New Scott Hahn Drinking Game Has Readers Taking Shot After Every Mention Of Word “Covenant”

June 29, 2014 by  
Filed under Parish Life

Steubenville, OH––A new, dangerous drinking game invented by Franciscan University of Steubenville sophomore Ben Johnson, known as Covenant, is sweeping Catholic universities. The game, which involves players reading any book ever published by Scott Hahn, and then taking a shot of whiskey or beer every time the word “covenant” is mentioned, is raising major concerns with university officials.

What originally started out as fun for some has now turned dangerous, officials are reporting, with one man listed in critical condition and at least 47 others being admitted to area hospitals for alcohol poisoning. Now health professionals are warning Catholics of the dangers of playing Covenant.

“This is one of, if not the most, lethal games I’ve ever come across,” said Dr. Candice Jarvis, medical adviser to the USCCB. “The thing about alcohol is that it affects your ability to recognize how many times Scott Hahn uses the word “covenant,” and it absolutely effects your ability to ask the question of whether or not there are any synonyms of the word he could be using. You go into the game thinking the word will be read two or three times, and next thing you know you’re on your 26th shot after just a few paragraphs. I’d even venture to say that it would be safer if students took a shot after every mention of the word ‘the.’”

Game creator Ben Johnson told EOTT this morning that the game is admittedly more dangerous and “way crazier” than the Rick Warren drinking game he played when he was an Evangelical. “In that game we’d chug Pepsi every time we came across the word ‘Purpose.’ The worst thing I ever witnessed playing that game was people getting major sugar highs.”

At press time, Scott Hahn has urged students to consider the potential “prophets and losses” of playing Covenant.

  • Oh, my….this is almost as bad as the game where the kids take a shot for every time they read “Mercy” in a Marian Helpers mailing.

  • cececole

    Before you know it, there will be a game where kids take a shot for everytime Pope Francis using “joy” in a homily or teaching.

  • glol.

  • Rob

    It rather depends on which Hahn book you use. You would probably get thirsty rather than commit the mortal sin of drunkenness if you were playing this game with shots of beer and Angels and Saints. (only 23 instances in 208 pages). Evangelizing Catholics is perhaps a little more dangerous (only 51 instances in 192 pages but they’re crowded together in section three) but still not bad.

    NB: No one should attempt to play this game over a copy of Consuming the Word.

  • Jenny Uebbing

    For drinkers playing at sea level, it might be necessary to throw in an extenuating clause: maybe an extra shot per pun to ensure maximum bac is attained?

  • Marie Van Gompel Alsbergas

    Has anybody counted up “Home Sweet Rome”? Maybe that’s why attendance is down, It was a gift to the congregation at Easter!

  • Lee Bacchi

    Excellent satire of the author’s favorite theological expression.

  • Lee Bacchi

    Shot of the Precious Blood?

    • AntoinetteMauradi

      Have some respect please, that is a shameful comment.

  • totustuus333

    this is so funny

  • OMG You guys have surpassed yourselves yet again.

    • somnipod

      Tina! You just broke a commandment by abbreviated use of the Lords name in vain!
      See you outside the confessional before Sunday communion?

      • Yes. I will be there. sigh….

        • somnipod

          🙂
          Me too.
          Before someone jumps in to call me a Pharisee / RadTrad / reactionary / neopalagian / restorationist / with a traditionalist drift… I was totally kidding.

          • Damn if they call you a Pharisee/RadTrad/Reactionary/Neopelagian/restorationist/with a traditionalist drift …well, I will drink a vodka martini toast to you…

      • Veiled

        What is wrong with Oh My Gosh?

  • Can’t wait to read “Kinship by Covenant” now…

    • I fail to see the humor in all of this, or why you would poke fun at a serious problem and a point of disrespect.

      • somnipod

        Father, Brandon is what has been called a “professional Catholic”. Pay no mind…

        • Hi! As I wrote in another reply, ” I taught for many years, and in the last two months I have buried two of my former students because of drug and alcohol abuse. The pain for their families and peers is unbelievable.” Being rather new to EOTT I was surprised by the post.

      • Darran McDonnell

        Don’t worry Father, this is just satire!

