Pope Francis Says Forces Of Gravity And Electromagnetism Are Real

October 28, 2014 by  
Filed under Vatican

VATICAN––In a stunning break with centuries of Catholic teaching, Pope Francis announced today that the forces of Gravity and Electromagnetism are real, adding that “God is not a magician with a magic wand.” This is in stark contrast with the teaching of his predecessor, Pope Benedict XVI, whose third Encyclical is entitled “God the Magician: Why Gravity Doesn’t Exist.”

During this address to the Pontifical Academy of the Sciences, Pope Francis rocked the Catholic world, which has been a staunch enemy of science since the Church’s public excommunication, execution, and dismemberment of Galileo in 1633. His statements have been called “progressive” by the liberals in the Church who, contrary to the Catechism of the Council of Trent, deny that every falling object is pulled downward by an angel created for that specific purpose by Jesus and Mother Mary.

“It is not inconsistent with the Catholic faith to believe that matter warps space-time,” Pope Francis stated, “such that objects that would normally have travelled in a straight line would bend their path along this curvature and even fall toward the heavier object.” This is a direct contradiction of the teaching of Doctor of the Church St. Bonaventure, who proved through Aristotelian philosophy that objects are attracted toward one another through Love of God and neighbor.

His Holiness did not limit his remarks to gravity, but included the “thorny issue” of electromagnetism in his remarks as well, stating that a Catholic has the right to believe that light travels through space as an electromagnetic wave. This implies a non-literal reading of the Book of Genesis, which says: “And God said: ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light, which is the brightness of God’s teeth when he smiles.”

  • Alexander S Anderson

    When can we believe in light quanta, though???

    • Sage Basil

      whenever quantum mechanics figures out how to be compatible with gravity

  • thank you. exactly.

  • Cajun

    If my heart could write news reports…

    You have all of my love, Eye. All of it.

  • We’ll have to wait until the final report of the 2015 Synod to know whether the Higgs boson exists. Because they may have gifts and qualities to offer the Christian community.

    • Matt Kososki

      God hates Higgs bosons.

      • We don’t have to change doctrine on Higgs particles, just the discipline.

        • Steve Marshall

          But without Higgs, we wouldn’t have mass!

          • Finally, someone who understands what matters. And besides, look how long it took us to acknowledge that leptons, too, are indivisible! We must remain open to the Holy Spirit.

          • Frankly

            Grave subject, indeed. You folks are hilarious.

          • T. Audrey Glamour

            Thanks to the Irish we have leptons!

            …er, maybe I didn’t get that quite right…

          • Waitforit777


          • sew_n_2_u

            And if we couldn’t have mass we wouldn’t be Catholics!

          • Edmund T. Dean

            This is the most epic comment in the history of comments. I am stealing it.

          • Chris Ferrara

            Or rather, the Standard Model would not be able to explain mass, which is not the same thing.

      • ithakavi

        You are confusing them with Hogg’s Bisons – which are now extinct.

    • Philippa Martyr

      It’s not ‘Higgs Boson’, it’s ‘Higgs Same-Particle Attracted’, thank you very much.

    • JoFlemings

      Sister, you are my favorite!

  • Love this article. Perfect.

  • Joan

    This is one of your best yet. Eye, you are awesome! lol

  • Philippa Martyr

    Yeah, but what about the flatness of the earth? Thank God the Holy Father didn’t speak on that one; we’re having enough trouble reconciling with the SSPX as it is.

    • T. Audrey Glamour

      Oh forpitysakes…don’t bring up that whole Columbus thing.


  • oldguy293549

    “During this address to the Pontifical Academy of the Sciences, Pope Francis rocked the Catholic world, which has been a staunch enemy of science since the Church’s public excommunication, execution, and dismemberment of Galileo in 1633.” Galileo was not killed and dismembered. He was put into house arrest because he prostate himself and recanted even though he was right.

    • HappyCatholic

      Aaaaand we found them. : )
      This is a satire; the entire Eye of the Tiber is a satire site. Think “The Onion” but Catholic. The point of that statement was that every educated Catholic KNOWS Galileo was not killed nor was he dismembered; it was poking fun at all the people out there who actually believe such nonsense.

      Don’t feel bad; everyone on this site made the same mistake the first time they read an Eye of the Tiber piece. Mine was about Ancient Roman Christians being angry at changing the “traditional” aramaic Mass into the “vernacular” Latin, haha. It’s all just in good fun. : ) Pax et bonum, brother!

      • oldguy293549

        I have met educated people from the middle east and they were taught that Galileo was killed. People talk about the need for education but who’s facts?

        • HappyCatholic

          Well, the true ones, I suppose. : )
          I just mean that everyone who reads this site probably knows that. P&B!

          • oldguy293549

            your comment that everyone who reads this site knows it is a farces is wrong. there are several comments from others on this vine that did not know this was a farce site used by religious people to make fun of others. ignorance of religious people is worn on their sleeves as they make statements like all people when it the truth is it is some!

