Catholic Democrats Vote In Referendum To Secede From Catholicism

March 17, 2014 by  
Filed under Politics

Washington—Catholic Democrats voted to secede from the Catholic Church in a referendum yesterday, with final results showing that 95.5% of ballots were in favor of becoming Pagan.

Leaders from the Pagan Coalition will pass legislation allowing Catholics in the Democratic Party who follow their consciences even when they conflict with moral teachings of the Magisterium to be known as Pagans. The Vatican has welcomed the results, with the Vatican Press Office today issuing a statement of support and congratulations.

“Results of the referendum in the Democratic Party clearly showed that Catholic Democrats see their future only as part of the Pagan movement,” said Vatican Press Secretary Roberto Ansaldi. “We support their decision and hope that their transition will be seamless. ‘Transition’ isn’t the right word there is it? ‘Transition’ would imply some sort of change from one position to another.”

  • micahnewman

    Sure wish they would! “Cultural Catholics” do immense harm to the Church (not to mention themselves) at least in terms of public perception by their flagrant flouting of unequivocal Church teachings.

    • Salvelinus

      Case in point… The number of “Wendy Davis for Governor” and Obama / Biden” bumper stickers at the local parish in South Texas (which I cannot attend) – Thank God for the smaller TLM community down here!

  • Anthony MT Fisher

    “We support their decision and hope that their transition will be seamless. ‘Transition’ isn’t the right word there is it? ‘Transition’ would imply some sort of change from one position to another.” Bahahahaha! that was pretty perfect. Well played Eye of the Tiber, well played.

  • Susan

    Hahahaha

  • Almario Javier

    Naturally, the ballot was blatantly rigged, as radical thugs all but openly barred anyone other than Anglophones from casting a vote.

  • Dr. Ed Gamboa

    Paging Pelosi…

  • Dr. Ed Gamboa

    The Catholic church actually owns a universal tent, bigger than St. Peter’s square, which can take in everyone, from extreme right to left to middle…but, smile, this is satire 🙂

    • John Kloess

      The Church can only take in those who will actually try to follow her teachings…

  • Paul K. Sulkowski

    This article seemed almost like it was a “pilot article” for a Catholic version of “The Onion.” I actually found it rather amusing.

    Also while satirically presented, I thought there was a certain underlying “truth” to it. It does seem like the overall Catholic segment of the Democratic Party are leaving the Church in substance.

    • scragsma

      ‘Eye of the Tiber’ *IS* a Catholic version of ‘The Onion’, Paul

  • Drew

    It’s ironic how Trent slammed Protestantism for crossing certain lines. Yet, liberal “Catholicism” crosses all of these lines and is yet somehow tolerated. I think it’s time for another ecumenical council to deal with this heresy.

    • Monk

      Yes! With two living popes, I’d say it’s a perfect time for an ecumenical council.