        • Thanks, Darran. I taught for many years, and in the last two months I have buried two of my former students because of drug and alcohol abuse. The pain for their families and peers is unbelievable.

          • Darran McDonnell

            That is very unfortunate indeed Father, I am sorry to hear this. My mother and I will offer tonight’s Rosary also for this intention. Don’t worry, though, a great number of people think that EOTT is real news the first time they find it, me included!

  • Elizabeth Petrides

    Most college kids will do stupid things. That’s the nature of the beast. The frontal cortex isn’t working properly at that age. It’s not a matter of religion or where they go to college. Too much drinking by college students is dangerous no matter what. I hope these kids find a better game to play. (And actually, I’m secretly hoping this story is a hoax.)

    • somnipod

      FYI.. every story on EOTT is totally fake.
      Is like the Onion.

      • Elizabeth Petrides

        I’m so glad to hear this. When my daughter sent me the story, she neglected to tell me that.

  • somnipod

    This is old news and the kids in Catholic school have moved on.

    The game sweeping campus now is “Shea’nanigans”. Every time a certain slandar-prone (yet strangely popular with mainstream media) catholic-convert blogger writes a post on his patheos blog uncharitably, frothingly ripping Into “reactionaries, lazy people, anyone even THINKING of discusding the Catholic Church and it’s teaching on geocentrism, radtrads, modernists, conservatives, progressives, gun rights supporters, people wanting to reexamine the 2nd amendment, “Latin onlyists”, people only wanting local vernacular masd, cradle Catholics, recent converts, water boarding supporters for terrorists, people against waterboarding, those who question the Catholic campaign for human development (CCHD), and those who support Catholic collections going to pro-abortion/homo/Marxist social justice groups, those who say “tomayto”, those who say “tomahto”, those who dare to question Father Baron’s theology on hell, Michael Voris. There is a “take four shots” turn whenever a “mea culpa” post is written. This is all too common and had lead to several cases of alcohol poisoning.

    The most dangerous part of this game are the drink conversions that the students have added onto Shea’nanigans. If Robert Sungenis is called anti-Semitic there is a x2 conversion. This is so common that Providence College had to be closed when Sungenis’ movie “The Principle” was released. That week was the “perfect storm” to show the dangers of Shea’nanigans. Robert Sungenis was on Michael Voris’ show “Mic’ed Up’ speaking of the possibility of geocentrism being truth and “maybe we’ve had it wrong and Galileo was also wrong? ” Needless to say, the frothy uncharitable and hysterical ravings coming off the blog and Facebook page lead the Shea’nanigans drinking have to overwhelm health services departments across virtually every Catholic college that week.

    Hopefully Shea’nanigans will fall it off popularity with the kids.
    Because Lord knows this proffesional catholic blogger won’t stop calumniating any b time soon.

    • Andy, Bad Person

      And speaking of calumny…

      • Salvelinus

        Nope…

  • Michael

    this game is perfect for long drives with a lighthouse catholic media cd. i recommend signs of life. he says covenant at least seventy times seven times in that one.

  • Catholic Jester

    The thing is, this isn’t actually a satire, as a FUS student, I can tell you this game does exist, but we haven’t played it (yet).

  • Michael Leggett

    There is the Michael Voris Drinking Game, where for every mention of Cardinal Dolan, 2 Beers must be downed, ditto Cardinal Wuehrl & 3 beer pints for just saying “Trapped and Exposed.”
    All the Pepto Bismol in the World wouldn’t help.

  • Shannon TheBlogger

    Oh my gosh. I almost fell out of my chair when I saw the title. Thanks for making me laugh, EOTT.

  • IBulldog Buz

    Hahn is an a to z protestant. No need of conversion in the ecumaniac novus ordo church.

  • Brigid Lynch

    what about the word “mortal sin” =have catholics forgotten it is a mortal sin to get drunk or to go to confession to confess getting drunk on purpose or avoiding those places dangerous to morals but not having the intention to not sin again…it is a disgrace…is personal morality being taught at these supposed “orthodox ” campuses or just arrogance

  • Marc

    As a person who has taken 4 classes from Dr Hahn at FUS, this is absolutely hilarious. I think the author must also be a Hahn alumni.

  • John

    Funny thing is, this game actually exists among us students. With soda at least.