          • HappyCatholic

            Haha, alright, brother, take it easy; I didn’t mean to offend.
            : ) Like I said, nearly everyone who reads their first article on here doesn’t realize it’s satire; I know I sure didn’t. This article was basically just poking fun at the fact that many people have the (erroneous) idea that the Catholic Church is anti-science; again, it’s all in good fun. : ) P&B!

          • oldguy293549

            it is not an idea that the catholic church is anti science it is history. the church stood against so many ideas that have been proven true that the list is ridiculously long, but here is two. the vacuum , the church stated that it could not exist and two how the church changed its calendar from a moon based system to a sun based system where they built a sun observatory to watch for the winter solstice when the sun rest then three days latter its rises?

          • HappyCatholic

            *Sighs* And we’re back to the Galileo trial again… I was originally under the impression you were just confused as to the nature of the article and the site’s purpose. It appears I was wrong… regarding Galileo, yes, the matter of his trial was unfair and unfortunate, even when looking at what historically happened instead of just buying into the myths, but- and this is the important part- his theories were never actually denounced infallibly as heretical- that is to say, the Church never said anything on it “Ex Cathedra” or from the Magesterium as a whole. So, it doesn’t actually affect papal infallibility.

            Look, if you’re just here to argue, I really don’t have time, nor am I an expert on the Galileo trial or Church history. My suggestion to you would be to call in to your local EWNT radio station or ask a local Church history professor, or pose the question to an online Catholic forum. They’d probably be able to answer your questions better than I can. Pax et bonum, brother, and God bless. : )

          • oldguy293549

            I’m not here to argue but respond where I see some one spreading nonsense. this article and the site it is from are revealed in its about statement. you should read it and then go to the onion and read their faqs and their statements and maybe you can pickup the difference between being statical and not. this article appeared as world news on a reddit site so I read it as news. I do not read fiction or interested in what the onion has to say. I do watch south park and in s18e03 a main character states ” when someone is not allowed to express who they are inside then we all lose” A society that stands up for those who represent just a small number amongst us has been strengthen through out history . Imagine being persecuted for you words. that is the history of the church and it one thats is represented every day by its actions.

          • HappyCatholic

            All religions have their Spanish Inquisitions; so do atheism and agnosticism. I’m not denying that people have used Catholicism to justify terrible things; no one is. But that doesn’t mean that Catholicism isn’t true. After all, people have done awful things in the name of science, but that doesn’t mean we disregard science, does it? Also, not that you don’t have a valid point about self-expression, but I’m afraid I don’t put much stock into the philosophy of South Park.

            I’m sorry if reddit tried to post this as a factual “world news” article, but I don’t really see how that’s Eye of the Tiber’s fault; this site is a satire site and makes that very clear. If someone at reddit didn’t read the article (or mistook it for legitimate news), that’s their fault, not EOTT’s. I assume you were referring to the article when you said “nonsense,” to which I would respond that yes, the article is nonsensical and is written to be that way. If you were referring to me, I’m afraid I can’t see where I’ve said something nonsensical? I’ve stated the actual facts of the Galileo case as best I know them and admitted that I was not an expert in the trial’s history; I’ve related accurate information regarding the Catholic doctrine of infallibility; I’ve explained the point of the site and this article; and I’ve admitted freely that people have used my faith to their own evil ends. As far as I can see, everything I’ve said has been quite honest and logical.

          • oldguy293549

            the article profligates a belief that is taught all over the world to be true. that is not satire. people believe Galileo was killed by the church because they have a church education. You do not know what science is if you think people have done terrible things in its defense. science is the free exchange of differing ideas with out the fear of persecution . then the idea must meet a verification process that grows as the knowledge base grows. that has nothing to do with nazi doctors chopping up live patients for their research and every thing to do with people not see other people as equal. science does not profligate that people are not equal are under the law, but religious people are doing it now. do you want to live in Iran where they are hanging young gay men in public or america where young gay men are talented and hard working and are producing positive gains for all of us?

          • HappyCatholic

            …I have a Catholic education, and I was never taught that Galileo was killed by the Church…? I’m pretty sure that’s the last thing the Church would want to the students in its schools to think…

            I didn’t say people did evil things in defense of science; I said they justified evil using the name of science, the same way people have justified evil using the name of religion. That’s not to say that either science or religion are bad and evil things; they’re very good things that people have twisted and abused to get across an agenda or harm other people.

            I’m also a little confused; I never mentioned the issue of homosexuality, so I’m somewhat baffled as to why you would bring it up? But if you insist, here’s what the Church has to say about people with same-sex attraction. Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraph 2358:


            So there you are. People with same-sex attraction must be “accepted with respect, compassion and sensitivity.” The Church does not in any way condone executing, harming, or otherwise “unjustly discriminating” against such people. If people attempt to use the Church’s teaching on the truth about marriage as an excuse to hurt others, then they are in direct violation of the laws of God and the Church. P&B, brother!

