Coexist Bumper Sticker Ushers In Era Of World Peace

January 10, 2017 by  
Filed under Politics

Thanks to a Coexist bumper sticker spotted on the rear bumper of a local Toyota Prius today, the Organization for World Peace (OWP) has announced that every armed conflict in the world has officially come to an end. The sticker, located on the rear bumper of local “citizen of the world” Debbie Rowland, was posted on social media with the inscription “Peace Mongering,” where it soon went viral. “The wars in Iraq and Afghanistan... Read More

Meryl Streep Takes Aim At Dubia During Golden Globes Speech

January 9, 2017 by  
Filed under Politics

Image: neon-tommy

Image: neon-tommy Just moments after being honored at the Golden Globes for her lifetime of work, actress Meryl Streep took the opportunity to make a sustained attack on Cardinal Burke’s dubia. In her four-minute address while accepting the award, the actress denounced Burke’s traditionalist rhetoric and criticized him for trying to bully the Pope. “There was one performance this year that stunned me,” Streep said. “It sank its hooks in... Read More

Pope Francis Calls For More Vatican Nukes In Annual Christmas Message

December 28, 2016 by  
Filed under Politics

Just days after Pope Francis offered a message of hope in his annual “Urbi et Orbi” Christmas day message, the Pontiff has now backtracked, saying that if peace could not prevail, he would be forced to join the United States and Russia in an arms race. Pope Francis told EOTT in an exclusive interview this morning that “We will outmatch Russia and the U.S. at every pass and outlast them all, both spiritually as well as with our growing stockpile of... Read More

Santa Reassigns “Rigid” Elf On The Shelf To Malta

December 21, 2016 by  
Filed under Politics

Image: An Errant Knight

Image: An Errant Knight Santa Claus has reassigned a conservative “scout elf” from a key post in a home near Farmington Hills, Michigan to one that is mostly symbolic. Ray, the Elf on the Shelf in question, has been a leading stickler for those being naughty or nice, and has been vocal in his criticism of the direction that Santa has been leading Christmas in. Ray was one of the highest ranking scout elves in the North Pole hierarchy in his position... Read More

Pope Hosts Interfaith Peace Gathering Between Vatican And Priestly Fraternity Of St. Peter In Assisi

December 20, 2016 by  
Filed under Politics

Image: RyansWorld

Image: RyansWorld In what Pope Francis called “the first ever interfaith peace gathering between the Vatican and the Priestly Fraternity of St. Peter (FSSP) ” in Assisi, the Pontiff told those gathered that “calling people rigid in the name of God does not represent the true nature of religion and must be condemned by all.” “We never tire of repeating that the name of God cannot be used to justify insults. We must always remember... Read More

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