Spider Finds Unused Piece Of Real Estate On Catholic Bible To Build New Web

March 16, 2014 by  
Filed under Parish Life

bible

Somerset County, ME––Cherry Cavatica, daughter of famed animal rights activist and spider Charlotte Cavatica, has found a pristine and unused piece of real estate on which to build her new home, the three month old spider is reporting this morning.

Cavatica found the 9′ x 6′ inch plot of land just days after having had her home atop a PlayStation game consol unexpectedly dusted off by its land owner.

“I had just finished construction on the web just two days before its destruction,” Cavatica told EOTT. “Obviously it was devastating, especially considering that I just recently found out that I’m with egg.” Cavatica went on to explain how, after days of searching, her real estate agent informed her about a pristine plot of land on the upper banks of a closet. “I went with her to take a look at the land and was just mesmerized. It was perfect…I remember thinking this the first moment I saw it. The area looked quiet and peaceful. A great place to raise a new family.”

Cavatica’s real estate agent Itsy Bitsy told EOTT that many first time web owners make the mistake of choosing open spaces to build their homes. “Many spiders find the open space and light very appealing because of all the opportunity to catch flies. While this may be true,” Bitsy admits, “the dangers typically far outweigh the benefits.” Bitsy recommends spiders choose real estate that is never touched, such as a Catholic bible. “Many spiders are able to live out their lives on a Catholic bible. In fact, generations of spiders could realistically live on a Catholic bible.”

Bitsy gave one more piece of advise for first time web owners: “Not just any bible will do. The bible must be Catholic and not Protestant. I cannot stress this enough.”

  • Thomas Gillespie

    Ouch. Funny, but too true.