Cardinal Kasper Says Bible Spreads ‘Confusion’ And ‘Division’

February 12, 2019 by  
Filed under Libs & Trads

Just days after Cardinal Müller published a “Manifesto of Faith,” which reiterated fundamental Catholic teachings in response to what he sees as growing confusion about the doctrine of the Faith, Cardinal Kasper has accused him of making “unacceptable blanket statements.” Kasper said that Müller’s Manifesto, that simply reaffirmed basic Catholic teaching found in the Bible and Catechism of the Catholic Church, was an attack on Pope... Read More

Local Rad Trad Gives Wife Permission To Receive Communion

November 1, 2018 by  
Filed under Libs & Trads

  Admitting that his wife had done a “fairly good job” being subservient to him this week, local SSPV man Randall Thomas acknowledged Wednesday that he was satisfied just enough with his wife to allow her to receive communion this Sunday. “When Margaret Elizabeth and I first got married, she was really on her game,” Thomas said, watching his wife sweep the kitchen. “We had some great times while she cooked and cleaned and did nothing else but... Read More

Vacationing Catholic Family Excited To See What Liturgical Abuses Practiced In Visiting Parish

September 5, 2018 by  
Filed under Libs & Trads

  Returning to his hometown with his family for the first time in over five years, Catholic family man Alex Trumble voiced his desire Saturday afternoon to trying out a new parish where he and his family could “get a taste of the local liturgical abuses practiced this side of the country.” “We’ve been to Folk Masses and Clown Masses back home, but I hear they have an interesting Buddhist themed Mass over here,” Trumble said of the rumors he... Read More

Outraged Critics of Pope Francis Demand He Answer “Laurel/Yanny” Dubia

May 17, 2018 by  
Filed under Libs & Trads

  Pope Francis’ exhortation on the Laurel/Yanny debate, in which he appears to open the possibility of communion for people no matter whether they hear the word “Laurel” or “Yanny” has outraged many of his critics. Four cardinals have now issued an open letter to Pope Francis calling for him to respond to their dubia over his decision, which they say goes against what they hear in the audio recording. The audio clip, which was posted on social... Read More

Rad Trad Woman Just Wants A Good Man Who’s Willing To Wait Till Marriage Before Flagellating

March 6, 2018 by  
Filed under Libs & Trads

Local SSPV woman Deanna Russell confessed to friends late last night that all she wanted in life was a good and holy man who was willing to wait till marriage before flagellating his body. “I don’t know, call me old fashion, but I don’t wanna flagellate my body with just anyone,” she told friends as she sighed, longingly, at the thought of the day when she would share that sacred moment with her husband as both he and she scourged their bodies with... Read More

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