          • Richardson McPhillips

            I don’t think it’s worth it. He lost me when he said he knew well-educated people who had been taught that Galileo was killed. Well then, they WEREN’T well-educated.

          • HappyCatholic

            *Sighs* You might be right… I don’t like getting into online debates, which was why I was perfectly polite when I responded the first few times, but if this is just going to turn into a gay marriage argument, then I’ve got better things to do with my time. Pax et bonum. : )

          • oldguy293549

            “That’s not to say that either science or religion are bad and evil things;” I would science has brought people clean water and so many things and religion has brought what? religion is an attempt to put some one in charge when people live naturally in anarchy where there is no leader and every one is in charge. religion or yours to be exact has cause around a 1 thousand years of lost progress, so if you think that is good your definition of good is different from mine.

          • Peter

            Science has brought people clean water and so many things and religion has brought what?

            There is one religion that brought the concept of the human personhood and its sacredness.

            I’m guessing that after all the other ideas brought into the world by the forces of superstition and backwardness have faded into irrelevance, you would probably like to keep that one?

          • oldguy293549

            so slavery is understanding peoples sacredness. you basically are assigning what knowledge brought to human kind to religion when understanding is the exact opposite of religions intention. religion is just about trying to put some one in charge.

          • Peter

            It’s true that the Church never banned slavery, they simply denied the all-important difference between slaves and masters. You and I might wish that that had borne fruit a couple of thousand years faster, but at least we should be glad that it happened. I’m not aware of any other religions or civilisations that brought about an Abolitionist movement – certainly not a widely effective one.

            As for clean water: I’m not sure exactly what you are trying to say. Much of Western Europe has historically been among the more backward parts of the world technology-wise, but at the same time much of our technology could have been implemented hundreds or even thousands of years earlier if only someone had thought of it. If you are going to blame the Church for not inventing better sanitation, you may as well blame them for not inventing the electric light or modern crop rotation as well.

          • fredx2

            Of course you are correct. I remember when Pope Celestine V said “None of this “clean water” for us. Give us beer and wine. Clean water is for babies.”

            Of course this DID make the middle ages a very happy time. But they did run to the bathroom a lot.

          • Marzo

            Besides clean water and antibiotics and the like science has brougth people poison gas, high explosives, aerial bombardment, nuclear explosives… Hardly an unmixed lot.

          • T. Audrey Glamour

            I wish I could say he’s a troll but he (I’m assuming he’s male from the name) seems to be truly well meaning.

            As Jude said way up topic: “Come, let me embrace you.”

          • oldguy293549

            I have met people that were educated in the middle east in church schools and were taught that Galileo was killed. I was taken back by their education but you can not say some one you have not met is not well educated – you represent your self well casting a put down on some one you do not know. One of the individuals after coming to America has earned their computer science degree on top of the chemical engineering degree they had earned in iraq. from my experience that is well educated. you make assumption that will help you hurt others just as the church you represent does every day.

          • Julie Winkelbauer

            “when has science ever hurt anyone?” -ummm… The Tuskegee syphilis trial, Nazi experiments?

          • oldguy293549

            science can’t hurt any one. people hurt others in their pursuit of knowledge in many forms and that is not science. maybe you can understand that science is defined in the modern area as the simple idea that we can only develop sound understanding if the idea can be independently verified. science is the idea that what you say is true needs a path of independent verification for others so they do not rely on just your personal experience. about the nazis and the creeps who poisoned back men. they did not share their work and did it in secret lacking any independently verification because they new they were not doing real science as it is define. independent research is meaningless in a scientific community today. the church did research to, look up the book they wrote on testing a witch. was not science either but was a pursuit of knowledge. I hope you can mange to understand the difference.

          • Peter

            Science can’t hurt any one. people hurt others in their pursuit of knowledge in many forms and that is not science

            If that is true, then the Church gets off the hook very easily. Inquisitors and witch-hunters might hurt others in their zeal, but a religion based on Love can’t hurt anyone, therefore the Spanish Inquisition was really nothing to do with the Church.

            You might just as well say that all true Scotsmen have salt on their porridge, so Uncle Angus having sugar instead doesn’t really mean what you think it does.

          • oldguy293549

            yes but you do not understand do you. the church was the one behind outlawing books. Copernicus is just one example of a book the church wanted stopped because it revealed some idea that it could not cope with. science in a modern era is about the free exchange of any idea. the nazi science failed because they stop doing science when they lost their freedoms and failed when they started out way ahead. we on the other hand used a scientific community that then gave away the secrets because true science is for all. many people call them selves scientist few really are. our modern media works to discredited science with the irrelevant reporting of every crackpot study and theory. few individuals can even understand the current state of science and are completely unaware of what is currently understood and the chain of logic that enables it.

