White Supremacist Catholic Really Hoping That Heaven Is Segregated

August 14, 2017 by  
Filed under Politics

Saints

  Cradle Catholic and longtime white supremacist Jacob Baton told those gathered at a local rally Monday that he was really hoping, though pretty darn sure, that heaven was segregated. The 43-year-old father of five said that the thought came to him as he was in line to receive communion yesterday. “I was thinking about how if logic prevails, as well as justice, races would have to be segregated in heaven. I mean, I’m not saying that I don’t... Read More

Prolife Judge Deports Pregnant Illegal Immigrant; Allows Fetus To Stay

June 19, 2017 by  
Filed under Politics

  Prolife judge Anthony Gabel ordered Fairuz Naoum, a pregnant illegal immigrant, to be deported back to Iraq last week, just moments before giving her unborn baby permission to stay in the United States. Gabel told EOTT this morning that 27-year-old Naoum, a Christian living in Dearborn, Michigan, would have to leave the country immediately, though her deportation back to her native Iraq meant a possible death sentence. “I understand the gravity... Read More

Montana Bishop Candidate Allegedly Body Slams Catholic News Agency Reporter

May 25, 2017 by  
Filed under Politics

Bodyslam-Hugo Fernandes

Bodyslam-Hugo Fernandes   Just days after rumors emerged that Montana priest Fr. Gregory Forte could be made a bishop, reports that he apparently attacked a Catholic News Agency reporter the night before the pope made his final decision has thrown the diocese into turmoil. Political reporter for Catholic News Agency Mary Rezac claimed late Wednesday night that while asking Forte a question regarding how silly altar girls look when they wear high heels,... Read More

First Lady Melania Trump Swats Away President’s Hand During Our Father

May 24, 2017 by  
Filed under Politics

Image_Dodo

Image_Dodo   For the second time in just a few days, first lady Melania Trump was seen avoiding holding hands with her husband Donald Trump, this time at the Vatican during the recitation of the Our Father. Just days after she was caught swatting President Trump’s hand away in Israel, Melania was again seen swatting away her husband’s hand, this time in front of the Pope. “Awwwkward,” said Pope Francis. Adding insult to injury,... Read More

Trump Announces He Has Possession Of Fourth Secret Of Fatima; Claims The Other Secrets Were Fake News

April 10, 2017 by  
Filed under Politics

Fátima_José Luiz Bernardes Ribeiro

Fátima_José Luiz Bernardes Ribeiro   White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer announced today that the Trump administration has obtained the Fourth Secret of Fatima, which reportedly details the fake news contained in all of the other secrets of Fatima. “According to President Trump, at around noon today, the Virgin Mary entrusted him with the secret,” Spicer told EOTT. “The President wrote the secret down and sealed it in the envelope I am... Read More

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