Rad Trad Woman Just Wants A Good Man Who’s Willing To Wait Till Marriage Before Flagellating

March 6, 2018 by  
Filed under Libs & Trads

Local SSPV woman Deanna Russell confessed to friends late last night that all she wanted in life was a good and holy man who was willing to wait till marriage before flagellating his body. “I don’t know, call me old fashion, but I don’t wanna flagellate my body with just anyone,” she told friends as she sighed, longingly, at the thought of the day when she would share that sacred moment with her husband as both he and she scourged their bodies... Read More

Disgruntled Parishioner Vows To Halt Weekly $1 Donation Until Church Accepts Female Priests

November 20, 2017 by  
Filed under Libs & Trads

  Disgruntled Parishioner of St. Agatha Catholic Church James Fitzgerald reported yesterday that he would hence for no longer financial assist the church with his customary weekly one dollar contribution until the Church begins to allow women to become priests. 63-year-old Fitzgerald, who considers himself a “feminist at heart,” told St. Agatha pastor Fr. Timothy Reynolds that he could no longer stand by and watch an outdated institution continue... Read More

Protestants Worldwide Venerate Statue Of Martin Luther In Honor Of Reformation Day

November 1, 2017 by  
Filed under Libs & Trads

Image_Jorge Royan   Protestants from across the globe flocked to Wittenberg, Germany Tuesday to venerate a statue of Martin Luther in honor of the 500th anniversary of the Protestant Reformation. Many in the Lutheran and Lutheran-leaning community including pastor of Torrential Downpour Church Morgan Kremin attended ceremonies that started with a morning veneration of the statue of Martin Luther located near All Saints’ Church in Wittenberg and... Read More

Weird Sedevacantist Group Apparently Still Waiting for Messiah

October 4, 2017 by  
Filed under Libs & Trads

  Telling those gathered at the annual Confederation of Ultra Traditionalists that they would not recognize the authority of the pope until he acknowledged that the Messiah has not yet arrived, members of SSPBC this afternoon announced new guidelines to help Catholics understand what it means to be in “full communion with the Church.” “We hope that these guidelines help illustrate that to be in full communion with the Church means to accept... Read More

Joel Osteen Vigorously Attempting To Shove Camel Through Eye Of Needle

August 29, 2017 by  
Filed under Libs & Trads

Image: RobertMWorsham   [News Brief]   Just days after refusing to offer shelter at his megachurch to victims of Hurricane Harvey, popular pastor Joel Osteen of Lakewood Church in Houston was seen vigorously attempting to shove a camel through the eye of a needle. In a post on Twitter Saturday, Osteen said he was praying for those affected by the storm, and asked Christians to pray for him to gain eternal life. “We all know how difficult it... Read More

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