Pope Francis To Defrock 300 Priests For Failing To Say ‘Good Morning’ At The Beginning Of Mass

January 19, 2014 by  
Filed under Mass

VATICAN––Shortly after it was revealed that his predecessor, Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI, defrocked 400 priests for sexual abuse of minors, Pope Francis decreed the immediate removal of priestly faculties for 300 priests from Europe and the Americas who were found in defiance of liturgical norms and persistently refused to greet parishioners with the traditional “Good Morning” liturgical salutation. “The rubrics are clear in this regard; the celebrant is to smile, holds his hands out widely and welcomingly, and say ‘Good Morning,’ in a jubilant voice, before continuing with the Penitential Rites,” said a spokesman for the Holy See, defending the Holy Father’s decision. He continued, “a committee has been established also to ensure that liturgical norms for homilies are followed strictly by all who preach at Mass.” These norms, he explained, are somewhat more flexible: “the priest or deacon or layperson with a degree in theology or pastoral ministry has the option, in this case, of beginning with either a story or a joke. But beyond this, there is little wiggle room. Defying this would be the liturgical equivalent of deliberately changing a note in Marty Haugen’s ‘Mass of Creation’ setting for the Eucharistic Prayer, the Canonical penalty for which is an automatic excommunication.” The spokesman concluded firmly: “We are not at liberty to tamper with the Holy Liturgy of the Church, adding and subtracting as we see fit. That would make it more about us than about God.”

  • Jadissock

    Is this his roundabout way of getting rid of the Saturday evening vigil Mass?

    • T. Audrey Glamour

      Yes. It’s a conspiracy. Try a Google™ search on “SecretMyISAMt” and you will understand.

    • Nick the Californian


  • OK gonna take this as a nice sarcastic joke…well put

  • Nick the Californian

    This is satire, lest thou did not know.

  • Pingback: PopeWatch: Good Morning Father! | The American Catholic()

  • Michael Leggett

    Would anything written by Marty Haugen be constued as potential torture of Prisoners at Gitmo?

  • Mara319

    The Pope has set the example when he was announced. Stepping into the loggia, his first words were not “Dominus Vobiscum” but “Buon Sera.” Oh, that was not a Mass?

  • Jim

    We need a little more clarity for our priests on this issue. I was at a Sunday evening Mass recently, and when the priest, with open arms and rubric-correct exuberance, said “Good Morning!” all of us in attendance said, “Good…umm.” It was a very awkward moment.

  • Sounds like those priests were asking for it.

  • Aelric

    I believe the rubrics, in full, actually are as follows:

    (red: the presider, smiling foolishly, intones)
    (black) Cel: Good Morning N. (red: insert name of community)
    (red: responds the assembly, placing their left palm over the upper part of their face and forehead and with a countenance, strained, reply)
    (black) People: Good morning, Father.
    (black) Cel: Let us call to mind our sins.

    • pat

      i always thought that the rubrics specifically called for a weather report after the open salutation.

      And during football season the Mass ends with the traditional
      Go in peace and let’s go Jets!

      At least that’s how it always goes here.

  • RissyAnne1

    Yeeeaaaaahhhhhhh…..that kills me. People wonder why so many of us youngin’s love the TLM. Well, at most churches you get “Good Morning” at the TLM it’s “I will go unto the altar of God / To God who gives joy to my youth”…do they think we don’t know the difference?!!! This is the first thing that attracted me to the TLM.

  • Greg Walker

    Celebrant: “In the name of the Father…….(pauses because microphone is making a weird noise) ……there’s something wrong with this thing!”
    Congregation: “And also with you”

  • scooter

    hehe, love that juxtaposition of the hearty welcoming salutation given by the celebrant immediately followed by his plunging of the rubes (i.e. congregants observing the rubics) into a forced and awkward (but justified) self-incrimination of their litany of sins. Satirical genius!