          • scott

            You named things science has brought us and asked what religion has brought us. Well, the Catholic tradition gave us the Big Bang Theory, the Scientific Method and the modern hospital system, to name a few…

          • oldguy293549

            you should add every religion that has come along with the same foundation of faith. imagine a world where the jews started with the convent of science and rejected any claims that were not verifiable and that was the tradition that was passed down. how would the world be different? do you realize that if it comes down to just faith then any nonsense is true . muslims pray to a meteorite that fell from the sky. their great profit claimed that he rode a horse to heaven and back and met god and jesus and Adam and moses and the only thing he had to say was that moses cried because he did not bring as many soles to heaven. now that is as stupid as believing jesus was dead for three days then got and walked around and his body diapered leaving no trace of him not even his shoe or clothes. that is impossible to be dead and rotting and then come back to life. that is impossible and to believe in the impossible invites others to believe anything they make up. like Joseph smith who read a bible from golden plates with magic stones say good going believers look around you reap what you so. like scientology which very close to catholic teaching with auditing being a satire of the confession. you can not be forgiven for doing wrong to others that is crime to think you can do what ever you want then be absolved of later. all the religious people of the world today are best represented by the puritians in syria and iraq that kill children after raping them!

          • disqus_GYmYwJNHps

            It is clear you have a particular agenda to push and you are quite rigid in your thinking rather than opening your mind. Religion, and especially Catholicism has given dignity to every human person regardless of their race, position in society, etc. You’re obviously mixing the teachings of the Church and the human acts of sin that as humans we inevitably make. Science can and has given us many rewards, and Catholicism has been at the front and centre in many/most of them. The Big Bang Theory was developed by a priest. The oldest educational institutions for the people are catholic ones.

          • oldguy293549

            you take credit for the church to be oldest learning institute? your statement is false and shows you have no background in history because there are other cultures than just yours in the world. the Chinese started making paper over 6 thousand years ago, do you think they did not teach anyone how to use it? the big bag was a slight made to make fun of the scientific discovery that all the observable galaxies where moving away from each other, not some insight from the church.

          • disqus_GYmYwJNHps

            You obviously pick “oldguy” and choose the information that you wish to listen to. If you were educated in the western world, then the origins of your education stem back to Catholic educational institutions. I did make other points in my post about at least one good that religion has brought to the world community, however you conveniently chose to ignore that.
            Reading this thread and all your comments demonstrate that you clearly have no ability to reason, appreciate differing opinions and lack the humility to acknowledge you may be wrong on some (if not many) matters. Especially that of religion and faith. You would not have an idea what my culture is, and I can assure you my ethnic and cultural background is possibly far more diverse than you would care to realise or acknowledge.

          • fredx2

            Every serious historian of science believes the church was instrumental in advancing science. You are merely regurgitating the nonsensical, misleading and blatantly false propaganda of the New Atheists, who are pretty much being laughed at now for being unscientific and excluding most of the real evidence from their analysis.

          • oldguy293549

            to clarify. the words “big bang” theory were first used on a radio show by fred holye in 1952. george lemaitire in hind sight is given credit for the theory but he did not use the words big bang or refer to it that way. it is the height of ignorance that the church makes claims now that it science is right. Why does the bible not spell it out right from the beginning . you know how long people went with accepting disease without trying to do something about it? god will? the church is shrinking for many reason but the most important one is people know how many mistakes they have made in past. the church has a long history of doing and saying the wrong thing. copernicus followers took his knowledge and put it in a book and the church ban it for hundreds of years why? if the church knew the big bang was real why did they ban a book that explains what people had seen for centuries and chose to promote Tolomatic view that is just stupid when you compare the two? and why did they not have a calendar that worked till 1582? after copernicus 1473 – 1543 had shown the way but his book was still banned? why?

          • fredx2

            The reason that the Copernicus book was banned was that every scientist of the age believed it was wrong. Their was no proof whatsoever that it was correct until stellar parallax was used to determine that stars were trillions upon trillions upon trillions of miles away – An idea that seemed nonsensical to every scientist of the age. Copernicus was afraid to publish his work because the scientists of his day would shred him to pieces because he had no proof. Not until Galileo ‘s telescope confirmed SOME parts of the theory did scientists start to believe that the Ptolemaic system was wrong. Before this time, all the observational evidence fit the Ptolemaic explanation.

            So it was science that held us back.

          • Peter

            Imagine a world where the jews started with the convent of science and rejected any claims that were not verifiable and that was the tradition that was passed down. how would the world be different

            I imagine that we would have had a slave state as amoral as the worst Pagan empire, as technologically advanced as Nazi Germany, as organized as Imperial Japan and as insatiable for raw materials and warm bodies as the United States economy. Plus an Orwellian capacity for overseeing and managing its own culture. It would have come into existence thousands of years ago and we would still be living under it today.

