Pope Francis Awaiting Final Approval Of Internet Troll Before Promulgating Encyclical

May 29, 2014 by  
Filed under Parish Life

 

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VATICAN–Vatican sources are confirming that Pope Francis has nearly completed his new Encyclical Letter, and is awaiting the final approval of Reginald Edwards, an internet troll commonly known as “PiusXIIRoxII.”

Edwards, who has read several paragraphs of the Catechism, three books by Peter Kreeft, and half of St. John Paul II’s “Fides et Ratio,” is universally regarded as the final authority in matters of Orthodoxy in internet chatrooms, forums, and the comment section under YouTube videos.

Speaking from the kitchen this morning, Reginald’s mother told EOTT over a phone interview: “I’m so proud of Reggie for getting to be a consultant to the Vatican. He’s more than earned it. All he does is sit in the basement on his computer, answering questions and demanding people justify their beliefs to him. He gets so into it that he often locks the door and doesn’t let me down there, even to bring him lemonade.”

Edwards has already made several notes on the new Encyclical, titled Bora et Labora, having circled or underlined several paragraphs in red and written margin notes such as “a little too Spirit of Vatican-II-ey” and “where is this in the Catechism?”

  • mchicha

    I am he, and being that I am now approving this encyclical, should I be ze Pope?

  • Lord Humphrey Bitterbatch

    You win the internet.

  • I thought the Holy Father only needed Jimmy Akin’s approval…

  • T. Audrey Glamour

    I know him! He’s always posting over in the comboxes on the NcR website. (The one with the “c” not the “C”.)

    Now I know for sure this is not a satire site like all my Facebook friends are telling me when I share articles from this site.

    Love you PiusXIIRoxII
    xxxoooxxxooo

  • There’s no truth to the rumor that George Weigel has already written his column dismissing the Holy Father’s new encyclical.

  • Mike Stanek

    are these trolls visible only to pope Francis?

  • guest

    Should the pope listen to a troll? I mean, can trolls be baptised? Meh, who am I to judge?

  • David Naas

    Billy Sunday (an old Evangelical revivalist) once remarked, “Any sinner can be saved, but stupid is forever.” Well, stupid may not be forever, but stupid remarks on the Internet seem as if they are forever. Hence, the apparent longevity of trolls.