.blogspot.com Chloe

      Oh, it’ll be much better this way- Sundays and Holy Days will now be “optional”, like Daily Mass, so we can feel more sanctimonious than ever when we go to Mass!

  • http://www.splendoroftruth.com/curtjester Jeff Miller

    I did a similar parody some years ago when the Bishops’ Conference of England decided to reduce their Holy Days of Obligation. An annual unity feast possibly called ‘Chriseastercost’” or “Pentemaster”.

    http://www.splendoroftruth.com/curtjester/2006/07/holy-day-of-obligation/

    • Cupertino

      “Pentemaster” sounds like a feast for the other side.

  • http://www.thecatholicbeat.com Gail Finke

    HA HA HA HA

  • http://southernvermontcrank.blogspot.com/ I am not Spartacus

    Psalm 73 dittoes;

    They said in their heart, the whole kindred of them together: Let us abolish all the festival days of God from the land.

  • Beez

    Are you suggesting that the bishops plan to STILL require me to go to Mass EVERY year?

  • Joe of St Therese

    LOL! Don’t give the USCCB any ideas, LMAO

  • Fidei Defensor

    Golf courses around the nation are reporting an influx of Sunday tee time requests from Priests who are now freed from the buredon of having to say Mass. PGA Tour Spokesman Ty Votaw declined to comment on the record about rumors of several Priests and Bishops requesting to join the tour now that Sundays are free.

  • Jeff

    Actually, in Canada, all days of obligations have been transferred to the nearest Sunday except for Christmas and Mary Mother of God. http://www.sacredheartwl.org/documents/holydaysinCanada.pdf

  • Cory

    Funny how you said the sister was a “spokesman”

  • Kenny

    Yet another nail in the coffin of Catholicism. Holy and saint’s days are one of the distinguishing features of the RCC.Seems the Bishops wish us all to be de facto Protestants. No surprises there.

    • Michael Zimmerman

      You DO know this is a parody site… riiiiiiiight?

      • catechismhead

        Darn…I just destroyed all of my envelopes.