          • oldguy293549

            wow peter you claim all the good came from made up claims that are false while the science that leads people from the dark ages when your church ruled alone as bad. your claim that a science based society would be like the nazis. how do you support that claim? would you use any of the history of how the nazi empire fared with the type of leader ship that was raised catholic? you fail to understand that the german people are not nazis and they have a rich history of valuing education and science and when hitler came to power he did so using the teachings of the church not science. he also caused the science of the nazi to fail. can you understand that the nazis failed or do think they won the war too? hitlers life was almost taken by the german people who fought against him. scientist refused to help and their development of the atomic bomb was stopped by the very german scientist put in charge to make it work, you know that right. Can you understand that scientist have given give their lives to fight against what you say is what scientist work for. basically it comes down to that you do not understand for scientific discovery to be successful it has to happen under a free exchange of ideas without someone who already knows the answer directing the research. see in america our values of freedom have lead to the exposure of evil committed by people who held the highest level of esteem and in the past could hurt children in secret and there was never away to unseat these evil people. but today in a culture that values every one this evil is exposed and its your leaders that have been exposed as child molesters.

          • Peter

            Obviously what I wrote was speculative – after all you did invite me to use my imagination. So allow me to explain myself a bit more.

            Judaism has had an influence on the world out of all proportion to its numbers and ability to project power. It is unique. I think that is non-controversial. One of its distinctive features is its focus on social justice, and identification of this with divine will. This goes much further than the Golden Rule, which just about every culture has in some form. It goes so far as to identify one’s neighbor with God, and your treatment of those around you in practise amounts to your treatment of God. If this seems a platitude, that is only because you are living in a culture which has been steeped in this idea for the last couple of thousand years. It is Judaism’s AFAIK unique contribution to world culture.

            Now you ask me to imagine what would history have been like if Judaism had not had the unique factors which make it Judaism, but had instead a culture of science and empiricism. Obviously then whatever impulses it had towards social justice would have been weak, because those impulses were all theological. But it would potentially have had great capacity for technological prowess. A little sci-fi speculation gives me a picture of a small nation that conquers and dominates the known world, and maintains a great empire through technology (not so far-fetched; tiny Britain almost did the same). Whatever values they had would have been pragmatic, this-worldly and results-oriented, and certainly not Judaeo-Christian.

          • fredx2

            That’s right! To think of forgiving others for their sins is an abomination. Of course everyone must take as much revenge as possible. Enough with this “forgiveness” stuff.

            And by the way, Jesus did not wear diapers. He wore Pampers, which is entirely different.

          • Peter

            If everyone who understood the failures of the Church also understood the failures of the Enlightenment, and the disasters caused by them we might still disagree but at least do so with humility and the possibility of wisdom. Remember, anything that inspires people to hope for the redemption of the world is also – by definition – going to seem worth fighting and killing for. The idea that science will solve human problems for us is a good example. I won’t say that it’s necessarily false, but it has caused more people to die than all the religions put together.

          • oldguy293549

            see you like all religious people can not own up to that all of you are in the same boat together and in fact most of the religions today are what we reap from what you have sowed. ISIS is just like you and you can not see it just like they would not see you as just like them but if you use any logic and you see they justify themselves upon the same premise that you and yours have used to hurt so many. faith over all! science leads to peace and freedom it is history you want to have fantasies that you are moral but you are the exact opposite you represent evil and ego. you know what you can not know and see others who are unwilling to fall down the same hole as lost when it is you and all like you that are the source of hell on earth when it is heaven.

          • disqus_GYmYwJNHps

            “Why does the bible not spell it out right from the beginning” – you clearly have no idea what the bible is and how it is meant to be used.

          • oldguy293549

            I do know the history of the world do you? the bible is made up and when it was made up is a well know fact.

          • HappyCatholic

            Last time I’m checking back, but to paraphrase Chris Stephanik, “I can think of a few freakin’ differences between me and ISIS.”

          • oldguy293549

            they justify themselves same as you do using faith! take credit where credit is do your ideals help create the hell on earth we live in.

          • fredx2

            That’s right! When we follow a religion based on love, we are exactly like ISIS, right? You are now making blatantly untrue statements. Anyone who revered science would know how to distinguish between ISIS and other religions. The fact that you can’t tell any difference shows that you have no respect for facts and evidence.

          • oldguy293549

            fredx there is something wrong with you. your comments to me about me are a waste of your time. I have deleted my account because I have learned that there is not public discourse. you represent hate well with your adjectives that you use with regards to me. you can not understand that I did not call the rule of religion the dark ages! you can lead a new dark age and kill every one not like you. I on the other hand will not get filth on me from the likes of you any more!

          • fredx2

            Why thank you! The new dark ages will start tomorrow at 4 pm. Would you like a handi-wipe?

          • Peter

            What you say is rather incoherent but you seem to be saying that all religion is fanaticism, and that science or ideas associated with scientific methodology have never inspired fanaticism.

            Anyone with a cursory acquaintance with history knows both these statements are false.

