New Study Shows Larger Number Of Faithful Catholics Living In Mosul Than In California

July 28, 2014 by  
Filed under Libs & Trads

According to a new report out today by the Vatican, there are currently more Catholics who adhere to the Magisterium of the Catholic Church currently residing in war-torn Mosul than in California.

The report shows that although the Christian population in Mosul has been completely decimated by members of ISIS, thereby leaving not a single Christian in the region, that it still somehow boasts a larger number of wholehearted Christians than in California.

One Christian who was forced to move from his home in Sacramento, Cameron Baker, told EOTT that he prays every day that he can one day return to his home. “When liberalism and relativism invaded California, I was forced to leave my job and my home. I had to move to a more morally safe part of the country. We still have a family member in California, but we still have not heard from him. We pray every day that he is fine.”

Baker’s wife, Jane Baker, told EOTT that they had originally considered moving to Mosul, but that they would not leave until they heard from a relative still purportedly living in California. “I will never forget the day when soldiers came to our home and drew a rainbow on our door. They gave us three options. We could accept gay marriage, pay a heterosexual tax, or face death by having to watch Bravo.”

  • Schnug

    Not impressed. This is in bad taste.

    • Baron Kaza

      Offended … good!!! its perfect

      • Schnug

        I’m just too saddened by the plight of the Christians of Mosul to laugh at anything featuring a picture of smoke rising off what may have been one of their homes. Sure, California is full of crazies, and maybe I’m well on my way to becoming a stuffy old lady, but I just take the persecution over there too seriously to use it in a joke, even one that shows some truth.

    • AJ Jackson

      How is this in bad taste?

  • Here’s how the Muslims involved in ISIS are betraying their tradition by being too organized:

  • PureCatholic

    I know everyone is going to complain( blah,blah,blah)but this was freaking hilarious. Come on Catholics lighten up or else you will be that stuffy old lady who lives in every church and everyone dislikes because they are negative about everything………..

  • AreAy

    As an Iraqi Christian, I find the events that have transpired in California against our Catholic brethren to be absolutely appalling. How dare you poke fun at this! And SO SOON!

  • T. Audrey Glamour

    Of those who don’t like this article…I ask you, have you ever been to/lived in California?

    I’m beginning to wonder if EOTT is no longer satire…!

    • Almario Javier

      Depends on the region.

  • Alan Sides

    If you’d used Massachusets I’d have bought it.

  • Nick the Californian

    Soon to be “Nick from Mosul”

  • Hugh Byrnes

    The tragedy alluded too is very humorous. Is this the only way left to call attention to the pathetic state the Catholic Church finds itself in today? The seriousness of the loss of millions of souls should inspire far more sober reflection. That “stuffy old lady” is one of the few that is holding this Church together and I for one am eternally grateful to her.