Creepy Clown Masses On The Rise

October 7, 2016 by  
Filed under Mass

Image: Graeme Maclean

Image: Graeme Maclean Reports out of Cincinnati, Ohio today suggest sightings of Creepy Clown Masses are on the rise nationwide, and at levels not seen since the introduction of the 3rd typical edition of the Roman Missal five years ago. While anecdotes abounded in the 1990’s, most Catholics had never seen a Creepy Clown Mass themselves until recently. “I was ascending the side altar for my morning Latin Mass when I suddenly heard a calliope playing... Read More

SSPX Chess Player Creates Bishop Pieces Without World Chess Federation Approval

October 4, 2016 by  
Filed under Mass

Image: Benjamin Fishman

Image: Benjamin Fishman Society of St. Pius X chess grandmaster Larcel Mafebvre has turned four of his pieces into bishops without approval from the World Chess Federation, officials have confirmed. “Mr. Mafebvre has, without approval from the Federation, created bishops out of pawn pieces,” said World Chess Federation head Antonio Salamanca. “After speaking with Mr. Mafebvre regarding abiding by the new chess rules, wherein players... Read More

Report: Priest Doing That Stupid Thing Where He Walks Up And Down Aisle During Homily

April 21, 2016 by  
Filed under Mass

Image: ChipSomodevilla/Getty Images Europe

Image: ChipSomodevilla/Getty Images Europe Being asked about how their weekends were going, parishioners at St. Luke Parish announced Sunday that Fr. Todd Bunnell is, yet again, leaving the podium and making his way down to the aisle to preach the homily. According to reports, he’s doing that Protestant thing where he walks up and down the aisle, trying to get people excited and more engaged in the Mass. “I see what he’s trying to accomplish,”... Read More

Church Packed As Fr. Bieber Says First Mass At Our Lady Of Perpetual Crunches

March 31, 2016 by  
Filed under Mass

Image: AdamSundana

Image: AdamSundana Fr. Justin Bieber cleansed his soul and the souls of thousands of concertgoers turned parishioners over the weekend after turning his concert into a vigil Mass. The 20-year-old singer and newly ordained Jesuit, who is currently on probation for blessing a photographer in the face, was pictured presiding over Mass Saturday evening in San Diego, where he asked those in the crowd how their day was going, before welcoming them, saying, “The... Read More

Outrage After Man Butchers Beloved Liturgy In Zimbabwe

August 3, 2015 by  
Filed under Mass

A priest arrested in the butchering of a beloved Mass in Zimbabwe was released Wednesday by an ecclesiastical court on $1,000 bail. Fr. Theo Braxton, a professional Mass butcher since the 1960’s, said through his attorney that he was innocent of ruining a Mass in Zimbabwe, after he was asked to cover for a sick priest while vacation in the southern part of Africa. Church officials in Zimbabwe said Friday that killing the beloved Mass could bring a sentence... Read More

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