            You are correct that we are all in the same boat together. I wish you all the best, and may we both leave the world better than we found it.

          • fredx2

            The nonsensical nature of your comments is indicated by the fact that you insist that science and religion are in conflict. This is a child’s view of things and is entirely untrue. If true, why did science arise in the Christian countries and languish in the non Christian countries?

          • fredx2

            That’s right! When Copernicus refused to publish his results because he did not want to endure the scorn of the men in the universities, he went to his local archbishop. The archbishop urged him to publish his work. Damn the church for retarding progress!

          • fredx2

            That;s right! Science can;t hurt anyone. Like those guys in the New Mexico desert that developed the atom bomb. Just let them try to say that an atom bomb can hurt anyone! Preposterous!

          • Beirut to Jupiter

            has nothing to do with the church and everything to do with how history is taught in the middle east. which is to say, it’s all propaganda.

          • Mavis Emberson

            They weren’t Middle Eastern Orthodox Christians or Jews anyway . This contributor seems to a speaker of English as a Second Language and to be using an online translater probably to read and also to write in reply… note the use of Profligate which as a noun which actually means spendthrift . Anyone know a good online translater or dictionary thesaurus. Or we could all write in Latin !!

          • fredx2

            Like gaydar. That alone has revolutionized the world.

          • fredx2

            Well, thank God we still have South Park to strengthen us every day in our moral virtue.

          • fredx2

            The church never said the vacuum doesn’t exist. Every church I have ever seen has a least one. How else are they going to keep the place clean? As you know, there are not enough nuns any more to make them get down on their hands and knees and pick up each bit of lint individually. Those good old days are gone for good.

          • Alyson Cruise

            Yeah except that’s not “anti-science”. That’s “pro-aristotelian science”. Read up on Aquinas and the church’s history with Aristotle’s teachings – the “dark ages”, in as much as they’re a thing rather than a modern construction, were a period in which the Church kept science alive by copying and reproducing Aristotelian works.

            Their mistake was in thinking that Aristotle was a science-messiah, because they were doing this before the scientific method. Saying they opposed science is like saying alchemists did just because they thought Hermes Trismigestus was involved.

      • AdumbroDeus

        Not to be a pedant, but I recognized my first as satire :p

      • Waitforit777

        Don’t onions have too many layers to be Catholic?

        • HappyCatholic


        • Edmund A. Wallace

          Ogres are like onions.. they have layers. So says Shrek. So Shrek cannot be a Catholic?

    • Jude

      I was waiting for you to arrive. Come, let me embrace you.

  • Dom

    This opens up a whole can of worms. Next thing you know, he will say the large population of molecules involved in “intermolecular forces” can be considered legitimate interactions, even though no actual chemical bond exists between them. Then he will say that atoms can break and re-form bonds with each other and the new bond can still be recognized as valid. And finally he will declare that the church must recognize the “strong nuclear force” which brings together same-charged particles to form the nucleus of an atom.

    • Benjamin Warren


  • HappyCatholic

    I am actually bookmarking this page. God bless you, EOTT!

  • Francis Choudhury

    Sheesh! And to think that all this while science, vigorously pursued by un-biased intellectuals in academia established by atheists committed to obvious Truth, was telling us exactly these things!

    • fredx2

      You mean in universities established by religious people. In the middle ages.

  • peterstocker

    Hullo! God the Magician, by Pope Benedict?? What are you smoking. This is false and the article is erroneous and out of context.

    • margaret1910

      Peterstocker, this is a satire site! As someone said below, it’s like the Catholic version of The Onion.

  • Mary L

    Science exists. The Soul, the essence or embodiment, exists. God, Creator of both…is Humanity both Science and Soul…do we as humans have a scientific theory for this….A simple explanation of Science and God, Author Unknown; .God’s Accuracy…Our Creator and Redeemer . . . and do we THINK about it??? God’s accuracy may be observed in the hatching of eggs. . . . For example: -the eggs of the potato bug hatch in 7 days; -those of the canary in 14 days; -those of The barnyard hen in 21 days; -The eggs of ducks and geese hatch in 28 days;-those of the mallard in 35 days; -The eggs of the parrot and the ostrich hatch in 42 days. (Notice, they are all divisible by seven, the number of days in a week!) God’s wisdom is seen in the making of an elephant. The four legs of this great beast all bend forward in the same direction. No other quadruped is so made. God planned that this animal would have a huge body, too large to live on two legs. For this reason He gave it four fulcrums so that it can rise from the ground easily.The horse rises from the ground on its two front legs first. A cow rises from the ground with its two hind legs first. How wise the Lord is in all His works of creation! God’s wisdom is revealed in His arrangement of sections and segments, as well as in the number of grains.-Each watermelon has an even number of stripes on the rind. -Each orange has an even number of segments. -Each ear of corn has an even number of rows.

