Pope Francis Not Sure How To Make Sense Of What He Just Said

November 14, 2014 by  
Filed under Vatican

VATICAN–Speaking to pilgrims during his weekly Wednesday audience yesterday, Pope Francis admitted that he was kind of having a hard time making any kind of sense whatsoever of what he just said.

The Pontiff, who has been known to make off the cuff remarks in the past, told those gathered in St. Peter’s Square that what he just said was “admittedly kind of weird.”

“I said what?” Francis asked those gathered. “There’s no way I just said that. OK, that’s just weird. Seriously, what the heck is it with me? Am I trying to change doctrine or something? How am I gonna explain this to my secular friends? Oh boy, I can see their faces now. I bet they’re just itching to ask when I’m gonna start allowing divorced gay Catholics to receive communion. This is great…just great. I’m so freaking pissed right now I think I’m gonna go blog about it.”

  • Skyler von Enn

    It’s good to have a humble pope who shares the experiences of his flock.

  • He must have been reading my tweets.

  • hahaha

  • Mike M

    Too accurate…

  • Lucas Hennessey™

    I thought this was a satire site?

  • Sr. Mary Brigid

    “Weirdness, yes,” Cardinal Kasper commented later, “but it is a merciful weirdness. And in Africa, of course, weird is a taboo.”

    • WayfarinStranger

      Omiwerd, Sister, you rule!

      (Save the Liturgy, Save the World)

      • T. Audrey Glamour

        I fixed your typos:

        Wave the Liturgy, Save the Weird…

        • WayfarinStranger

          Thanks, love it!

          (Save the Liturgy, Save the World)

  • T. Audrey Glamour

    Our priest often uses “pissed” in his homilies, too!

    • Fred Brown

      I hope he’s not a catholic priest!

      • T. Audrey Glamour

        He is a priest–but from a country where English is the official but not the native language. I think they use slang differently. Or have their own.

        That’s why Latin is better. It’s a dead language and so doesn’t change.

        Oops, is that invoking Godwin’s Law in Catholic circles? Sorry…

        • fredx2

          In England, “pissed” means drunk.

          • T. Audrey Glamour

            Oz, too.

        • Ginkgo100

          My God, you’re right. Latin in the liturgy is the Catholic Godwin’s Law. I’m totally using that from now on.

          Right, now off to confession with me for saying “My God” like that.

        • Ginkgo100

          No, really, I have been using it all over the place since you posted this. Including on this site. But “Catholic Godwin’s Law” is pretty clunky, so I’m calling it “Glamour’s Law” from now on.

        • Jo Flemings

          You really want to hear a homily in Latin?

    • AnneG

      Well, at least everyone understands it. And, if you are worried about the children, or smartalek 6 year olds, it is an opportunity to teach self-control.
      As for PF, I wish he’d speak Spanish. It’s easier.

  • ROFL!!

  • Marty Howard


  • Thibaud313

    Right on cue, I open my Facebook account and I have now idea how to make sense of what the Pope apparently just said. Thanks, Facebook friend who liked the article about the last thing the Pope just said !

  • Louis Bertrand

    Ah lighten up Little Flock. Signed Jesus.

  • Cajun

    At press time, the perplexed Pontiff was still said to be bearing a look of utter bewilderment. “Hm…what was going through my mind? Hmm…” He was quoted as saying to himself, into an AP microphone.

  • ithakavi

    Well, as one consolation, we finally have a Jesuit that is faithful to the Pope. Now if we can only find a Jesuit that knows what the Pope is talking about.