Fetus Only A Blob Of Tissue, Says 47-Year-Old Blob Of Tissue

June 5, 2014 by  
Filed under Politics

While reiterating  that a fetus is nothing more than a blob of tissue, a 47-year-old blob of tissue today told a gathering of the Planned Parenthood Clergy Advisory Board that a fetus is only a human being in potential.

“We must remember that until a fetus has a heart and a brain, it is not a human being” said the aged mass of cells, who, despite her age, was lacking a heart and brain herself. The aged mass of cells who was nothing more than a product of conception went on to say that a fetus was nothing more than another part of a pregnant woman’s body, “like an appendix.”

“When a fetus cannot exist independent of the mother, it cannot be regarded as a separate entity,” said the clump of cells, whose very own 53-year jobless older brother was currently living at home with his mother. The blob of tissue went on to add that the Church cannot tell a woman what she can and cannot do with her body, and demanded that the Mystical Body of Christ ordain women and permit abortion.

At press time, the heartless, brainless blob of tissue is preparing her speech to federal officials about expanding the critical habitat zone of the California tiger salamander.