    -Each stalk of wheat has an even number of grains. -Every bunch of bananas has on its lowest row an even number of bananas, and each row decreases by one, so that one row has an even number and the next row an odd number.-The waves of the sea roll in on shore twenty-six to the minute in all kinds of weather.-All grains are found in even numbers on the stalks, and the Lord specified thirty fold, sixty fold, and a hundred fold all even numbers. God has caused the flowers to blossom at certain specified times during the day. Linnaeus, the great botanist, once said that if he had a conservatory containing the right kind of soil, moisture and temperature, he could tell the time of day or night by the flowers that were open and those that were closed! The lives of each of you may be ordered by the Lord in a beautiful way for His glory, if you will only entrust Him with your life. If you try to regulate your own life, it will only be a mess and a failure. Only the One Who made the brain and the heart can successfully guide them to a profitable end. I HOPE YOU FIND THIS AS FASCINATING AS I DID. May God Bless You In Ways You Never Even Dreamed. Stand on the Word of God, “Life without God is like an unsharpened pencil – it has no point.”

    • fredx2

      Then how come the toilet paper roll runs out just when I need it most?

  • James Gustafson

    We do not need a website devoted to twisting the Popes words and changing thePope’s meanings into something alien and unrecognizable from what he actually said and meant, even if its funny, we have the regular secular media to do that 😛

    • Casper

      No, the secular media just fawns over him and ignores what they don’t agree with.

  • alibata

    Pope Francis’ acceptance of the laws of science is an act of humility that most previous popes never did thus has led to the separation of science and religion

    • jessej

      Can you provide a source for most Popes not accepting the laws of science?

  • Geoff Ebling

    God is no Chris Angel.

    • dwduck

      I should hope not…

  • Ignatius Myosurus

    This is perfect.

  • AreAy

    Didn’t he also just announce that positive-positive and negative-negative attractions in atomic orbitals and nuclei don’t contradict the laws of physics?

    • fredx2

      Suddenly the Pope is Sheldon Cooper.

  • Aaron

    Rain is angels crying.

  • Waitforit777

    I’m still waiting for His Infallible Holiness to weigh affirmatively in on the Strong and Weak Nuclear Forces before I’m ready to accept that physics actually has anything useful to say about our universe. For all rational people, the jury must remain out until then.

  • David Chelstowski

    This article is ridiculous. The Catholic Church has believed in
    evolution for at least 60 plus years.

    In the 1950 encyclical Humani generis, Pope Pius XII confirmed
    that there is no intrinsic conflict between Christianity and the theory of

    Pope Benedict XVI, third Encyclical was entitled “Love in Truth” (Caritas in Veritate) it focuses on love and hope (God is Love, Save in Hope).
    Not “God the Magician: Why Gravity Doesn’t Exist.” Seriously???????
    Did the author really believe this or did he make it up????? Either way is shoddy
    writing and bush league journalism.

    • HappyCatholic

      Haha, don’t worry; it’s just a satire piece- EOTT is like the Catholic version of The Onion. : )

      • David Chelstowski


  • David Chelstowski

    This article is ridiculous. The Catholic Church has believed in
    evolution for at least 60 plus years.

    In the 1950 encyclical Humani generis, Pope Pius XII confirmed
    that there is no intrinsic conflict between Christianity and the theory of

    Pope Benedict XVI, third Encyclical was entitled “Love in Truth” (Caritas in Veritate) it focuses on love and hope (God is Love, Save in Hope).
    Not “God the Magician: Why Gravity Doesn’t Exist.” Seriously???????
    Did the author really believe this or did he make it up????? Either way this is shoddy writing and bush league journalism.

  • richp

    Wait. Huh? The book of Genesis makes mention of light being the brightness of God’s teeth when He smiles? That’s a new one on me!

  • disqus_GYmYwJNHps

    FYI Pope Benedict XVI 3rd encyclical is entitled Caritas in Veritate (“Charity in Truth”) and has nothing to do with gravity or electromagnetism. I’m not sure where your info is coming from. Pope Pius XII wrote an encyclical declaring that evolution and Big Bang Theory does not conflict with Catholic teachings. This was declared in 1951. Pope Francis’ statements are nothing new in terms of theology for Catholics.


  • John

    Fake article

  • Peter Donnelly

    you’re ‘aving a laugh!

  • T. Audrey Glamour

    I bask in the “brightness of God’s teeth when He smiles.” Unlike some of my feminist sisters who find the male image threatening…besides they would want you to use “She” with a capital “S”.

    I know. Off topic, but just sayin’…

  • Paul Frantizek

    Great read. It’s funny how close it is to the quality and content of the actual Pope Francis reporting.

  • Lee Bacchi

    One of your best, EOTT! Thanks for many, many smiles and laughs!!

  • Abe Kano

    I wonder if I one day, after passing this world, I can ask permission to the Lord to travel by space to meet unexplored worlds “to boldy go where no man has gone before”…that’s the only way to do it, considering our limited life-span in this mortal body, and that at this time we do not have warp drives available and if we ever have one in this century it will be available only to a few.

    • fredx2

      He will allow you to go to other worlds, but it costs extra.

  • Kimberly Horgan

    the pop like to say otherwise but he just can’t! it’s 21st century now not 2000 years ago.
    Catholic teaching is based on the man made bible which the church claimed it’s written by god.
    the church used to think the Earth is in centre of universe, and Earth surface is flat. Blood will flow if one dared to speak out against the church teaching!. What’s the criminal cult!.
    people are saying the current pop is the last I think they’re not wrong. Look at churches around the world now, it’s virtually empty and sadden places. Ignorance last that long and have no reason to last any longer! regardless whatever the church are trying the save it from self destruction.

    • fredx2

      What do atheists have against capitalization?

      And spelling?

      And logic?

      • 1crappie2

        What else? How about a pure understanding and belief that God actually does exist. Why else would they spend their time lurking in the shadows in order to pounce upon a ghost they believe doesn’t exist?

  • Beirut to Jupiter

    I know this blog is satire, but I think this article should be shared:

    “This is what the Catholic Church has been saying for years. Despite
    the reputation of the Church for being anti-science—everyone keeps
    citing Galileo—the Catechism of the Catholic Church states there is no contradiction between faith and science:

    “…methodical research in all branches of knowledge, provided it is
    carried out in a truly scientific manner and does not override moral
    laws, can never conflict with the faith, because the things of the world
    and the things of faith derive from the same God.”


  • Joseph Brandenburg

    It doesn’t say that in my Bible. Mine just says “And God said, “Let there be light”, and there was light. God saw that it was good.”

  • Julian Glass

    Cardinal Burke is right; the Church today is a ship without a rudder. We had no need for a unified field theory in the pontificate of John Paul II; he would have excommunicated any astrophysicist who mentioned the issue, and made the Flat Earth Society a personal prelature.

  • Georges_Allaire

    As he has already reminded us, priest can’t know everything.

  • Ana Rose Kateri Plumlee

    Without higgs boson, we wouldn’t have Mass….

  • Fisher McKay

    This is lazy journalism … it is common knowledge that Galileo was sanctioned and imprisoned for his beliefs; (bad enough), but he was NOT “executed and dismembered” as the above article states.

  • Guest

    If anyone actually reads any of this stuff, it should be noted that the above article is literally full of blatant lies. Pope Benedict XVI’s third Encyclical was actually Caritas in Veritate (“Charity in Truth”), and the Church most certainly has become very understanding and encouraging of science over the past two centuries. To whoever wrote this, no offense, but you obviously know nothing about the Catholic Church and therefore shouldn’t write about it.

  • Peter Kowalski

    It all started out interesting, and then got boring to read about many people debating each other and few knowing what the Church does teach…….This is what You should be concerned with: YOU ARE A SOUL THAT LIVES IN A BODY. Someday that body will die. THIS WILL BE THE END OF THE WORLD…..FOR YOU! All the things of Earth and Universe that You are so concerned with now will no longer exist…FOR YOU! You will appear before God to be judged. You will not even have Your body with You. You will only bring Your Sins and any Good You have done with You. Only two things will exist in Your Eternity. You will either be with God for All Eternity…..or……You will be with Satan for all Eternity. Make the right choice NOW! This is what Pope Francis should be teaching. Leave the rest to the scientists. Science WILL NOT SAVE YOUR SOUL. JESUS WILL!

  • BrRobertNapolitanoSchwehr

    Progress!Some lessons are learned outside of Sunday School!

  • Fooled again. I was actually taking this seriously until the Galileo thing. I’m like “What? That’s not what happened to Galileo.” If you’re going to do satire like this, you should make sure it’s at least funny. People will quote this as real. It happens all the time.

  • NDaniels

    The Church has always taught that everything that exists, including the forces of Gravity and Electromagnetism, exists in relationship.

  • Mutt Cannon

    Papa is getting close to a real and intellectual definition of god. But I think getting people to accept his teachings are like getting some folks to give up their guns.

  • 1crappie2

    Electromagnetism? Isn’t that what helps run air conditioners?

  • Guy McClung

    Check out JB’s ghose writers now to get a preview of the final report, 2017, on ordination of priestesses. Actually insult to Casper et al to refer to JBs “ghost” writer.

  • LX5000

    Upon realizing that the laws behind these forces is unchanging, the pope reclassified them as part of the Rigid Forces.

  • scooter

    Very funny line about the Church’s treatment of Galileo – not true – but quite amusing. But my, my, my did this bit of jest set off an avalanche of lugubrious and hostile exchanges! HERE… on EOTT, you know, the humorous, satirical, quasi-religious web forum. All you serious sadfucs (on either side of the argument) need to find another place to vent!

  • pat

    So, Pope Francis accepts that gravity exists, fine. Now, if we can just get him to admit that adultery and mortal sin exist…